Marriage Counseling?

[Janet]

I started dating my husband when he was 19 and I was 16. We married 3 years later...a little young for me, I think. We didn't really discuss things like finances. I didn't realize my soon to be husband was such a money freak. My Mom handled the finances and I just assumed it was the wife's responsibility.

I can remember when I worked in a store after we were married, I would put a $10.00 purse in lay-away. He only gave me so much money a week and that was it. All of this should have been discussed, but we didn't for some reason. I don't know why, maybe because we were so young.

We separated for a few months and when I came back, I came back older and wiser and now I handle all the finances, but unlike he did, I keep him informed very clearly what is coming due and what is in our checking and savings.

He is still a money freak and will put money back so he can have his own little stash. Don't know where it comes from, but as long as I can pay the bills and have money in the bank, I guess it's okay.

There are so many things we didn't discuss before marrying and I really think, if we had, we wouldn't have married....or at least we would have waited much longer. Who knows what would have happened. I just always encourage those getting married to get pre-marital counceling or at least make sure they talk about everything.

My niece is getting married and won't do counceling. She is very VERY heavy and I think she is afraid things will come out and he will leave..(knowing what I know about her, I would) and she wouldn't be able to find someone else. I know, after many times together with them...this marriage will not last.

[Chandra Amaya]

We did attend martial counseling. It was by a wonderful man who was going to perform our big ceremony for us. We became very close to him. He felt like a grandfather & guiding light to us both. He said that he felt very close to us as well because his son had been murdered just before meeting us. He had lost touch with his spirituality and we gave him a reason to find it again. This is one reason we have trouble bringing ourselves to have our big ceremony. We lost Dillard in August of 04. He was a wonderful man who held on to life long enough to get his son's autospy report & give him a proper burial. 3 weeks after doing so Dilly passed away. He had a shop in a city near us. When you walk into it you can still feel his presence. We still keep in touch with his wife who is a wonderful lady. She sent our daughter a ring when she was born & said it was a gift from her & Dilly. We haven't made it out to see her in a couple of months. I'm glad I saw this thread. I am now making plans to go for a visit next week.

[Lissa]

I'm not getting married without premarital councelling. I'm a stickler about certain things, he's gotta be a Christian, he's gotta talk to my dad before he asks me to marry him, he's gotta be able to pay the bills while I'm in school if I get married before I graduate, he's gotta be honest and not keep important things from me, and he's gotta agree to premarital counceling.

I may not have known the guy I'm with right now for a long time, but we agreed in the beginning to be completely honest with eachother and I know I've got a really good grasp as to who he is, but I think councelling would be imperative cause if we get married I know there are some things that we're not going to think about discussing.

Not to mention I think it would help with those prewedding jitters because you'll have a good idea of how your future may be like. If you don't feel like you should marry them after you've had counceling, then don't. Like the others said, I think that it would stop alot of couples from jumping into marriage if they went through premarital councelling.

[Janet]

I think you have a proud mother, Lissa.

[Lissa]

I am the way I am because of her, she raised me well

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by Lissa

I am the way I am because of her, she raised me well

Aww, how sweet!