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09-06-2006, 01:21 PM

It's very hard. After several years of disconnect and distance I told my husband that although we love each other I didn't feel we were in love with each other and I wanted to go to counseling. There were a lot of issues that led to this, but short story is he chose the divorce instead. I was devasted. It was a 15 year marriage and we have been together 17 years since I was 16. He was all I had even known. I didn't know what to do. I had all the same feelings as your daughter and had for some years. I packed my kids and moved home for a year. I let my folks take care of me. My mistake was I kinda withdrew and avoidance. I knew my kids were good and I tended to go for a beer afterwork, etc. I knew my kids were good with my folks so I just let them take over. My mistake, I feel now like I abandoned them. Short story again, after licking my wounds and realizing only I can make or break my life and my happiness I stepped up. Got an apartment and started taking care of my girls, because no one else was going to.
It was hard, I won't lie. I was used to doing most everything myself during the marriage but I always knew that someone else was there.

Today, I get a little stressed still because I have my kids 350 days a year 24/7 and he only lives less then 20 minutes away.

I'm sorry for your daughter but she needs to take her time to grieve and lick her wounds and then realize it's his issue and not hers. There is nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with her. Any shmo who emails their wife of many years has a problem. She needs to get herself an attorney, get things squared away and take care of her little boy. After time she may even begin to realize she is better off. I did. My divorce was the best thing for me and my kids. I didn't realize until after I moved how much it really had affected my health and my kids. I didn't think the kids knew the troubles. However, they bloomed after the move. Grades improved, their dispositions improved, they made friends. It was amazing.

Tell her to hang in there and if she needs support we are here for her anytime.

Best wishes.

09-06-2006, 01:21 PM	#13
Chimchim Guest Posts: n/a	It's very hard. After several years of disconnect and distance I told my husband that although we love each other I didn't feel we were in love with each other and I wanted to go to counseling. There were a lot of issues that led to this, but short story is he chose the divorce instead. I was devasted. It was a 15 year marriage and we have been together 17 years since I was 16. He was all I had even known. I didn't know what to do. I had all the same feelings as your daughter and had for some years. I packed my kids and moved home for a year. I let my folks take care of me. My mistake was I kinda withdrew and avoidance. I knew my kids were good and I tended to go for a beer afterwork, etc. I knew my kids were good with my folks so I just let them take over. My mistake, I feel now like I abandoned them. Short story again, after licking my wounds and realizing only I can make or break my life and my happiness I stepped up. Got an apartment and started taking care of my girls, because no one else was going to. It was hard, I won't lie. I was used to doing most everything myself during the marriage but I always knew that someone else was there. Today, I get a little stressed still because I have my kids 350 days a year 24/7 and he only lives less then 20 minutes away. I'm sorry for your daughter but she needs to take her time to grieve and lick her wounds and then realize it's his issue and not hers. There is nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with her. Any shmo who emails their wife of many years has a problem. She needs to get herself an attorney, get things squared away and take care of her little boy. After time she may even begin to realize she is better off. I did. My divorce was the best thing for me and my kids. I didn't realize until after I moved how much it really had affected my health and my kids. I didn't think the kids knew the troubles. However, they bloomed after the move. Grades improved, their dispositions improved, they made friends. It was amazing. Tell her to hang in there and if she needs support we are here for her anytime. Best wishes.