Quote:
Originally Posted by DianaB
I think that Marilyn has given you some really good advice.
My husband doesn't do hardly anything around the house either, but I refuse to dwell on it. He's a good, hard-working man in every other area. I appreciate his hard work and I don't want or like to be naggy at him when he's home. Our home is a place of refuge that I want him to come to, not be driven away from by my negative words.
I mow the yard everytime it needs mowed. I have a basement that leaks and I've waited and waited for it to be repaired so I finally found something and, hopefully, I have it stopped for awhile. He does help empty the dishwasher some and will do some cleaning to help out, but not very often. My husband has the whole winter to get things done that he can't get done in the summer because he's busy, but nothing gets done. We've lived in our new home now for 9 years and basically I have nothing in the back yard. It's sloped and the dirt is washing away. I have rotten wooden steps from my back door and no patio, nothing. I could go on and on about what doesn't get done because there are many, many things. I try to do the best that I can to keep things up. I get fustrated, very fustrated, but I still appreciate him. I try to look at the positives and there's a lot more positives than negatives. I have a wonderful marriage because I refuse to dwell on the problems.
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Diana, I think those two quotes really sum up what it takes to have a good marriage. I try so hard to be supportive to my husband, and when I put forth that little extra effort, I can see almost immediately that it comes back to me ten times as strong. When he feels loved and uplifted, it's much easier for him to think to do nice things like empty the dishwasher or start a load of laundry or write me a sweet note or plan a surprise. He always finds the sweetest way to thank me when I encourage him and the smile on his face, the light in his eyes when I make him feel loved is priceless!
Haley, my suggestion to you (on top of the many wonderful suggestions you've already received) is to find a new way to show him that you love him. Let him see your effort and let him know that you are doing it because you want HIM to feel loved and special. When he sees your effort and love for him, it might just make him want to try harder to make your marriage work. I think there's an old song that says "love isn't love until you give it away." How true is that!