abusive relationship help

hey im a new member.. im a member on YT too but i kinda wanna remain anonymous because hardly anyone knows about this cept for my 2 good friends.. plus i am a bit ashamed but i really need some help and your opinions! i will really try to sum this up as best as i can because i know it might get kind of long.. sorry

ok so i have been in a relationship with my bf for 4.5 years (im 23) and he was my first love.. we basically rushed into it and it was kind of like a love/hate relationship.. he wasnt emotionally abusive but he was very psychologically abusive at first (extreme jealousy, stopped me from seeing my friends, made me cry a lot).. 2 years later he changed a lot for me.. he isnt as jealous as he was before because he really trusts me now and i know he loves me.. but a year ago one day in the car things got really heated.. basically to make a very long story short he broke a very very important promise to me after promising he would never break it in his one hour speech the day before.. i was so hurt i slapped him and first time ever he slapped/hit me back hard.. i was shocked... a few months later, similiar incident happened and i forgave him.. later on we broke up because he found a new crowd of "bad" friends and he treated me extremely bad so yeah.. plus i lost so many friends by then because of him and i just wanted my "life" back.

then a few months later we got back together after being apart for 5-6 months after coincidently seeing each other again.. in those few months i dated other guys just to see what they were like and although they definitely treated me with respect and were nicer, i never stopped thinking about my ex.. and when we got back he really was changed.. he treated me really good and everything was good for the past 6 months..

just a couple days ago we went to his place to watch a movie.. we always bicker but this time he went off on me... it was like really scary.. like the old him came out again i went outside to cool off and he kept screaming at me to come back in.. i ignored him and later he said if i didnt come in he'd call my mom!?!? (wtf!!.. btw my parents both dislike him) he tried to call them to tell them to pick me up maybe to piss me off (hes never done this before.. dont know WHAT HE WAS THINKING) and i grabbed the phone from him and got mad and pushed him telling him to STOP and i dont remember much because it all went by so fast but i think he pushed me really hard back and i fell on my knees and then BOOM he kicked me right on the back and i land on my face... instead of saying sorry he grabs me to get up and get out i know what you guys are thinking he sounds HORRIBLE but i swear (im not in denial) HES NEVER BEEN LIKE THIS SCARY!!! i got so scared of him i ran to the bathroom and locked it and told him to get away from me otherwise im gonna call the police.. he said do it.. i didnt want to so i called his bro and later on he left and his bro came back and drove me home...

i cried so much because that so wasnt him!!! dont know/understand how he could do that when i gave him everything!!! today he came to drop off some of my things and hes been apologizing so much last couple days... and he kept asking if there is any chance at all if we could get back i jokingly said "yeah if u take anger management classes" and he agreed but then i said basically said nvm and to just leave and he left disappointed..

my question is.. do you think he would change if he did take those classes? i really do love him so much and before you judge i just wanted to say i am not one of those typical girls that you read about or see in the movies.. i am NOT insecure, i do have friends, and i am not in denial thinking he loves me when he doesnt because he really does..BUT i come from.. what people call a "very broken family" to say the least.. and hardly anyone understood it except for him.. he knows EVERYTHING and i mean EVERYTHING about my life and family and hes been there through all of it.. none of my friends have done that (they kinda just gave up half way because my family problems are too much to handle i think but i dont blame them) i mean they still are my friends but i mean i just dont talk about it with.. them anymore because i think its too much for them... and hes even been there for me when i was under depression for a couple months ( a LOT of bad family issues) anyway so yeah..

what do you think i should do? i honestly cant even think about starting over.. (when we broke up for 5-6 months it did NOT get easier by any means.. i thought about him every minute even when i was out) and i really dont want to go under depression again.. i dont think i am strong enough to handle it on my own i mean i know deep down that leaving him for good is the right thing to do... find someone who respects me enough never to lay a hand on me but i love him so much, more than i love my family (except for my yorkie). do you think the anger management class is enough? or just move on? i dont know what to do.. thanks for anyone who replies.. i know i wrote a lot and thank you to anyone who read through it..