I Need Help and Advice!

[Emmsmom]

OMG.. Where do I start....

I homeschool and so there is a LOT that goes on in public school that I don't know about. I was informed by some friends that I really need to start teaching her about the anatomy of men and women. I honestly thought I was gonna loose it! My daughter is in the 4th grade and this just isn't something that I think about. I have told her about periods and hair starting to grow and so on about us. I honestly didn't think about it.

They said that they start learning about this stuff in the 4th grade. Just the thought of talking about a penis and not a WILLY really bothers me. LOL She knows that Diesel has a Willy and Nah Nah's.. She knows the difference in boy dogs and girls. I know she can handle it I honestly don't know if I am ready for it.

I would love to hear what your views are on this. I would love to know what to do. I don't know if she is ready or if I am the one who isn't ready. My baby is growing up and man it is just happening way to fast. Thank GOD I don't have to go through this but once!!

HELP!!lol

[Marilyn]

Michelle, it sounds like from what you said that she really knows all that she should for the 4th grade, however, you may want to begin addressing some of these issues with her soon. The situation is that you don't want her to be embarassed if she is with friends and they mention something on the subject and she is the only one who is not informed. It can be very embarassing and tramatizing to be in that situation. This happened to me in the 5th grade. I was in public school, but at that time, they did not teach what they do now, but all my friends knew and I did not. My friends started talking about the bad finger and what it meant and I new nothing on the subject. Everyone laughed at me, and I went home crying to my mother. She felt so bad that she had not told me so that I would be prepared.

It's sad that we have to deal with these issues so young, and it is difficult to deal with these subjects with our own children. There are some good well written books for children. I do not know any titles, but someone on here may, or you may check at your library.

Hope all goes well. In a few years this will all be past and you will look back and hopefully smile.

[Emmsmom]

Gosh I can only hope! I know she needs to know. I guess I just feel like she is still too little. I didn't think about looking into books. I think it would be nice to find a "christian" book about it all. I think that a Christian "style" book would be able to handle it in a much better way. This isn't something that I want her to learn from a stranger. This is something that should always come from parents.

My mother didn't even bother telling me about it. She gave me a book and sai here read it. I sat by myself in my room and read it. It scared me half to death! I guess I need to get on the ball and find a good way to inform her about it all...

Kids these days are just growing up way to fast!

[Janet]

We started with all this when my son was very small. We always used the correct terminolgy concerning body parts. As much as I hated and for some reason was embarassed, saying those words made my skin crawl, but I did it anyway. Whenever Rick would ask questions I would answer him as honestly and open as I could for his age level. When he was in the sixth grade is when they showed him and his class (boys separate from girls) the 'health' films. He came home with a little pamphlet and wanted to know more, so I sat with him and explained everything, including the emotional side to it all. A few weeks later he wanted to know just exactly what a 'rubber' was. So I explained that as well.

I tried my hardest not to act like it bothered me explaining this all too him and I think I did a good job. It was something, I guess, he didn't want to talk with his dad about. We've always had a close relationship and I always told him there was NOTHING we couldn't discuss and that if I didn't know the answer, we would find out together. It's still that way today. We talk about anything and everything. Rick knows I'll always be honest with him. He's 16 now and I hope it stays this way forever.

[Marilyn]

Originally Posted by Emmsmom

I think that a Christian "style" book would be able to handle it in a much better way.

Perhaps you could find something at a Christian book store, or even online. You could search something like "facts of life christian children's book" or something like that and see what you find.

[Lissa]

I was working at a bookstore and we had a picture book for kids for that exact purpose. I can't think of the name off the top of my head. It just goes through a basic run down of the differences between male and female anatomy in a really soft way without going into the whole reproductive part of it.

I'm really trying to think but I can't remember the title for the life of me...if you have a bookstore near you I would recommend looking in the Parenting section if they have one. I know we kept a couple books like that in the section for younger children.

[Brooke]

I would handle this by bringing art into home schooling...Kids love art and if you look at the famous artist many have nudes. Michael Angelo has a lot of nudity... He sculpted and painted. If you incluse art into your schoooling you can matter of factly show her sculpture and paintings of nudese, explain that GOd made us diffrent and show it as being natural with out uncomfortable feeling kids can get when we as adults get serrious!!!! You can show an artist's work and think up a fun project that would tie into that artist... Kids love it and you can aproch the body as God's design...

I do think it is important not to shy away from the sexual topics at this age... Kids seem to know way more then you think they do from friends and tv and such. Make sure you are open with her so she feels she can be honet andopen with you. As she gets older you want these conversations to be comfortable andit all starts now not when they kit the teen years!!!

Originally Posted by Marilyn

Michelle, it sounds like from what you said that she really knows all that she should for the 4th grade, however, you may want to begin addressing some of these issues with her soon. The situation is that you don't want her to be embarassed if she is with friends and they mention something on the subject and she is the only one who is not informed. It can be very embarassing and tramatizing to be in that situation. This happened to me in the 5th grade. I was in public school, but at that time, they did not teach what they do now, but all my friends knew and I did not. My friends started talking about the bad finger and what it meant and I new nothing on the subject. Everyone laughed at me, and I went home crying to my mother. She felt so bad that she had not told me so that I would be prepared.

It's sad that we have to deal with these issues so young, and it is difficult to deal with these subjects with our own children. There are some good well written books for children. I do not know any titles, but someone on here may, or you may check at your library.

Hope all goes well. In a few years this will all be past and you will look back and hopefully smile.

DITTO! You are a smart woman, with great advise!

[Tink]

Oh man does this bring back memories!
I didn't homeschool until jr high age, so my kids were in public school until then. In about 4th grade my son had had the anatomy lessons in school, and the topic of "wet dreams" came up but wasn't explained to his satisfaction. He too was (and is) the kind of boy who seems to feel he can ask Mom anything...

So he came home one day bouncing off the bus and sees me working in the yard. He yells across the lawn "Hey Mom, do you know what a wet dream is?" I was very glad we lived in a rural area with no close neighbors!

I wish we didn't have to inform the kids so young, but agree with Marilyn that they need to know from parents before their friends start talking.

[Passionfruition]

I think the earlier the better, that way they don't see as much awkwardness about the whole subject. My mom finally decided to have "the talk" with me when I was 14 years old....and by then, I had figured it all out in ways that would have been better if she'd just told me at a much, much younger age. It might seem very weird to talk about that stuff now but better it comes from you than other kids at playgroup, etc.

Kudos for homeschooling, though! I was homeschooled thru middle school, and my husband was homeschooled k-12! (In different states; we didn't meet until mid-college.)

I am a health and pe teacher and I definately think children need to know about this stuff early on.. She is not too young to start.. If you want to PM me, i might have some books for ideas that you can use to help her out!! Good luck