In the beginning

[Tink]

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the
Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red
vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and
Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man
said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some
sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.


And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that
Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and
sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size
14.


So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island
Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman
unfastened their belts following the repast.


God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in
which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more
weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.


God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and
said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's
Food."


God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those
extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not
have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried
before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.


Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with
nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy
center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.


God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still
satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double
cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And M an replied, "Yes!
And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into
cardiac arrest.


God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs.

[katcarasella]

Too funny, where do you find this stuff Tink? lol

[Janet]

Tink.....this is a good one....LOL

[DianaB]

I've seen this one before but it's always nice to read them again!!!

[Marilyn]

Good one, Tink!! I hadn't seen it before, or if I did, can't remember...

[Dobie]

I believe you are COMPLETELY wrong on one point!!

Ben and Jerry's ice cream is made my little cherub angels - not the devil. I know this because everytime I take a bite of it, I experience my own little piece of heaven.

[Emmsmom]

That is very funny and yet so true! lol

[NicoleMarcelle]

Originally Posted by Dobie

I believe you are COMPLETELY wrong on one point!!

Ben and Jerry's ice cream is made my little cherub angels - not the devil. I know this because everytime I take a bite of it, I experience my own little piece of heaven.

i agree...there's no way 2 of my favorite men came from satan!!!

Tink, thanks for the laugh...i love reading your posts!