Direction Please

I have a 15 yr old daughter.She keeps sneeking out at nite. She is in counseling.Her counselor said to set my alarm and get up at nite to check on her .The other nite i did that and she was aready gone.The police also have been called and there have been reports made.Nothing i do is working.Im at a loss on what to do anymore.

can you sleep with her? I would keep her in counseling, and try that. Kudos to you for trying.

[Ponyup]

Where is her bedroom? When I was a kid my room was upstairs right above my parents. If I got up in the night they would hear me walk around. Can i ask why she's sneaking out, is it to meet friends, a boy? I think in order to stop her you have to come up with a way to catch her in the act & a punishment that makes her think twice about doing it. Right now it seems like she feels there are no consequences for her actions.

Her bedroom is above mine.Ido here her alot of the time getting up,i guess sometimes not.Meeting a boy.I have tried many thing cell phone is gone now,no time on the computer,no phone time ,no friends over .Just at my wits end

I was making her sleep with me .The counselor said to make her sleep in her own bed and check on her.

[Tink]

Have you talked to the boy or his parents? I would... so what if it embarrasses her... I bet she wouldn't easily forget it!

[Janet]

I would check with family services and maybe there is a place that can help you. Some work as 'outpatient' and others have the kids stay with them for a period of time. Worth checking into.

[DianaB]

I wish that I had a magic answer for you, but sadly I don't. We don't have enough information to even begin to answer your question about what to do to help your daughter. The trust between the two of you has disappeared and as a parent, I know, that it's really hard to get that trust back.

At this point communication is what is important. You need to point out to her that ultimately she is responsible for her own life and making her own decisions. Point out that the decisions that she makes may affect her for the rest of her life, such as pregnancy and aids. Tell her as a parent you're trying to do your best even though she may not realize it and you want her to have a happy childhood and future life because you love her and only want what's best for her.

I have kids from ages 33 to 15 so I've dealt with teenage problems. I never had one sneak out in the night because I would have beat them within an inch of their lives. I was one very strict mother! Be firm and be loving! Keep us posted.

i have spoken to his parents and they said if my daughter would leave him alone and stop calling him there would'nt be a problem. guess i'm not going to get much of anything out of them

[Tink]

I'm sorry his family isn't more help.

The bad thing about inviting social services into your life is that once they're IN, you're stuck with them. Out of desperation I tried that with one of mine and ended up regretting it majorly. So quite seriously I'd save that as a last resort... in our case they did more damage than good.

thank you so much for replying to me.the comments are great.i'm trying to do all i can to stop her from doing this.as one lady said she would have beat them with an inch of their life. thats one thing i won't do.so far i have done other things as i said in comments. i tell her that i love her and i want her to help me understand why she is doing this and hope there is something we can do to make changes together

they make alarms you can put on the door. you might try that. However, irregardless of what the counselor said, I think I would put her on a pallet in my room until she grows up some. She may hate you for it, but she'll get over it. and truly even if she dont, as long as she is safe....
kids are like dogs, they need boundaries.
Are you married? Perhaps the dad and you can take turns sitting outside her room. I hope you come up with a plan!

[pearl]

i don't have any answers. just keep in counseling and do what you are doing. hormones and rebellion overtake them.
i would get her on birth control if possible. she may not be reliable taking the pill, but maybe the shot. it may sound like permission, but i believe it's protection at this stage.
some day she may wake up and take a better path.
you must be sleep deprived too!!!
i have been in the past on a "parents of teens" forum through ivillage.com. many many moms on there, they may have advice too!

[pearl]

that pallet idea is a good one! but make her sleep on it...LOL

Originally Posted by pearl

that pallet idea is a good one! but make her sleep on it...LOL

My thought EXACTLY!!!