Changes

[DianaB]

Lindsey, I didn't realize that all of this was going on!! I haven't kept up with all the posts on here. Wow!! You do have some important decisions to make!! I'm glad that you've talked this over with your parents and Scott. Less stress is definitely an important factor. Keep us informed. Hugs!!

[Lindsey]

Thanks Diana!
Another factor Scott and I discussed last night was that we'd have the same job and although we wouldn't always be on the same projects, I think it would still put some competition in our relationship. His boss said he wanted to start us at the same salary, but after a year we would both get raises based on our performance. If one of us got a better raise than the other, we'd be wondering why the other person did better and I think it could lead to some resentment. I really don't think I can work with him again. We did okay here together for a year, but we weren't ALWAYS together. He would be out of town sometimes on jobs, or he'd be helping out in the lab, or he'd be home on banked time. But even the little we were together, we still had some problems from it.

[DianaB]

It sounds like you've really thought things through. I think that you've got a keeper in Scott so protecting your relationship is a good idea.

[gja1000]

Gosh Lindsay! I don't know how I missed this!!!

I can tell you one thing, I have worked for 30 years in a career that I have loved every minute of. It DID NOT pay me what I could have earned in a different type of position. For example, hospital administration pays MUCH MUCH better - but it is SO SO SO stressful and the hours a very very long and tedious. I wouldn't trade my lower paying job for any type of hospital administration job - not for all the tea in China! There is a lot to be said for sanity and peace!

You have carefully considered everything, by the sounds of it and you have made a good decision. Good luck!

[Lindsey]

Gayle, I feel the same way. I would much rather be less stressed. I don't handle stress very well at all.

When I was working in the lab at this company, the job was quite easy but I never knew if I would get a lunch break that day, or what time I would get home at night, or if somebody would call me to be out on site before I even got out of bed in the morning. On top of that, there were quite a few men on the construction sites who didn't like having a woman telling them their materials weren't passing, and then there were others who really liked having a woman on site. There's no worse feeling than getting and education and working really hard at your job and coming on site for an older man to call you "baby" instead of using your name I was living with my grandma for that 8 months, and she fed me more than I've ever eaten, yet I still managed to drop about 30 lbs, handfuls of hair fell out in the shower, and my friends and coworkers started telling me how awful I looked.

Sometimes I feel that I'm not working to my potential because I'm just using a small amount of the knowledge I got from college. On the other hand, I've taken that knowledge and really expanded it with the extra courses I've taken since being out of school. Maybe it's better to be REALLY GOOD at one thing, than just kind of good at everything else.

[judy]

Reaching your potential is not always work related, I think. Actually, it has taken me many years of just living to feel that I have reached my potential in some areas, and haven't in others. But, I'm not dead yet! There's always something new to conquer. I think it's more a cumulative thing than just work.

Anyway, my father taught me that you should love what you do. If you don't, then pursue something that you do love. Money is important, but since you spend so much time at your job, enjoying your work is also very, very important.

It sounds like you made a good choice Linds.

[Lindsey]

Originally Posted by judy

Reaching your potential is not always work related, I think.

Thanks for that, Judy. I am content at my job. The money is enough, I can support myself, pay a mortgage, and have enough left over for travel and fun. It's not usually very stressful. I would rather work to live than live to work. I like that I have my stress-free spare time to work on being a good girlfriend, a good friend, a good daughter, a good "aunt" to adorable little girls, and a good "mommy" to Layla In a few years I would love to be married, I would love to have kids, and when that point comes work won't be the most important thing in my life anyway.

I sent a professionally written email to the recruitment guy with a cc to Scott's boss, saying I thanked them for considering my application but at this point I have decided to stay where I am. I let them know I would be open to future possibilities.

This morning I had received an email from the boss. Instead of the dear blah blah, regards blah blah , professional email I had written, I got a salutation of "Morning" followed by a paragraph of how unfortunate my decision is and he thought they offered me more experience than I could get here, and an abrupt ending of "May I ask what was the deciding factor?" The end.

I am not quite sure what to say, although I think I should reply. It really isn't anyone's business what the deciding factor was because the fact is I'm not going to take it. He let me know that I would just have to give him a simple yes or no with the offer, but I think at that time he was sure my answer would be "yes"