I'm going to lose it!!!!!!!

[toodles]

I am just at witts end. Hubby is really irritating me. It seems like it takes nothing at all to set him off these days.

Last night he slept on the couch. why??? well, your guess is as good as mine but we did have a disagreement last night. a very minor one, I thought. this is what happened:

He went to make some coffee in the kitchen and comes in and says "can you believe we are almost out of regular AND decaf??" I said "wow!" He said "wanna sit on the porch and drink some coffee with me??" I said yeah, that sounds great! Let me get some coffee..."

I go to pour me some decaf and said "well, I need to go to Cool Springs anyway to get them to reset the alarm on my car"

he says "what do you mean, anyway??"

I said "I can go and get some more coffee while I am there"

he just started laughing this irritated little laugh. I said "you know, I don't know why you have so much trouble following me. I have never had anyone ever have as much trouble as you do."

He said "oh, so now it's my fault??"

I just stood there, kinda stunned. I wasn't saying that anyone was to blame. Maybe I need to start being more precise when I talk but I wasn't saying there was anything wrong with him. I was just laughing because he has such a hard time following me and I am not used to it.

We are just different like that. when he talks, he is very exact and precise. to a point that it almost annoys me. Like, he will not shorten any words...he is just EXACT. I am not. I am a more casual person and I really can't help it.

so...we never made it to the porch. he opened up his laptop and just started working on some stuff. I just sat there. I got a phone call from a good friend of mine, we started talking and hubby got up and went outside with his laptop. when I got off the phone I went out there with him. I said "it's kinda chilly out here". He said "yeah".

that was it. nothing else said.

I came back inside after a few minutes and folded some clothes and brushed my teeth. When I came out of the bathroom, he was in bed. I got in bed. about 5 minutes later, he gets up and goes into the living room. I fell asleep and woke up at 5:30 this morning to find that he had taken his pillow and alarm clock and went and slept on the couch!

what in the world????

I just dont know. He is up now and said good morning to me but is pretty much acting like I don't exist. When he gets out of the shower, I will ask him what is wrong but I don't want to get into a big discussion until after my daughter gets to school. so it might have to wait....I hate this.

It is so hard to be married. I had no idea.....

[Mandy]

Hmm... my husband can get like that sometimes, that i wonder "what now"???? Its very confusing, and i used to upset me, but now i tend to make a joke of it, he would find the smallest most unimportant thing to nag nag nag about?! Specially with my son, i used to wonder if he goes around looking for things to complain about LOL
Geeezzz i get so fedup with him, i tell him he sounds like an old lady with wet pants.
Sometimes i wonder if men go thru PMS!!

[toodles]

Originally Posted by Mandy

Hmm... my husband can get like that sometimes, that i wonder "what now"???? Its very confusing, and i used to upset me, but now i tend to make a joke of it, he would find the smallest most unimportant thing to nag nag nag about?! Specially with my son, i used to wonder if he goes around looking for things to complain about LOL
Geeezzz i get so fedup with him, i tell him he sounds like an old lady with wet pants.
Sometimes i wonder if men go thru PMS!!

are we married to the same man??? LOL

[Mandy]

Originally Posted by toodles

are we married to the same man??? LOL

LOL... a LOT of men are this way girl. I think if we all are honest about it, 80% of us would agree

Some days i dont have a problem to ignore hes nitty gritty moods, and then i have days where it makes my neckhairs rise, thats when he gets a "mandy blasting" LOL

[cindy0721]

Hubby is like that too... he has the hardest time understanding me... he will at times argue a point til he is blue in the face only to realize I agree with him and he just didn't GET IT.... awww... I could smack him sometimes.... lol

[Janet]

My hubby understand me....I have a hard time understanding him. He drives me nuts!!!! He tries to use big words that he doesn't even know the meaning of and doesn't make sense to what he is talking about. Not sure who he is trying to impress, but it's not impressing me at all. Makes me think he's nutso!

Men are just weird, that's about the only way I can explain them. I just ignore him and hope he sleeps on the couch...LOL

[goofywife]

I feel very forunate. I do not have this problem. My DH and I are in a place in our marriage that is great. We each feel comfortable with each other and the decisions that we make and do not worry if one has to make a decision without the other. Usually they are right on target.

On the flip side, at my full time job we have done some personality profiling. So, I had both of us done. We each discovered our strengths and weaknesses. They wrote a book on this called "discover your strength" which we read as well.

I know when its best to go with his strength and he know when its mine. At the same time, I know when he works himself into a conflict (drive vs detail) and I need to guide him to make the decision and be ok with it. We also compliment each other with things that he is strong at and things that I am strong at and we give each other the room to feel like we are partners.

[Mandy]

Originally Posted by Janet

My hubby understand me....I have a hard time understanding him. He drives me nuts!!!! He tries to use big words that he doesn't even know the meaning of and doesn't make sense to what he is talking about. Not sure who he is trying to impress, but it's not impressing me at all. Makes me think he's nutso!

Men are just weird, that's about the only way I can explain them. I just ignore him and hope he sleeps on the couch...LOL

Please remind me to make sure my mouth is not stuffed with coffee while i read "husband related posts"
You have me spitting my coffee all over the place ROFLMAO!!! Your reaction, oh man janet, i can just hear you say these things!
My son asked me what im laughing at, told him something funny on tv and im still LMAO!

We DEFINATLY need to have a meeting in this lifetime!

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by Mandy

Please remind me to make sure my mouth is not stuffed with coffee while i read "husband related posts"
You have me spitting my coffee all over the place ROFLMAO!!! Your reaction, oh man janet, i can just hear you say these things!
My son asked me what im laughing at, told him something funny on tv and im still LMAO!

We DEFINATLY need to have a meeting in this lifetime!

Uh oh! Are you going to have to buy a new keyboard again? Lol!

I feel pretty lucky. My husband does a very good job of understanding me and in the times when he doesn't, he tries very hard until he does. I hope you and your hubby can reach a similar place in your marriage Toodles. It will be worth it in the end.

[Janet]

Mine understands me, like I said earlier...his hearing must be going, cause he doesn't always hear what I'm saying, I think. I'll be saying something and he'll have this "deer in the headlights" look on his face. I'll tell him, "you don't even have a clue do ya" and he'll say, yes and then answer something way off topic. Duh!!! It'd be like me saying "Hi how was your day" and he'll say "I've thought about it" and I'll say, "thought about what" and then he'll say.. "what?"

I might as well talk to the wall! One other thing...aaww oh here I go....he does is tell me the same thing one hundred times. He'll start telling me something and I'll tell him I know, he already told me. Next day...same thing. I've thought about hiding one of those small recorders on me and when he starts in on the same thing again, pull it out and hit PLAY!!!

[Mandy]

Originally Posted by Janet

Mine understands me, like I said earlier...his hearing must be going, cause he doesn't always hear what I'm saying, I think. I'll be saying something and he'll have this "deer in the headlights" look on his face. I'll tell him, "you don't even have a clue do ya" and he'll say, yes and then answer something way off topic. Duh!!! It'd be like me saying "Hi how was your day" and he'll say "I've thought about it" and I'll say, "thought about what" and then he'll say.. "what?"

I might as well talk to the wall! One other thing...aaww oh here I go....he does is tell me the same thing one hundred times. He'll start telling me something and I'll tell him I know, he already told me. Next day...same thing. I've thought about hiding one of those small recorders on me and when he starts in on the same thing again, pull it out and hit PLAY!!!

LMAO!!!! Now Janet, you just gave me a great idea! I am going to tape my husband snoring! In the morning i ask him which forest he took down lastnight, and hes like "i wasnt snoring" He doesnt always snore, but when he does the walls start shaking, hopefully they wont cave in LOL

[DianaB]

Janet at least your husband tells you things. My husband tells everyone else and THEN when I say that I haven't heard about it, he lets me know that he DID tell me. I listen to everything he says and I know when he told me something and when he did NOT tell me something!!

[toodles]

Originally Posted by DianaB

Janet at least your husband tells you things. My husband tells everyone else and THEN when I say that I haven't heard about it, he lets me know that he DID tell me. I listen to everything he says and I know when he told me something and when he did NOT tell me something!!

my hubby does this too!!!!!!!!!!

[toodles]

we both stayed very busy at work today. I had to go handle a crisis with my company and he was meeting with subs all day. So we stayed busy. He did send me a msg asking if I could have lunch with him. I just smiled when I got that. But unfortunately, I was 1.5 hours away from him and couldn't get back any time soon. So I asked for a rain check and he said OK. so...we will make it up tomorrow. The rest of the day was kinda quiet but when I got home, I saw he was online and asked when he would be home and what he would like for dinner. This made his day because he is the one that usually cooks in the house. I told him I intended on going to the grocery store and would be picking up a few things for dinner and asked what he preferred..chicken or beef. So...he was excited to get home to a cooked meal

He got home and I could tell he still had a headache. he had indicated earlier that he didn't feel good. So he went and laid down in the bedroom. I went in and laid with him, kissed his forehead and asked if I could get him anything. He said he just got all he needed

so we laid there for a minute until i had to get up to check on dinner. Well, after dinner, we laid back down and just talked about nothing. it was very nice. i laid my head on his chest and suddenly we were back to when we were dating. We both commented on how nice it was.

so we realized at that moment, that one of the things we are lacking most is affection. We work very closely together with our companies involved with each other so our relationship has turned very "business-like". We realized tonight that we really need to put the passion back into our marriage. even if all it means is that we lay on the couch together and make jokes. Holding hands while walking through the grocery store.

When we first got married, we used to have this game we would play. We had each day of the week put on a slip of paper. We put them all into a bowl. Each week, we would both draw a day out of the bowl. We would keep it secret. Well,. whatever day we drew, we did something special for the other person on that day. it was so fun. it got kinda hard after a while cuz we ran out of ideas we would start repeating ourselves over and over again. But it was fun. it was exciting. We need to do stuff like that again.

Our 1 year anniversary is May 7. I am hoping that on that day, we can look at each other and say that this is only a second in time for us compared to the long life we have ahead of us. I think we just need to do things to keep it alive.

look at the sticky note that he left on my computer a few months ago...

Let's make sure that before today is over we take one step closer to being stronger together until we last forever.
Love
-JIM-

yeah, he is a doll.

[AngieDoogles]

Aww, that's so sweet Toodles. I'm glad things are looking up!