Upcoming wedding and counseling...

I'm a man, so I don't even know if I'm allowed to post here. I'd just like some honest responses and I feel like that is what I will get here, unlike asking at some other sites.

My fiance and I are getting married later this year. We want to meet with the preacher who is going to be performing our ceremony for pre-marital counseling, but my fiance is worried that the preacher will question my Christianity. My fiance knows that I grew up in a Baptist church and that I have accepted Lord Jesus Christ as my savior and that I have been baptized. She has been very active in the church and has attended a Christian college. What would make her feel this way about my religion and my personal relationship with Jesus? I have talked with her about it and she said that she feels I don't take my religion seriously. When did religion become a competition?

I'm confused and don't want to embarass myself or my fiance in front of the preacher. What advice can you give me to ensure that the counseling sessions go well? And what do women expect from their husbands in terms of including God in their marriage?

[Janet]

I hope someone more knowledgeable than I will post and help you. I do know that as far as the counseling...be honest. No one can get good advice or counseling unless they are totally honest.

[judy]

I would say that you need to be completely honest and then go with the flow.

Your marriaqe must be based on trust. Without honesty, there is no trust.

Good luck.

[DianaB]

I think that your fiancee is not sure if you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Is He number one in your life and do you live a life that's pleasing to Christ? I know that for a Baptist it's important to be baptized as a part of your salvation, but the most important part is how you live your life AFTER you've accepted Jesus as your savior and been baptized. Your relationship with Him. Are there things in your life that your fiancee can look at and question where you stand as a Christian?

If you have religious differences I highly recommend that you talk them out. People tend to think that differences aren't important, but they tend to come out, especially when you have children to consider.

Your minister isn't going to try and embarass you. He's there to help you figure out some of those differences you have and to help you with some questions that you may not of thought of in your future marriage. Don't be afraid to talk to him. Maybe you could go in and talk to him alone about your questions. Remeber he's there to help you.

I don't know if I helped or not. Good luck and if you have any other questions don't hesitate to ask us.

[Taurus Babe]

Great advice Diana

[Gina]

This is a real issue that you both better discuss before marrying. To ensure that you are both on the same page. Religion is very important and so it seems to your fiancee. Diana hit it right on the head, there will come a day that you will bring children into this world, and how you both want to raise them is very important.

You will be meeting with the preacher and I don't know why you feel that you will be embarassing her or yourself. All I can add to this is that you should not feel this way, no one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable. The preacher is there to listen not ridicule. This is the woman whom you love and will be spending the rest of your life with. She should not doubt your beliefs or force hers upon you. Best to iron it out now, she seems to have different expectations.

This is a personal feeling we all have with our relationships with God and our marriage. How everyone chooses to bring God into their marriage is of their beliefs. No one can answer the last question for you. I hope I made some sense, good luck to you.