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Old 11-16-2007, 09:43 AM   #1
Oregon Elephant
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How do you know when you are ready?

My wife and I are 20 years old, but we act a lot older (in most cases) then our other, still-single 20 year old friends. While they like to go out and "enjoy" life, we like to spend time with each other and, in many cases, just sit in each others arms while watching TV. I don't think that we are ready of a "little bundle of joy," but it got me to thinking, how will I know when we are ready? I don't know what it is about our lives that makes me think that we aren't ready, so I don't know what it will be when we are.
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Old 11-17-2007, 08:06 AM   #2
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We will all have different opinions about that one. My experience has been that waiting until you have a very decent saving account is important as you don't know whether your child(ren) will have special needs and that will impact the ability to have two incomes in your home. The friendship we shared was very strong because we had taken some years to build shared experiences and shared problem solving. We had already been tested by life and survived well as a couple, so when our son was born and needed 24 hours a day from me for years, we stayed together, didn't fight over any of it, and loved each other through it all. Our son is 18 now so we're doing very well! So make a plan for where you need to be to handle the stress and then make the plan happen.
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Old 11-17-2007, 10:25 AM   #3
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I've got 3 grown children and 2 grand children. My best advice would be to wait until you're at least 25... and then start thinking about having kids. Once they're here, there's no going back, and they do become the center of your universe.

Enjoy each other and your freedom to just do what you can to prepare financially, get your education out of the way, and be certain you are as settled in your home, jobs and relationship as you can be before upsetting the whole balance by bringing in a baby.

Babies are wonderful, but they do change the whole dynamic and structure of your life and relationship. Even just sitting on the couch cuddling gets interrupted when a baby needs fed, changed, or entertained.
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Old 11-19-2007, 10:58 AM   #4
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Enjoy just holding each other for now, get what needs to be done finished, like school, finding careers you love, putting away some money, maybe even buying a house. Most importantly though, enjoy each other and get to really know each other.

You'll know when you're ready. It just comes to be time.

Enjoy every day of your lives together, even the bad days.
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Old 11-20-2007, 07:07 AM   #5
scoob
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boy i dont know, i had my kids at a really young age it was hard, but now we are young enough to still have fun and the money to do it.
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