[Janet]

I started dating my husband when he was 19 and I was 16. We married 3 years later...a little young for me, I think. We didn't really discuss things like finances. I didn't realize my soon to be husband was such a money freak. My Mom handled the finances and I just assumed it was the wife's responsibility.

I can remember when I worked in a store after we were married, I would put a $10.00 purse in lay-away. He only gave me so much money a week and that was it. All of this should have been discussed, but we didn't for some reason. I don't know why, maybe because we were so young.

We separated for a few months and when I came back, I came back older and wiser and now I handle all the finances, but unlike he did, I keep him informed very clearly what is coming due and what is in our checking and savings.

He is still a money freak and will put money back so he can have his own little stash. Don't know where it comes from, but as long as I can pay the bills and have money in the bank, I guess it's okay.

There are so many things we didn't discuss before marrying and I really think, if we had, we wouldn't have married....or at least we would have waited much longer. Who knows what would have happened. I just always encourage those getting married to get pre-marital counceling or at least make sure they talk about everything.

My niece is getting married and won't do counceling. She is very VERY heavy and I think she is afraid things will come out and he will leave..(knowing what I know about her, I would) and she wouldn't be able to find someone else. I know, after many times together with them...this marriage will not last.