The differences between a man and a woman

[Mandy]

Even though we can now explain differences between men and women's social conducts genetically (that's the best excuse I've heard for years), several facts remain puzzling and distinguished professors in the field think answer may be a few centuries away yet ... for instance, can you explain why:

Men are biologically incapable of letting a women light a barbecue.

Men drive to a party, women drive back.

Heterosexual women are not frightened by lesbians, whereas heterosexual men are terrified of homosexuals -- once they are pointed out to them, by women.

Men have flu, women have colds.

Women do not replace tops on jars and tubes.
Men put them on so tightly that they cannot be removed at all.

Single-tasking men do one thing well at a time: (e.g. drink a cup of coffee.) In the same time a multitasking women can make breakfast, make the children's sandwiches, organize the window cleaner, phone the office, dress the children, write shopping list, iron a shirt and de-flea the cat.
Women have not yet realized this is an evolutionary disadvantage.

Men warm their posteriors at the fire, women do not.
Women's posteriors enable them to sit comfortably on the floor, men's do not.

A man who regularly visits his mother is a mommy's boy.
A women who does the same is a good daughter.

A man who has no difficulty in undressing an adult women will nevertheless prove incapable of fitting a small child into a nightgown.

A woman believes that visitors will be impressed by a clean house.
A man believes that the visitors will be impressed with his large stereo system.

Exactly the same haircut will cost $30 more for a woman than it will for a man.

[Janet]

Oh Mandy, great post....LOLOL

[Kimberley]

Originally Posted by Mandy

A woman believes that visitors will be impressed by a clean house.
A man believes that the visitors will be impressed with his large stereo system.

ALL of these are funny but I have to reword this part...TEXAS STYLE!

A woman belives that visitors will be impressed by a clean house.
A man believes that the visitors will be impressed with his large smoke pit combination beer cooler out back!

Here's another: Men sweat, Women glisten. So the next time you are soaked from a marathon house cleaning, just remember, you are glistening like a pig.

[RLC12345678]

Originally Posted by Kimberley

ALL of these are funny but I have to reword this part...TEXAS STYLE!

A woman belives that visitors will be impressed by a clean house.
A man believes that the visitors will be impressed with his large smoke pit combination beer cooler out back!

These are ALL He-Larious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm still laughing about them. I want to reword this one, ALABAMA STYLE.....


A woman belives that visitors will be impressed by a clean house.
A man believes that the visitors will be impressed with his LARGE TRUCK and LARGE PIECE OF MEAT he will cook with his smoke pit combination beer cooler out back!