Any suggestions for the newly divorced

It's very hard. After several years of disconnect and distance I told my husband that although we love each other I didn't feel we were in love with each other and I wanted to go to counseling. There were a lot of issues that led to this, but short story is he chose the divorce instead. I was devasted. It was a 15 year marriage and we have been together 17 years since I was 16. He was all I had even known. I didn't know what to do. I had all the same feelings as your daughter and had for some years. I packed my kids and moved home for a year. I let my folks take care of me. My mistake was I kinda withdrew and avoidance. I knew my kids were good and I tended to go for a beer afterwork, etc. I knew my kids were good with my folks so I just let them take over. My mistake, I feel now like I abandoned them. Short story again, after licking my wounds and realizing only I can make or break my life and my happiness I stepped up. Got an apartment and started taking care of my girls, because no one else was going to.
It was hard, I won't lie. I was used to doing most everything myself during the marriage but I always knew that someone else was there.

Today, I get a little stressed still because I have my kids 350 days a year 24/7 and he only lives less then 20 minutes away.

I'm sorry for your daughter but she needs to take her time to grieve and lick her wounds and then realize it's his issue and not hers. There is nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with her. Any shmo who emails their wife of many years has a problem. She needs to get herself an attorney, get things squared away and take care of her little boy. After time she may even begin to realize she is better off. I did. My divorce was the best thing for me and my kids. I didn't realize until after I moved how much it really had affected my health and my kids. I didn't think the kids knew the troubles. However, they bloomed after the move. Grades improved, their dispositions improved, they made friends. It was amazing.

Tell her to hang in there and if she needs support we are here for her anytime.

Best wishes.

[Janet]

Time will help along with your support. I know of others going through this and the worst thing for you to do is "put down" your son-in-law. You never know if somehow things will end up with them back together and if he ever found out, it could be rough for your daughter.

[katcarasella]

I have advice for her, tell her to buy some Tide with Bleach and a box of Hefty Bags.

(sorry, I couldn't resist.)

[Janet]

Originally Posted by katcarasella

I have advice for her, tell her to buy some Tide with Bleach and a box of Hefty Bags.

(sorry, I couldn't resist.)

This is an old post, but your response is a good one!!!

[HALEY]

Originally Posted by katcarasella

I have advice for her, tell her to buy some Tide with Bleach and a box of Hefty Bags.

(sorry, I couldn't resist.)

oh Kat that was a good one, have to remember that one... he he

[judy]

Originally Posted by katcarasella

I have advice for her, tell her to buy some Tide with Bleach and a box of Hefty Bags.

(sorry, I couldn't resist.)

I don't get it. Please explain it to me. My brain turned off the day I retired!

[Janet]

Originally Posted by judy

I don't get it. Please explain it to me. My brain turned off the day I retired!

Here ya go Judy...

A letter to Tide detergent

Dear Tide,

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! One evening about a month ago, while at home, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My husband started to berate me about my drinking problem and how expensive the blouse was. Well, one thing lead to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse, as well.

I tried to get the stains out using the bargain brand detergent my cheap husband bought, but they just wouldn't come out. I went to the local convenience store and got a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and all of the stains came out! They came out so well, in fact, that the forensic DNA tests were all negative!

I thank you, once again, for a great product!

Well, gotta go, I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.

Sincerely,

Recently Widowed

[judy]

Originally Posted by Janet

Here ya go Judy...

A letter to Tide detergent

Dear Tide,

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! One evening about a month ago, while at home, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My husband started to berate me about my drinking problem and how expensive the blouse was. Well, one thing lead to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse, as well.

I tried to get the stains out using the bargain brand detergent my cheap husband bought, but they just wouldn't come out. I went to the local convenience store and got a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and all of the stains came out! They came out so well, in fact, that the forensic DNA tests were all negative!

I thank you, once again, for a great product!

Well, gotta go, I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.

Sincerely,

Recently Widowed

That is funny!!! Thanks Janet.

[Janet]

You're welcome!! Wasn't that good? Wish I could have been the one to write that!!...LOL