Broken Engagement

AngieDoogles · 05-11-2007, 11:49 AM

One of my dearest friends has been engaged to her fiance since December, but she broke it off with him this week. She's having a very difficult time since they have dated for over three years. She really felt it was the right thing to do though(and her parents agreed) because he often brought her down and made her feel really bad. He also didn't appreciate all of the things she did for him either. She gave and gave, but he didn't really do very much at all. The guy is bipolar so their relationship has always been up and down. She said that when he was happy, she was ecstatic and felt like the happiest person alive, but when he was sad he would try to make her sad too and she'd end up crying in her room for days. This is not like her at all. She was prom queen and homecoming queen in high school and is really bubbly, outgoing, and just fun to be around. She's also the most genuinely nice person I've ever met.

Anyway, she has been having a very hard time dealing with this and has been hanging out with me and my hubby almost every night since (and just before) they broke up. I wish I could make her feel better, but the best I can do is listen to her stories and tell her that we are here for her when she needs us. I was just hoping that you ladies might be able to say a quick prayer for her. I'd love to see her truly happy and smiling again, but I know it will take time. I just hate it when people are sad...

Emmsmom · 05-11-2007, 11:58 AM

I can imagine how hard it must have been for her to do something like this. It took a lot of courage that is for sure. I will keep her in my thoughts.

Mandy · 05-11-2007, 11:58 AM

Angie, im so sorry your friend is going through a hard time, but by the sounds of it, its probably for the best, and its better to happen now, then after they married with kids. I will keep her in my thoughts & prayers.

AngieDoogles · 05-11-2007, 12:03 PM

Thanks girls. You are right Mandy. Much better now that later. I have unfortunately seen bad marriages in the past and how horrible it would be to have to constantly fight and bicker. I'm glad she doesn't have to go through that, but I wish she didn't have to be in so much pain right now. She is 22 years old and is afraid she'll never get married. She is a beautiful, talented girl with such a sweet personality and I know the right guy is out there for her. Until she finds him, I hope that my hubby and I are able to encourage her and just be there for her when she needs a friend...

Mandy · 05-11-2007, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AngieDoogles

Thanks girls. You are right Mandy. Much better now that later. I have unfortunately seen bad marriages in the past and how horrible it would be to have to constantly fight and bicker. I'm glad she doesn't have to go through that, but I wish she didn't have to be in so much pain right now. She is 22 years old and is afraid she'll never get married. She is a beautiful, talented girl with such a sweet personality and I know the right guy is out there for her. Until she finds him, I hope that my hubby and I are able to encourage her and just be there for her when she needs a friend...

It will be rough on her right now, but deep down, she knows she did the best thing. Those rough edges of hurt will fade as time goes by, and time will heal her heart. She sounds like a wonderful girl, and for sure she will meet the guy of her dreams! Tell her, never to go out looking for him, he will turn up unexpectedly.

AngieDoogles · 05-11-2007, 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mandy

It will be rough on her right now, but deep down, she knows she did the best thing. Those rough edges of hurt will fade as time goes by, and time will heal her heart. She sounds like a wonderful girl, and for sure she will meet the guy of her dreams! Tell her, never to go out looking for him, he will turn up unexpectedly.

I will definitely tell her that Mandy. I think she is coming by tonight depending on when she gets off work. She is a photographer for a local newspaper and works crazy hours (3-10) so hopefully she won't be too tired.

DianaB · 05-11-2007, 01:05 PM

I agree that she did the right thing. It sounds a situation that she needed out of and as Mandy said, "its better to happen now, then after they married with kids." As with all breakups it's going to take a while to get over it. Tell her not to rush into another relationship but to take her time and find "just the right guy". She needs to get her self-esteem back and feel good about herself.

toodles · 05-11-2007, 06:25 PM

wow...sounds like a tough draw. well, it is good that she was able to call it off now. cuz once you are married, "calling it off" is a LOT harder to do....

Just keep being her friend. sounds like that is what she really needs. I hope all works out for her.

Janet · 05-12-2007, 03:51 AM

Sounds like she needed to do this. All we can do is be supportive I think. Only the couple knows how the relationship really is and then if you listen to only one side, it's not a complete truth. She will heal, but it takes time. Thank goodness she listened to her heart and made the break now. Too many people take the attitude with marriage is that we'll see how it goes. I'm glad she didn't do that.

AngieDoogles · 05-12-2007, 10:49 AM

Gosh, I feel so sorry for her. She is at work right now photoshoping three sets of wedding pictures and it's making her really sad because she thought she'd be getting married within the year. My hubby and I are driving out there in a few minutes (it's about 20-30 minutes away) to try to give her some company and I'm going to help photoshop so she isn't quite as swamped. I hope it helps to have friends there and not be so focused on weddings.

Mandy · 05-12-2007, 10:53 AM

Angie, thats so sweet of you, and your hubby to do. It will help her, to have you guys around, and take her mind off things for a bit. She is very luck to have a friend like you!!

judy · 05-13-2007, 10:35 AM

Poor thing, but I agree with everyone else. She's better off and will be much happier later on. You and your husband are wonderful friends to care for her now. If I feel down, know I now where to come.

Mandy · 05-21-2007, 08:36 AM

Angie, how is your friend doing? Hope she is feeling better, and more at peace with herself.

AngieDoogles · 05-21-2007, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mandy

Angie, how is your friend doing? Hope she is feeling better, and more at peace with herself.

Thanks for asking Mandy. She has her good days and her bad ones at this point. She was very upset a few days ago because a mutual friend told her that her ex has been telling everyone that she was a bad girlfriend and that's why they broke up. It was just hard to hear, but I have been telling her over and over that she deserves better and that she'll find an amazing guy at the perfect time. I think overall she is healing and doing better.

By the way, I don't think I mentioned this before, but she was my wedding photographer so all of my wedding pics that you've seen are thanks to her.

Mandy · 05-21-2007, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AngieDoogles

Thanks for asking Mandy. She has her good days and her bad ones at this point. She was very upset a few days ago because a mutual friend told her that her ex has been telling everyone that she was a bad girlfriend and that's why they broke up. It was just hard to hear, but I have been telling her over and over that she deserves better and that she'll find an amazing guy at the perfect time. I think overall she is healing and doing better.

By the way, I don't think I mentioned this before, but she was my wedding photographer so all of my wedding pics that you've seen are thanks to her.

Good thing she has you by her side, supporting her!! I agree with you, she WILL find the perfect guy in time to come. What her ex is spreading around about her, is plain mean from hes side!!

You wedding pics are gorgeous, shes a great photographer!

05-11-2007, 11:49 AM	#1
AngieDoogles Donating 4WT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 6,509	Broken Engagement One of my dearest friends has been engaged to her fiance since December, but she broke it off with him this week. She's having a very difficult time since they have dated for over three years. She really felt it was the right thing to do though(and her parents agreed) because he often brought her down and made her feel really bad. He also didn't appreciate all of the things she did for him either. She gave and gave, but he didn't really do very much at all. The guy is bipolar so their relationship has always been up and down. She said that when he was happy, she was ecstatic and felt like the happiest person alive, but when he was sad he would try to make her sad too and she'd end up crying in her room for days. This is not like her at all. She was prom queen and homecoming queen in high school and is really bubbly, outgoing, and just fun to be around. She's also the most genuinely nice person I've ever met. Anyway, she has been having a very hard time dealing with this and has been hanging out with me and my hubby almost every night since (and just before) they broke up. I wish I could make her feel better, but the best I can do is listen to her stories and tell her that we are here for her when she needs us. I was just hoping that you ladies might be able to say a quick prayer for her. I'd love to see her truly happy and smiling again, but I know it will take time. I just hate it when people are sad... __________________ "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~MT

05-11-2007, 11:58 AM	#2
Emmsmom Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 612	I can imagine how hard it must have been for her to do something like this. It took a lot of courage that is for sure. I will keep her in my thoughts. __________________ MICHELLE

05-11-2007, 11:58 AM	#3
Mandy Donating 4WT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Who cares! Posts: 4,587	Angie, im so sorry your friend is going through a hard time, but by the sounds of it, its probably for the best, and its better to happen now, then after they married with kids. I will keep her in my thoughts & prayers. __________________ Many people will walk in and out your life, but only true friends leave footprints!

05-11-2007, 12:03 PM	#4
AngieDoogles Donating 4WT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 6,509	Thanks girls. You are right Mandy. Much better now that later. I have unfortunately seen bad marriages in the past and how horrible it would be to have to constantly fight and bicker. I'm glad she doesn't have to go through that, but I wish she didn't have to be in so much pain right now. She is 22 years old and is afraid she'll never get married. She is a beautiful, talented girl with such a sweet personality and I know the right guy is out there for her. Until she finds him, I hope that my hubby and I are able to encourage her and just be there for her when she needs a friend... __________________ "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~MT

05-11-2007, 01:05 PM	#7
DianaB Moderator Donating 4WT 13K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Kansas Posts: 16,069	I agree that she did the right thing. It sounds a situation that she needed out of and as Mandy said, "its better to happen now, then after they married with kids." As with all breakups it's going to take a while to get over it. Tell her not to rush into another relationship but to take her time and find "just the right guy". She needs to get her self-esteem back and feel good about herself. __________________ ´¨) ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Diana Baker ✞ You and I are friends....... Always remember that if you fall I will pick you up...... After I stop laughing!!!

05-11-2007, 06:25 PM	#8
toodles Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Nashville, Tn Posts: 243	wow...sounds like a tough draw. well, it is good that she was able to call it off now. cuz once you are married, "calling it off" is a LOT harder to do.... Just keep being her friend. sounds like that is what she really needs. I hope all works out for her. __________________ Give me coffee & I'll be your buddy 4ever "Toodles" Mandee...AKA-Pepe Mint on YT

05-12-2007, 03:51 AM	#9
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,624	Sounds like she needed to do this. All we can do is be supportive I think. Only the couple knows how the relationship really is and then if you listen to only one side, it's not a complete truth. She will heal, but it takes time. Thank goodness she listened to her heart and made the break now. Too many people take the attitude with marriage is that we'll see how it goes. I'm glad she didn't do that. __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1

05-12-2007, 10:49 AM	#10
AngieDoogles Donating 4WT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 6,509	Gosh, I feel so sorry for her. She is at work right now photoshoping three sets of wedding pictures and it's making her really sad because she thought she'd be getting married within the year. My hubby and I are driving out there in a few minutes (it's about 20-30 minutes away) to try to give her some company and I'm going to help photoshop so she isn't quite as swamped. I hope it helps to have friends there and not be so focused on weddings. __________________ "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~MT

05-12-2007, 10:53 AM	#11
Mandy Donating 4WT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Who cares! Posts: 4,587	Angie, thats so sweet of you, and your hubby to do. It will help her, to have you guys around, and take her mind off things for a bit. She is very luck to have a friend like you!! __________________ Many people will walk in and out your life, but only true friends leave footprints!

05-13-2007, 10:35 AM	#12
judy Donating 4WT Yakker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Denver, NY Posts: 8,097	Poor thing, but I agree with everyone else. She's better off and will be much happier later on. You and your husband are wonderful friends to care for her now. If I feel down, know I now where to come. __________________ *Judy*

05-21-2007, 08:36 AM	#13
Mandy Donating 4WT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Who cares! Posts: 4,587	Angie, how is your friend doing? Hope she is feeling better, and more at peace with herself. __________________ Many people will walk in and out your life, but only true friends leave footprints!

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