Mother-in-laws??

[Amber_lv]

Ok ladies i have a serious topic here! I hate my mother in law she is a totally beast i have tried for six years to make her like me and it just isn't going to happen she used to call me at all hours of the night crying to me about how her husband cheated on her and she went into very graphic details i would sit and listen and try to comfort her and then i come to find out all the time she had been badmouthing me to my husband and all her family behind my back! She told her family that i trapped my husband and all i wanted him for was his money! I was like what money? he has money ?where? But she has always gone out of her way to make me feel uncomfortable around her yet she says she doesn't have a problem with me? I am so frustrated we used to let our 3 yr old son go stay the weekend with them but she got remarried to an alcoholic and she would let him take my son out riding horses while he was sh*t faced and let my 3 yr old ride alone then when i confronted them they made me be the bad guy so after that when he was out there they told him your mom is not the boss when you are here and they would do it anyway and tell him not to tell me. He always came home and was so upset he would cry and then he would tell me because he didn't want to lie to me. So he no longer goes out there. The sad thing is she never calls on their b-days or any holiday ever i had a new baby in May of 2005 and he is 16 months old she has only seen him and my 6 yr old 2 times since he was born how sad is that? She makes it out to be my fault yet she can't knock on my door to tell them happy birthday she will leave an outfit on the door in the morning so she doesn't have to see anyone and then she calls my husbands cell phone and crys to him about it. I am so fed up i don't even care anymore and his sister is the same way. So i was wondering how are all your relationships with you mother-in laws?

[Amber_lv]

Oh i also forgot to mention that at my wedding she wouldn't even talk to me i tried to say hi to her and she walked away from me!!!! So rude!!

[Janet]

Sorry about your situation. That would be horrible to live like that. I was lucky, very lucky. My in-laws were very good. My MIL (hubby's step-mom, bio mom died in train wreck when he was 10) always told me she would never meddle and she didn't. We would have to invite them or else all we got were phone calls. They didn't want to intrude. My FIL passed in June of '05 and now my MIL is in a nursing home. We see her often and now I have the holiday dinners for their side at our home. Her time left here is limited and I will miss her terribly.

You MIL sounds like she likes to play the victim. Sorry you have to deal with that. I feel bad for your kiddos, that sucks she hasn't even taken the time to visit them, no matter what her and your relationship is. That is just plain rude!


My FIL and Step MIL, BIL and 2 SIL's are great! They have the occasionally family drama, but nothing worth complaining about...

Notice I didn't mention my MIL... My DH doesn't talk to her. She has made a lot of mistakes, and choices that make it so my DH is a much happier person with out her in his life. He felt he had to stop contact with her to keep his self esteem, health, happiness, and overall life better. She hasn't tried to contact him since he made that decision, so I think either she really just doesn't care, or she just wants the pity from others that "her son doesn't talk to her".

I have SO many friends that tell me it is actually a blessing to not have a MIL butting into my marriage.

[Amber_lv]

Originally Posted by Meg

You MIL sounds like she likes to play the victim. Sorry you have to deal with that. I feel bad for your kiddos, that sucks she hasn't even taken the time to visit them, no matter what her and your relationship is. That is just plain rude!


My FIL and Step MIL, BIL and 2 SIL's are great! They have the occasionally family drama, but nothing worth complaining about...

Notice I didn't mention my MIL... My DH doesn't talk to her. She has made a lot of mistakes, and choices that make it so my DH is a much happier person with out her in his life. He felt he had to stop contact with her to keep his self esteem, health, happiness, and overall life better. She hasn't tried to contact him since he made that decision, so I think either she really just doesn't care, or she just wants the pity from others that "her son doesn't talk to her".

I have SO many friends that tell me it is actually a blessing to not have a MIL butting into my marriage.

It is a blessing i wish i could have a relationship with my mil but it's just not worth the stress on me and my children i mean you can only be fake for so long ya know.

[Kimberley]

What a psycho witch!!! Girl, your MIL and my best friend's MIL must be sisters! I swear that Pam looks like the Fairy Godmother in Shrek 2. So hateful and ugly! Hold your head up high. Don't let her get to you. Quit trying to be friends with her. She doesn't want to be friends. You took her son away from her and she'll never forgive you for that. It's her loss...not yours!

[Gina]

Originally Posted by Kimberley

What a psycho witch!!! Girl, your MIL and my best friend's MIL must be sisters! I swear that Pam looks like the Fairy Godmother in Shrek 2. So hateful and ugly! Hold your head up high. Don't let her get to you. Quit trying to be friends with her. She doesn't want to be friends. You took her son away from her and she'll never forgive you for that. It's her loss...not yours!

You said it correctly .. You took her son away and she'll never forgive you for that.. But she has to be reminded that she did the same to, these MIL forget they took someone's son away from their moms to. Get over it...Life is to short to be so miserable. Amber remember its her loss you have children and she is not involved in their lives . Your children will grow up soon enough and she short changed herself. You did all you can, so don't give it a second thought.She doesn't sound like a decent woman for she wouldn't treat you and your children this way if she was. Whatever you do don't hold it against your husband he has no control over her and probably is frustrated with her behavior to. Good luck to you.
As far as my relationship with my MIL , she passed away over a year ago, she was a doll , and treated me like her own daughter. I was blessed.

[RLC12345678]

Awe! Honey! That really sux. I agree with Kimberley. No matter WHAT you do, you will NEVER please her. She obviously has some personal issues that she needs to deal with before she will ever be able to have a healthy relationship with ANYONE, including YOU! You and your hubby just need to get on the same page and make sure that your hubby is on YOUR side. He should be putting YOU and YOUR relationship WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY before his mother. Good luck to you, honey. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost, and your hubby and your children. MIL and in-laws in general come AFTER all of that.

[Amber_lv]

Thanks everyone i have just stayed away from her i have nothing to do with his family. His dad has done some horrific things as well but he is trying to make a mends and i am letting him my husband understands but it's a very touchy subject for us i just feel bad because we reaally don't have anything to do with his family but i refuse to put my kids through that ya know.

[Marilyn]

You've gotten some good advice here. Kimberley, Gina and Rebecca are right on track. You need to take care of your family as you are doing, and let her stew in her own mess. Sometimes we have to wish them well and leave them be. Your children will not miss out on anything from the way it sounds, but your MIL will miss out on them.

We have family that we have chosen not to have contact with. It's sad, but we are much happier because of it. We sometimes feel that we have reset the family. Just started over. Our dear friends are our family.

My MIL was actually a nice lady. Frustrating at times, but overall we had a very good relationship. She is gone now, but I do miss her.

[Mandy]

I don't have a MIL, but what i read is that, she's one sad old lady.
All you have to do is look after your own family and let her be, don't worry about her, and don't let her upset you in any way.
She is missing out, not you.

[Janet]

I've read and reread the posts on this subject, including mine. I'm just so sorry you have to go through this. I guess after losing my FIL and with step-MIL in nursing home, and my mother of 83 years in not the best of health, I'm realizing life is so short.

Have you tried writing her an honest, non-attacking letter? I feel sometimes a letter instead of a confrontation can work really well. I would put everything in it that you posted, including reminding her that she took her hubby away from his mother too. Maybe someday she can enter her grandchildrens life again, there is nothing in the world like grandparents (if they are good grandparents). You don't ever have to be best friends, but if you let her know just how much you love her son, maybe her heart will soften.

I wish you and your family the very best, no matter how you chose to handle it.

[khardy57]

My MIL didn't like me when my late husband and I got married. Since he's died, I've gone thru hell with my inlaws and my husband's brother. I'll be glad when everything is all settled and I can cut all ties with them.

[Janet]

So sorry about your husband's passing and that you are having a difficult time with the in-laws. Sure hope things get worked out for you real soon.

[khardy57]

Originally Posted by Janet

So sorry about your husband's passing and that you are having a difficult time with the in-laws. Sure hope things get worked out for you real soon.

Thank you. If it weren't for my family, I don't know what I'd do. My MIL is riding both sides of the fence and right now the brother in law doesn't speak to me at all. (That just breaks my heart! ) If my husband knew how they were acting, he'd beat the s*** out of his brother and disown his parents! He worked himself to death trying to take care of them and still do everything at our house. (We lived on a 250 ac farm and he did everything himself and still worked for the state of Georgia) I am very bitter because I feel that if his brother had taken any responsibility for the farm and his parents, Mark would still be with me. He was the love of my life.