I'm just so tired.....
 

Lately, I'm just soooo tired. There is nothing physically wrong with me. It's just that I'm tired. Tired of working so much, tired of the day to day. Laundry never ends. Cleaning & cooking never ends. I have to go to Corpus Christi for a meeting this morning. Zoe has had trouble with her ears for 6 months now, and three vets say she's fine. She's in my lap shaking her head right now because her ears bother her. I get so tired of giving her benedryl every evening and ear drops. I get to bed a realize I forgot and have to get back up. Sorry for complaining, but I'm tired of everything. Seems like everyone around me wants a piece of me. Marilyn I need you to help me with this. Would you do this for us. We need help, and you're so talented in this way. Please, isn't anyone else capable???

The American Cancer Society called a couple of nights ago asking me to send some fundraiser to 10 of my neighbors. I told them no, I can't, and the guy said we need your help. I told him EVERYONE needs my help. I'm strung out from helping people, and hung up on him.

Seems that everyone around me is relaxing watching TV, playing games, staying home with their baby, going to a trip somewhere. A dear friend called me yesterday and she is so envious of me. Of Me!! She want's a normal life again. The past two or so years she's been home, either pregnant or taking care of her little girl who will be 1 in August. I envy her. She gets to be home all day with her little girl. Go shopping when she wants, watch TV when she wants, work on crafts or whatever. I have NO time for myself. I still have a spa day my girls gave me. The gift card is two year old & I haven't found a free Saturday to go. Rex says I should go during the week but that means burning a vacation day.

I'm just having trouble right now finding the joy. I want to go on a vacation, but only have two vacation days left for the rest of the year.

I wanted to retire in a couple of years, but that dream is history now.

Please pray that I can find some joy.

Marilyn, I will be praying for you. Joy comes from inside, as you know. You won't have a hard time finding it since you already have so much faith.

God is right there. Just give him all of your unhappiness, and surrender to him.
He will take you to joy.

Marilyn, I'm right there beside you! I'll meet in half way and we can have a pity party! We just have to keep going through the strokes and know that we will be rewarded. I was supposed to have retired in February and that date has slipped off the calendar totally now. I have been so "tired of" lately that I've thought of finding homes for my doggies, leaving my husband, moving away from my kids, etc. I'm being careful what I ask for, but I need some alone time. Add in there that my daughter and 4 kiddos are staying with us while her husband's in Iraq!

And, next Wednesday will be a year ago that my Mom died and I'm "tired of" the hurt.

Marilyn, I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. I know that one of the first things I do when I feel like you is I start saying NO. Don't add any more to what you already have to do and even see if you can cut some stuff out. Try to find a little bit of time for yourself and just relax. Don't feel guilty about taking the time for yourself either, because you deserve it. Good luck!

I have a picture that says " Stress happens when your heart says NO and your mouth says OF COURSE, I'D BE GLAD TO"

Put the oxygen mask on YOURSELF first, ladies. Take a long, deep breath...then tell everybody to go jump in the lake:bravo:

This stupid, burning Texas heat doesn't help, either:rolleyes:

Diana's right Marilyn.....don't feel guilty for saying NO and wanting to take time for yourself.

Thank you all!! I know that life isn't supposed to be easy. If it was, we wouldn't yearn for something better. Christians are supposed to be happy people. We're supposed to cast our cares on Him for He cares for us. I know. I can quote scripture and verse, lots of them, and I've taught them to others. But it's still just hard sometimes. You all have been through this at times. It is helping to share with you all, and I do believe I can feel your prayers.

Sandy, I'm going to Houston tomorrow. I'd ask if you had time for lunch, but an hour wouldn't be nearly enough time, and I have to hurry back to work. There are some critical things happening tomorrow afternoon, so will probably grab a snack on the road. You have more to bear with your daughter and grandchildren there for so long than I do, but I too have thought of just getting away.

My husband told me yesterday that I'm not fun to be around right now. I told him I'd be happy, and he said not to do it for him, to do it for me. Just have to shift my attitude. I know it's all up to me to do what I know to do. Today has been a bit better. Maybe tomorrow will be a good day.

Oh, and someone mentioned the heat. I know that has to be part of the problem. It's not supposed to be like this in June/July. Generally we have about 3 weeks or so of this later in the summer. It's been really, really hot here lately. Heat index's of 110+. It's sooo draining, even with the ac on. In my job, I'm in and out of a hot truck.

Chin up!!! Gotta cheer up!!

Happy Wednesday, Marilyn!

Marilyn....as you well know...sometimes we all go through a bit of depression. Maybe you should have a good check up with your family Dr. to rule out any problems with your health and then tell him how you're feeling. I hope you feel better and happier soon.

On thing that has been depressing me is my left hand. I knew something was wrong with it a couple of weeks after the surgery. I kept putting ice on it, but it's still swelling some and I can't bend my wrist like I should. Yesterday, I went to Houston for a followup checkup, and I do have swelling in the wrist joint. They called it edema. I have to take steroids for a week and get some physical therapy. Now that I know what's wrong, and we have a plan of action, I do feel better.

Also, hubby went with me yesterday, so we got to spend some time together and did a lot of talking. I do feel some better now. I had blood work an ekg and such at the end of May and checked out healthy, so I know it's just stress from a lot of things. Just trying to get things done and get through this. I just feel like there's never any time to just chill.

I'm trying to get everyone to go tubing on the river the first weekend in August, but I seem to be the only one excited about doing it, and that in itself is depressing. We always have so much fun, and I don't see why everyone else isn't excited at the idea. Oh, well, this too will pass.....

I feel like a big baby. Just have to get over this and move on!!!

Have you thought about keeping a journal, Marilyn? Sometimes it is very helpful t write down your feelings.

I'm not a great believer in just "getting over it" for myself. I need to "go through it before I can get through it." I need to feel whatever I feel and work it all out.

I'm also a great believer in saying no. I do not allow stress in my life it possible.
Of course, when I was a young woman, I did as much as I could do in one day, and then began it all over again the next day. When I felt worn out though, all I got was feeling worn out. I didn't get kudos for all of my effort. A lot of what I did was for myself, and that felt great, but I cut back on doing so much for others.

I'm not selfish. I just take very good care of myself.

Good advice in many of the posts. I hope you start feeling better soon Marilyn.

Marilyn......are you feeling any better?

The past two or so years she's been home, either pregnant or taking care of her little girl who will be 1 in August. I envy her. She gets to be home all day with her little girl. Go shopping when she wants, watch TV when she wants, work on crafts or whatever.

Maryilyn, you envy this woman! oh my, when i was home with Micah on maternity leave i don't remember having time to go shopping, watch tv or work on crafts! Micah was up every 4 hours! when he slept i either slept or was washing tons of baby clothes or cleaning the house.. when you talk to her again please let me know her secret.. LOL... anyways i do hope you are feeling better today. as everyone already told you, you really need to learn to say NO to some of these people that are pulling you in so many directions.. you need some Maryilyn time!!!

I'm feeling a bit better. And yes, I have great envy for anyone who is able to afford the luxury of staying home with their children. I was never able to do so. As soon as the doctor said I was well enough to return, it was back to work. Since graduating from high school, I've either been going to college or working all but 6 months of the time. When in college, I went straight through, summers and all. I was off for maternity leave and right back to work. When I was dealing with my mother and her alzheimers, going to doctors and in the nursing home, I was working fulltime and raising two little girls with a husband who was also working more than 40 hours. Mother became ill in 1995 and passed away in 2000. In 1995 my oldest was 10 and youngest was 8.

So after all of this, I'm a bit bitter when I hear women who do not work outside the home complaining about all they have to do. I wanted so badly to be home with our children, but we never could afford for me to do so. Now we can't afford for me to retire. It never ends!!!

Work all your life for what??? I can cry real easily thinking of all the things that I missed out on. People say we have choices in life. Well mine were made for me.

You hit a cord. Just had to vent!!

Marilyn....in some way....I think I understand. If I could go back and change some things...I would. In my case...I was easily manipulated and decisions were made for me too. I'm so angry at times that I didn't do what I wanted to do instead of what was thought best without me really having a vote.

I hope you can come to terms with the past and know that we all have regrets, some big, some small. If I let myself dwell on it....it's horrible. So, it's something that I pack away. We can't go back...so I try hard to leave it in the past.

For us, Marilyn, the choice of me staying home with the kids was not a luxury. It was something that my husband and I felt strong enough about that we were willing to for-go the extras that would have been available had I worked. I know that it appears that we are well off but we used to live in an old house that went with our farm with a trailer house attached to have enough room and bathrooms for the kids. I always drove older vehicles because we just didn't have the money for newer.

We all made choices that we've had to deal with. I wish that I had gone to college and done something in that direction. I like to think that I'm pretty knowledgable and I would have enjoyed doing something with that knowledge, but at the time I was raising kids and helping my husband.

Marilyn, We all have things in our past that we'd like to change but you did what you thought was best at the time and if you were back in that situation again you'd probably make the same decisions. See what you can do now to cut back on work and find some time for yourself. I think that you're needing some Marilyn time.

Marilyn, I envy people who can stay home with their kiddos, but can say that mine turned out ok, with working parents, and it sounds like yours did too. Ya gotta wonder if some kiddos are better off with their parents working and being cared for by others! I agree with your vent.

I think we all have regrets in one way or another. I chose to stay home with Jessie until she was 4 when I went back to college. I did work part time when she was a baby, but I was home with her most of the time. Of course, I didn't have 2 nickels to put together to make a dime, but that was my choice.

College was also my choice, as was graduate school. I regret being in school and working in the lab for my doctorate too much. I wanted to spend more time with Jessie, and finally left grad school with a Master's Degree when she was around 8 or 9 years old. I loved being home for her. I never worked full time until I began to work for the school system.

But, I had no money! Jessie regrets that. I don't.

I do regret not doing something more with science. I thought about becoming a chiropractor because you can work at home, and make good money. I really can't complain about having been a teacher because now I get a nice pension,but I really didn't use my love of science as much as I would have liked.

You really can't get away without some regrets I think. You have lovely girls, and a good marriage, so even though you might have wanted it to be different, you have done a great job!

i know what you mean Marilyn, i cried for days when i came back to work, leaving my child with a stanger, called her 6 times a day! I hated going back to work, back was cracking up stuck at home all day also.. we also can't live on one income, and i guess i took it the wrong way that you enveyed her, i have to work we have bills and with a child it just got more expensive.. i too wish i could stay home, but i can't.. but that's the choice i made also.. hang in there, it will get better, i also will be one of those people that work til the day i die. my retirement is gone thanks to the ecomomy so i'm working to try and rebuild it going to be harder now since my company not matching my 401k, i have to look for another investment sometime in the near furture..

I feel guilty for venting. I know we all have some regrets and whatever choices we made, there are some we would change given the opportunity. My life is really very good. Just resent working so much when so many of my friends don't work outside the home and don't realize what a blessing that is. Hopefully I can eventually retire, and hopefully I'll still be healthy enough to do some of the things I dream of doing.

We're going to sell our home and find an older home with lower taxes to try to get into a better position. Our home is paid for, but the property taxes have gotten way out of hand. We can buy an older home, remodel and cut our taxes in half. We still have savings, and our financial guy is playing with our money a bit and has regained a little of our losses from the market drops.

Just have to get my chin up and put a smile on the old face. In spite of the dought, heat, economy, my stiff sore hand and all the other details of life. God is good and life is good!!!

PS. Thank you for sharing some of your pasts. Maybe this thread has been a bit thereputic. Love you all!!!

So now you are regretting talking about your regrets?

Marilyn, if you can't share with us, then who can you vent with?
Cutting down on your taxes sounds like a very good idea! That's a huge expense.
Now that the children are out, you can live anywhere you want.

I think it was theraputic too. We all have regrets, wishes and dreams. I'm just glad we can share them all together.

We haven't paid our property taxes yet. Our county and a few others in the state are having a hard time getting the bills out. I have the money saved back, but I'm not giving it to them until they send our tax statement. They need to start running this county like a business and get their jobs done.

Property taxes are high everywhere I think. I will be good to get them lowered. Judy's right....now you can live anywhere you want.

they just reasset my house i am so mad, the old assement was 48,700 and the new one is 84,700, now how the heck could it go that high? like i said before here comes the taxes, i wanted to fight it, but with all the rules it wasn't worth the time or the money i guess...

Haley, we had a big jump, too, nothing like your's though. We tried to fight it and got nowhere, however, I really think something is wrong with yours. That is just too much of a jump. It would definitely be worth meeting with your appraiser and trying to fight it. I think you would get it lowered a bit if you do. Our next door neighbor got his lowered. He was very persistent and wouldn't leave the appraisers office until his was lowered. Maybe hubby and I were just too nice.

Wish you well!!!

I waited to long Marilyn the deadline was july 31 st, they appraised it by the sell of the homes around my area, i got the house from an estate sale i know the house was low when i got it even the attorney said he should have jacked up the price, its just such a hassel, i would have to get an attorney and get the house reappraised, and go to a hearing, i just wish i had the time, been running my butt off now - just never get a break... so i just said the hell with it.. don't plan on living there the rest of my life anyways.. still looking for a house and another job,, its just getting to much for me.. :(

We used a company that does all the work for you. If they get your appraisal lowered, you pay them some percentage of the lowered amount. Ours was lowered around $13,000 and we paid $172. I'm not sure how much we saved in actual taxes and how long it will take to re-coop the fee, but Harold said it was well worth it.

Haley, Marilyn we are fighting our new assessements tomorrow. I will let you know how we make out. These taxes in NJ are getting out of hand. People are leaving this state and its a shame. Its really a beautiful place to live and raise kids.


Back to Marilyn, its ok to vent we all need a place to come and get away from our daily lives. I hope by you selling your home you will be able to enjoy and not work so hard. I was lucky to stay home with my kids when they were young, yes I did sacrifice a lot , vacations, dinners out etc. but it was worth staying home and being a PTA mom.. dance committee etc.. I don't regret it. I am back to work now you need two salaries to survive.

Gina let me know how it went, do you have an attorney? or did you need to get your house reapraised?

When we fought our appraisal, unsuccessfully as previously stated, we did lots of research on the appraisal website checking out the appraisals of comparable homes. We also worked with a realtor we know who pulled all the multiple listed homes in our area that sold within the last 6 months. We talked with an appraiser who stated that values have dropped 25 or so percent in the past few months in our area. We walked in with spreadsheets all prepared & the first thing our appraisor did before we went before the board was to pull us into his office to try to settle before we went to the board. He had us lay our cards on the table then asked us to leave and wait in the lobby and we could go before the board in about 15 minutes. He had us show our hand and then he spent 15 minutes preparing his defense with the county computer system there all loaded with all the information he needed to build a case to match our appraisal using other homes that were appraised too high, and showing that ours was right in the middle. The he pulled out his hidden ace. Our home is classified as brick, and it's stone, so they said they could raise our appraisal $30,000 if they wanted to. They won't this year, but said that next year it will go up that much plus more to compensate for appreciation and the stone. That's why we are selling. This is crazy. We finally have our dream home paid for, and we are selling it because the taxes are just more than we want to pay. We can buy an older home of about the same size, do some remodeling and take a very nice vacation each year with the tax savings.

Gina, since you are a realtor, you probably know all the ins and outs. Wish you the best tomorrow!!!!!

i know it is crazy mariyln, but like i said before here comes the taxes, someone needs to repay the debt that we are in, plus on top of this i have sewage coming thru my area within the next year, this is why i want to move also, i can get a bigger house with less taxes out in the country by my sisters house, so here i am still looking i found a really nice one i want mike to look at this weekend.. but who knows now they might be raising taxes there also... just can't win,,, but my house needs to much work done to it.. i need to get out..