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Old 09-20-2006, 06:39 AM   #1
Janet
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If you have sons!!!

For those of you who have sons & those of you who are happy that you don't

And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4
inches deep.


2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite.


3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.


4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman
cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint
can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.


5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan an is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.


6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a
ceiling fan.


7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too
late.


8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.


9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.


10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old
Boy.


11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.


12.) Super glue is forever.


13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
walk on water.


14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.


15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show
they do.


16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.


17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.


18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.


19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like
ovens.


20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.


21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.


22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.


23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.


24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or
without kids.


25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
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Old 09-20-2006, 06:41 AM   #2
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Oh GEEZ!!!!!!!! I beginning to feel happy that I grew up in a house full of girls!!!!! My poor dad has a wife, 3 daughters, and between all of us 4 yorkies!!!!!!! He never stood a chance!
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Old 09-20-2006, 06:55 AM   #3
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16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

Me & my girl cousin tried this. Take my word for it they do not make good parachutes.
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Old 09-20-2006, 06:56 AM   #4
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5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan an is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

I've done this one as an adult with my dogs squeakie ball. Hasn't broken anything yet, but really pisses my husband off.
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Old 09-20-2006, 07:12 AM   #5
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You guys are so funny. I've gotten things caught in the ceiling fan, but have never thrown anything into it on purpose. I do enough goofey things without doing them on purpose!!!
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Old 09-20-2006, 07:19 AM   #6
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That's too funny! I have a fear that I will end up having 4 boys when I decide to have children! I wouldn't be able to handle that, and I commend those of you who do!
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Old 09-20-2006, 07:33 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ponyup
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

Me & my girl cousin tried this. Take my word for it they do not make good parachutes.
LMAO!!
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Old 09-20-2006, 07:34 AM   #8
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These are great! I have two sons, whew!
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Old 09-20-2006, 07:35 AM   #9
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ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So THIS is what I have to look forward to!!!!!
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Old 09-20-2006, 07:37 AM   #10
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And a baseball bat is a great way to remove a loose tooth! Just ask my 16 year old. His brother, who's 13 now, hit him in the mouth several years ago and knocked out a loose baby tooth. It was purely accidental but you would've thought the world ended!! Couldn't find the tooth in the front yard and he was afraid the Tooth Fairy would not stop by as he didn't have the tooth. Have no fear, she did come by, left money, and found the tooth in the front yard And that's my story and I'm sticking to it!!!
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Old 09-20-2006, 07:56 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by magnolia
And a baseball bat is a great way to remove a loose tooth! Just ask my 16 year old. His brother, who's 13 now, hit him in the mouth several years ago and knocked out a loose baby tooth. It was purely accidental but you would've thought the world ended!! Couldn't find the tooth in the front yard and he was afraid the Tooth Fairy would not stop by as he didn't have the tooth. Have no fear, she did come by, left money, and found the tooth in the front yard And that's my story and I'm sticking to it!!!
My brother hit me in the face with the baseball bat & broke my nose. I didn't get any money from the tooth fairy, but 10 years later I did get a nose job.
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Old 09-20-2006, 08:25 AM   #12
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OMG i have 2 boys and this is so funny i also have a cousin who when he was 5 lit the house on fire i will tel you these are so true lol! Thanks for sharing i really enjoyed them!
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Old 09-20-2006, 08:31 AM   #13
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LOL! I enjoyed reading this
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Old 09-20-2006, 09:15 AM   #14
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And...guns make sisters move outta the way. My brother and I being younger lived out in the country. We were outside and he had his BB gun with him. I guess I was in his way and he told me to move. Being the stubborn ass I still am today said "no". Well, he shot me in the back. Jerk!!
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Old 09-20-2006, 10:21 AM   #15
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I have a son and a daughter who is almost 2 years younger than he is. He thought up the schemes and coerced her into doing them! We lived in the country, so they were together 24/7 with no other playmates near, so had LOTS of time to get into trouble.

They did wonderful things like find a can of lime green enamel paint my Dad had dropped off when we weren't home (so I didn't know it was sitting available to them) and use it to paint the wheel wells of my silver car. Pine boughs were their paint brushes, so they did a LOVELY job.

I've often heard that with boys you get motion and with girls you get Emotion. When you have both you end up gray and half bald.
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