Funny Quote for the Day.

[katcarasella]

Sunday~May 18th~Quotes

Cute Quotes

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.
- Arnold Glasow

If you can laugh at it, you can live with it.
- Erma Bombeck

The best blush to use is laughter: It put roses in your cheeks and in your soul.
- Linda Knight

Scientists are complaining that the new Dinosaur movie shows dinosaurs with lemurs, who didn’t evolve for another million years. They’re afraid the movie will give kids a mistaken impression. What about the fact that the dinosaurs are singing and dancing?
- Jay Leno

Once you get people laughing, they’re listening and you can tell them almost anything.
- Herbert Gardner

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh - at yourself.
- Ethel Barrymore

[Forgivenmom5]

Good one Kat. I think we all need to laugh more. Of course 4WT helps with that doesn't it?

[katcarasella]

~Monday~May 19th~Quotes~

I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.

I'm impressed, I've never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.

I've come across rotting bodies that are less offensive than you are.

Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.

People would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

She's the first in her family born without tail.

That man is cruelly depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

There are several people in this world that I find unbearably obnoxious, and you are all of them.

What he is lacking in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity.

Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.

What's wrong, don't you get any attention back home?

You are not even beneath my contempt.

You are not obnoxious like so many other people, you are obnoxious in a completely different and far worse way.

You have an inferiority complex and it is fully justified.

You should do some soul-searching. You might just find one.

You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best.

Your mind isn't so much twisted as badly sprained.

You're a habit I'd like to kick - with both feet.

[DianaB]

I really liked the laughter quotes!! Actually they're all good but the laughter ones are the best!!

[katcarasella]

~Tuesday~May 20th~Funny Quotes (for Diana)

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)

Death is hereditary.

There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.

An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

[katcarasella]

Sunday~May 25th~Quotes


"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."
Bob Hope


"A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah."
Ronald Reagan


"I never think of the future - it comes soon enough."
Albert Einstein


"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
Dean Martin


"If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life."
Tommy Lasorda


"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."
Zsa Zsa Gabor


"Ninety percent of the game is half mental."
Jim Wohford


"Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself." - after being told he looked cool.
Yogi Berra


"I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!"
-Homer J. Simpson


"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
Bill Cosby


"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
Albert Einstein

[DianaB]

Kat, you come up with some really good stuff!!! Thanks!!!!