I knew this would be trouble!!!

[Janet]

Judy, I hate that you have to deal with this. Why does he have to act that way and how can Jessie stand it? To each their own I guess. You'd think he'd want to be extra nice to his MIL for his wife's sake. He must really be strange.

[Marilyn]

Judy, so very sad that you are going through this, but what is the price of your relationship with your daughter and grand children? It's worth putting up with a bit of issues with your SIL to be able to keep close with them. It's only a little extra money, and it will all burn up someday anyway. Your relationships with your family are much more important.

Love you and am praying for patience. Take a deep breath and get a massage.

[judy]

Originally Posted by Janet

Judy, I hate that you have to deal with this. Why does he have to act that way and how can Jessie stand it? To each their own I guess. You'd think he'd want to be extra nice to his MIL for his wife's sake. He must really be strange.

He IS extra nice to me

Why Jessie puts up with this is an interesting question, and really, the only one that matters in the end. She knows he is an ahole, although she defends him to the end. They are in love, after 14 years together, 3 children, she has a very serious illness, and he is out of work more often than he should be. When I am with them, I actually enjoy myself because they enjoy each other. Go figure! But, the heart wants what the heart wants, and another couple's marriage can be a total mystery to everyone else.

She has also told me that she decided, years ago, that she wants to stay married to him. So, where somebody else might fight for "right," she will not.
She gets her way after a while anyway, but gives in to his nonsense in the moment. I obviously never could do that, having been divorced twice. I'm more the "it's my way or the highway" type. I have to say that I respect her decision.
He may be an ahole, but he does have many good traits. He is not abusive, working or not, keeps his family going, and loves his wife and children above all else.

Anyway, I do love him because of his good side, and because it is better to love than focus on the things I don't like.

I'm over being angry at him. It takes too much energy, and, like a lot of you have said, keeping the peace comes first at some point.

I was talking to him about the floor yesterday, and he suggested that I ask Lowe's how much they would charge to put the floor in. I asked him if he wants the job - it's a yes or no question - and he said yes, but if they can do it for less, I should take it. So, I guess he got over his hissy fit.

My grandmother told my aunt when she was growing up that the best way to get through family life is to "wiggle through" each day.

[Mandy]

Judy i am really sorry you are having to deal with this crap!
Laugh it off... he sure isnt worth getting angry over, get someone else to do the job for you... in your case, you are better off dealing with strangers.

Shows you how hes mind works, asking hes MIL for money because he helps?! It baffles me... we help our friends and family because we love them, and love seeing them happy.

Good luck girl, relax.... and keep smiling

[Gina]

Oh boy.. I have to say my family and frieds are like Gayle's and it has nothing to do with living in the country. I am a city girl but my family is always there for me.. Doing work on my house and not charging me a dime for labor. My husband and I will reciprocate in whatever way that we can. That is what a family does. I understand that he is not working so by working at your house, you are not taking money away from him. If he were smart and did not charge you, I know that you would give him money without hesitation. So by getting you mad thats not good.. He is being foolish and your daughter sides with him. Love or not she should tell him when he is wrong and stand her ground. You do a lot for her and her family.

Hang in there and just do what you feel is best...