Dad's Back

[2tiredmom]

Last summer my dad spent 3 months with me and my family because he had shoulder replacement surgery. Just this past Saturday my husband and daughter and i drove to Louisville Ky. to take in the farm show. It's a 5 hour drive from where we live. In the process my dad called and was having problems and he wanted us to drop everything and help him. He is 78 years old lives alone and constantly feels sorry for himself. My youngest brother lives close by but he was out of town too. Last week he took two days worth of his meds. He was so mixed up. Tomorrow is him and my moms anniversary. She died 2 years ago in March. Any way. I love my dad but some days he can be so >>>>>>>>>>.\

So we left the farm show and drove to his house. He was on the couch yelling at my brother and the minute i walked in he quit. Then my brother got upset.
Then dad told me to get out of his house. THat really got me. Finally we got him calmed down and told him he was coming home with us of a couple of weeks so he wouldn't be alone. Sorry to go on. But I just can't handle keeping this all bottled up inside. My husband is a ROCK for me. He has stood by me though all of this. If it weren't for him. I'd be nuts by now. BUt I can't share everything I feel with him either. Thanks for letting me go on. I may be back.

[Tiramisu]

I'm going through similar times with my Mom. She won't eat right and insists on living alone. Then not eating right seems to make her mind really wonder away with some vivid hallucinations. My worst part is feeling so angry, but not knowing who or what to be angry about. This is life and we should turn it over to God and then just deal with it the best we can.

Hang in there and vent when needed.

[DianaB]

Dealing with parents can be so demanding and I'm sorry that you're going through this. I can certainly relate because of the problems that I had with my Dad and, like you, my husband was my rock. He dealt with my Dad when he knew that I couldn't handle much more. You're more than welcome to come here and vent because we do understand. We might not have the right answers for you but we do understand.

[2tiredmom]

Thanks. Today is one of his good days so far. My dad and I have never been close. I took him in town so he could get his hair cut. I think most of the problem is not being able to get outside and go.
Thanks so much for the replies and the encouragement.

[Ponyup]

My grandpa got really despressed after his stroke. He was always a farming man, very strong, independent & when he had to depend on others it just killed him. I think your dad is also going through some mental problems on top of this. It is very hard to give up a life you knew for some many years. I know dealing with them is not easy. But they need us now. You are in my thoughts & prayers that he allows you to help.

[judy]

It is so hard when you have to become your parent's caretaker. You're a good daughter to take him in even though you're not close. You will never have any regrets!

Bless your heart and come here to vent anytime.

[Janet]

Linda, I'm sorry you're going through this. As you can see from everyone's posts, you are not alone and there is a lot of understanding here. I, too am going through this with my Mom. It can be so frustrating. One thing I make sure I do is 'take a break.' It can get overwhelming at times, but come here and vent all you need. We're here for you.

[Marilyn]

You are getting some good advice and understanding. My mom had Alzheimers and it was so hard. My husband was my rock also. He was so good and so patient. He never complained about the time I had to spend helping her. When your father gets angry with you, know that it's not his true nature. It's the deteriation of age talking. It must be so frustrating to him to know he is declining. I know it was for Mother when she would have a lucid day and realize what was going on. It's a very frightening time for them and for you. You are in my prayers.

[2tiredmom]

Thank you all so much. I'm just grateful I can have him come up here and stay.
Thanks again. I know I sometimes sound like a broken record. You ladies are the greatest............