What is it with men?!

[RLC12345678]

My husband is so great and wonderful is almost every area I can think of, except when it comes to taking care of our dogs, but especially HIS dog, Lamar. It seems like I am doing all the work! Nay, it doesn't seem like it, I AM doing all the work! I am very sympathetic to the fact that my husband works more hours than I do and that is why I have bared the brunt of the work, but he just aggrevates me so badly! Let me start from the beginning....

We got our 2 yorkies and I did EVERYTHING for them...potty trained them, got up in the middle of the night with them (and still do), take them on walks, feed them, bathe them, ect. ect. ect. Whenever I would ask my hubby to help out, he would say, "Well, they're YOUR dogs." And to spare an arguement, I would say fine.

Well, now we have Lamar, who is supposed to be HUBBY'S dog. When we got him, I reminded hubby how I did everything for the yorkies so he is going to have to have most of the responsibility for HIS lab. He said FINE. But now I'm the one doing all the work. Hubby refuses to take the initiative to help out with him. He will take him outside to potty in the evenings if I tell him to, but he doesn't just say, Hey, let me take Lamar out for you. And in the mornings, he wakes up before me and thus wakes Lamar up, and instead of taking the initiative to take Lamar out since he is already up, he goes ahead and gets in the shower, which makes ME get up over an hour early to take Lamar out. On top of that, I wake up 2-4 times a night to take him out to potty. I finally asked hubby last night to start helping me out with this task and with the task of taking him out to potty before he gets in the shower in the morning. I suggested we take turns taking him out when he wakes us up in the middle of the night. Well, last night he wakes up and I had already done my round so I woke up hubby and told him Lamar needed to go out. So hubby starts huffing and puffing and making all kinds of raquet getting up and getting Lamar out of the crate, and taking him out...by the time it was all said and done, I was so awake from all the noise and commotion that hubby caused that I should have just taken him out myself. And when he had to take him out before he got in the shower this morning, he did the same thing...making all kinds of raquet, huffing and puffing, banging the crate...It was like hubby was a 2 year old pitching a fit bc he had to take his dog out. Well, this morning I said something to him in a not-so-kind tone how I didn't appreciate how he was acting. Well, now he's mad for the way I talked to him and he won't talk to me today. I'm taking care of 2 yorkies and a 7 week old labrador. And I refuse to take care of a grown man who is acting like a 2 year old!

I swear, if he is acting this way about helping me out with the dogs, how is he going to act when we have children?! I REFUSE to be married but have the responsbility of a single mother. If he keeps this act up, I won't ever have children with him.

Sorry this is so long...I'm just mad and needed to vent.

[Janet]

Sounds like it's time for a chat....not a confrontation....a chat. I'm not big on the silent treatment, too childish and the making all kinds of racket because he has to take HIS dog out is in that catagory too.

Remember Rebecca...a chat.

[RLC12345678]

We chat a civil and very mature chat just a little while ago when we both got off work. We are both exhausted and both of us have been on edge this week. He should not have acted the way he did last night and I should not have acted the way I did. We are both going to consider each other's feelings regarding care for the puppy and try to keep each other happy. Having a really young lab puppy is wearing us out! And Will has been working more the past 3 weeks than he ever has....100 hours/week. So I do need to try to be a little more sympathetic. I only work 37 hours/week so I can definately afford to get up in the middle of the night with him, which I am going to do from now on until Will gets some time off. I think just having me do it would make things alot easier for everyone.

[Janet]

Good girl!!! My gosh with him working that many hours when can he pee let alone sleep???? It great that you talked and worked it all out.

I always liked what Dr. Phil says (if I can say it the right way...LOL) "When two people are married, they should wake up each morning and say to themselves...what can I do today to make my wife/husband's day a good one." I like that.

[RLC12345678]

Originally Posted by Janet

Good girl!!! My gosh with him working that many hours when can he pee let alone sleep???? It great that you talked and worked it all out.

I always liked what Dr. Phil says (if I can say it the right way...LOL) "When two people are married, they should wake up each morning and say to themselves...what can I do today to make my wife/husband's day a good one." I like that.

I love that quote/advice, too!!!! I think me sucking up and taking care of Lamar and not complain about it would definately help my hubby's days better. When he is working that much, the last thing he wants to do is wake up in the middle of the night to take Lamar out...he needs his sleep. I have been getting at least 9 hours a night...I think I can afford to interrupt my beauty sleep to take Lamar out.

[Marilyn]

I just got home and read this thread. So glad that you worked this out so well. Sounds like both of you were tired and not meaning to hurt each other. Your solution sounds great under the circumstances. Come here to vent anytime to spare hubby the upset. Sounds like he is working very hard for your future!!!

[RLC12345678]

Originally Posted by Marilyn

I just got home and read this thread. So glad that you worked this out so well. Sounds like both of you were tired and not meaning to hurt each other. Your solution sounds great under the circumstances. Come here to vent anytime to spare hubby the upset. Sounds like he is working very hard for your future!!!

We both get very cranky when we are tired. He works so incredibly hard, and yes, it is for our future and so one day I can stay at home with our children and possibly not have to work. I should definately cut him some slack because he is a wonderful husband.

I just need to vent sometimes. Thanks, gals, for being so sweet and listening to my banter.

Hubby is taking me on a date 2nite because he has a night off and we have both been on edge all week and we need a night to reconnect.

[Janet]

Sounds wonderful Rebecca....now go get ready and have a very lovely date!!!

[RLC12345678]

Originally Posted by Janet

Sounds wonderful Rebecca....now go get ready and have a very lovely date!!!

I'm about to go change. We're going at 7!

[Marilyn]

Sounds wonderful!!! Soooo happy things are working out!!!!! Hope you have a really good time!!!

[Taurus Babe]

Rebecca, I admire your great communication and efforts in your relationship. What a lucky man!!! Way to be on 'graveyard' duties...as I know how much they suck! How was the date???

[RLC12345678]

The date was nice. It was nice to have some alone time with my hubby without all the distractions of the dogs.

[Gina]

Rebecca, I just read your thread , I am happy that you both got a date night out. As far as what you posted about your frustrations, it can be very, but your hubby is working alot of hours. I can understand him being tired and not wanting to wake up in the middle of the night. My advice to you is when he is off and not working such long hrs. compromise let him take over the responsiblity that night to give you a break. Just keep the communication open at all times and you will work things out.

[RLC12345678]

Originally Posted by Gina

Rebecca, I just read your thread , I am happy that you both got a date night out. As far as what you posted about your frustrations, it can be very, but your hubby is working alot of hours. I can understand him being tired and not wanting to wake up in the middle of the night. My advice to you is when he is off and not working such long hrs. compromise let him take over the responsiblity that night to give you a break. Just keep the communication open at all times and you will work things out.

I agree, Gina. Just because he is working more hours should not relieve him of ALL responsibility to his dog. We discussed this over dinner and when his schedule gets a bit lighter (which it should in a couple of weeks), he's going to start taking over a lot of the responsibility for Lamar.

[rivermom]

Awwww ~ I just love happy endings!