Discipline

[Miss_Sara]

I don't have kids
but I'm really wondering how everyone feels on discipline

to be honest, and hopefully no one is offended,
I find it RIDICULOUS when parents don't discipline their children.
Sometimes I just want to say to the parents "do you realize what you're doing to you child"

Kids need bed times, and rules, desperately!

and parents are there to teach them!
the more I watch those "wife swap" shows, the more ridiculous it seems!

[Janet]

Some people have no idea how to raise a child and therefore shouldn't!

But please don't base judgements on TV shows. They do an awful lot of editing to make it entertaining. We don't see what is really happening.

[DianaB]

I have 4 children, 3 grown (2 married and 1 in college) and a 14 year old. I was very strict with my first 2 children. I was very young and impatient, but I expected my children to mind me and obey rules. I didn't want people to dread having my family around because of my children. I knew families that were talked badly about because their children were so difficult to be around and I didn't want that to be my family. When I said no, I meant no. It didn't matter if you cried and threw a fit, I still meant no (and you might get a spanking for having the fit). I got a lot of compliments on my children, especially from check-out girls, because if they wanted candy at the check-out counter and I said no, then that was the end of it. No crying and no fits.

My next child came along and was a "I always want to do everything right child" and I hardly ever had to get on to her, plus she was warned by the first 2 to "watch out for Mom, she's a killer!!" Now I have my 14 year old daughter and, again, she's a "I want to do everything right child" too. She never talks back and is one of the most polite kids that I have ever seen. I can't say enough wonderful things about her.

Our family is a Christian family. We go to church every Sunday and are involved in everything that is going on there. We believe in the Bible and live our lives according to what is written there. I firmly believe that's why I have such a wonderful family. I wish everyone could have a family like ours. When my kids were teenagers they weren't partiers, no drugs, no alcohol, no bad language, no sassing. Just good kids having a good clean fun.

I think that you get out of kids what you put into them. If you put a lot of time into your kids and mentor them as they grow, you'll end up with great kids. I wanted my kids to be people that I enjoyed being with, not kids that I was ready to get away from. Keeping communication open with them is important. I am a sahm and every day when my daughter comes home from school I ask about her day and we sit in the kitchen and chat about what went on at school, with her teachers and her friends.

Now I am seeing the results of raising my kids. They have turned out to be hard working, great family people who love and cherish their own kids. They don't drink, smoke, do drugs, cuss, or have any other bad habits. They're people you would be glad to know and be friends with. Was it worth all the hard work of raising them and making them mind me?? YES, YES, YES!!!

[rivermom]

Dicipline is love in my book!!

[Mandy]

Originally Posted by rivermom

Dicipline is love in my book!!

I agree What kind of future will undiciplined kids have to face?!
If they not brought up with "wrong or right" they will give their own kids the same upbringing, well if that's what future generations have to offer us, than i don't think i want to know what kind of world this will become!!

[Janet]

Originally Posted by Mandy

I agree What kind of future will undiciplined kids have to face?!
If they not brought up with "wrong or right" they will give their own kids the same upbringing, well if that's what future generations have to offer us, than i don't think i want to know what kind of world this will become!!

Scary isn't it Mandy? I see more undisciplined kids than disciplined. I worry about the future if some of these kids don't step up. They already think things are a mess and some have the attitude of "what's the point." Sure wish things looked brighter for them.

[rivermom]

It does seem disturbing that the majority of the "younger generation" today seems to not have the same characteristics as kids did before. Or maybe it's only the fact that as I age it seems to me this way?

I get so confused trying to figure out if it's really the kids changing or just me aging? It baffles me really.

It seems to me the world is so much in a hurry these days. I remember growing up having "family dinners around the table". I don't think you find that much anymore. Hurry, hurry, hurry...Stress, stress, stress...

Shoot, it wasn't a crime back when to "dicipline your kids", spank them in public when they got outta line. Now you do that and you find yourself on the 10:00 news. Or if that doesn't happen, kids themselves call "family services" and tell them that their parents abuse them. It's totally insane to me really.

I do find myself worring about the generations coming quite abit.

But, the bottom line is a child needs bounderies. It keeps them safe, lets them feel secure, and worthy. A undiciplined child is the same as an undicplined dog. Both totally out of control, unhappy, unsettled, and not comfortable within their surroundings.

[Willow]

We have four kids and we are strict with them. We use both spankings and loss of priveleges, and sometimes the behavior warrants both (like today I caught the oldest three in the boys bedroom closet tearing apart the bassinet we used for our youngest! Spankings and no tv for a week!!!)

We do not allow girls in boys room or boys in girls room, even though they are still young. We decided to establish that rule early, and until today, it is followed pretty well for the most part.

My kids are also spoiled to a degree. If we go shopping and they exhibit good behavior (stay close, hold on to the cart, no grabbing off shelves, no asking for what they see) then we MIGHT let them get something to take home for themselves. Sometimes it maybe a movie for them ALL to share or it may be a small toy. A 99 cent matchbox goes along way with my boys!!!

But say while we are checking out they start acting up. Then whatever they got is mine until they earn it back.

We get compliments on how well behaved our kids are when we go places. They say please and thank you and may I. They do talk back some, but there are consequences for that too! They KNOW they have to behave in a positive manner or they get spanked. I HAVE spanked in public. That is one nice thing about living in Ohio...SPANKING IS LEGAL!!!! AND if an outsider interferes with a parent disciplining their child it IS punishable by STATE LAW. As long as it isn't abuse, obviously. But say I give one of my kids a swat on the bottom in Walmart and another shopper gets upset...too bad!! I can literally have them arrested for interferring with disciplining my child.

[Lindsey]

I have no kids myself, but I remember growing up and seeing my cousins running around doing what they wanted, and I was jealous. Now, one of them had to go to a juvenile detention center when he was 14, his younger brother got taken away from the family because of the dysfunction, and the oldest, a girl my age, was on drugs at an early age and now has 2 children she is raising by herself. She and I are closer now and she has cleaned up completely, but I see her raising her children the same way she was raised. Sometimes her two year old daughter is still awake at 1 or 2 in the morning! She is trying, but she hasn't had any good examples in her life on how to raise children.

[khardy57]

My sons are grown now, also. You know you did a good job when they come back to you and say "Thank you, Mama, for raising me like you did"

Both of mine have done that at different times. I raised them alone for 10 years and felt like I had to do a better job than parents who raised their kids together.

When they needed their rear-ends popped, it happened. I also didn't like it when girls called them. I guess I was old fashioned, but when I was growing up only trashy girls called boys.

[Janet]

My son is 15 and so far I haven't had to worry about girls calling. He's had just a couple call...but when they do they'll ask for Rick and I have to say which one...that's my husband's name too....LOL

[BabyNicole]

Originally Posted by Miss_Sara

I don't have kids
but I'm really wondering how everyone feels on discipline

to be honest, and hopefully no one is offended,
I find it RIDICULOUS when parents don't discipline their children.
Sometimes I just want to say to the parents "do you realize what you're doing to you child"

Kids need bed times, and rules, desperately!

and parents are there to teach them!
the more I watch those "wife swap" shows, the more ridiculous it seems!

Don't you just love that show!!! I don't have kids either, but I am a teacher, and we sure have set rules and consequences (that I follow strictly) in the classroom.

You know what I "love?" When you are in the grocery store and a kid is wripping everything off the shelves, and Mom is saying, "Oh Johnny honey, please don't do that. Mommy is getting upset. Honey, stop, please stop honey." First off, I would have never done that when I was young, or I would GET IT when I got home. Secondly, my mom would warn me not to do anything bad in the store or else she would wack me and embarass me in front of everyone. Wacking didn't bother me so much, but I hated (still do) being embarassed!!!

[Taurus Babe]

Rules, boundaries and structure is very important to raising a well rounded, well behaved child!! Discipline is a must!

Discipline is a must, and if you do that disciplining when they are really young, as they mature, far less is needed. I just hate to see those 2 and 3 yr olds, running amok and mommy (or daddy) is over there saying "do you want a time out?" Well wake up!!!!MOM...no one WANTS a time out....do your job!!
I have two sons, 18 and 21 now..and when they were small I wasn't afraid to swat them on the bum (with my hand) if it was called for. By age 5 or so, they didn't need that, I could just look at them and they knew to straighten up. Mid thru teen years, we mostly stuck to groundings or taking away things.
I really think though the biggest problem with kids nowdays is that parents just aren't spending the time with their children. They may be in tons of activities, but family dinners and just quality time isn't happening anymore. I think that is a shame. I know most people it takes mom and dad both working to make it work, and I do understand that...but...if you can, I think you should stay at home with them and do without some things (luxuries, not food ). That is what my husband and I did, and I think that being there for them and disciplining when needed made for two great kids!! A lot of plain ole family values are falling by the wayside these days...and all of us are going to be paying the price!!