Venting--Thanksgiving and In-laws!!

[Janet]

I'm glad we don't have that much problem with my in-laws. The one I really care about, we see and talk with each other frequently, the others live out of state and it's wonderful. It's up to them to come home for the holidays...if they don't, the fewer the merrier!!! LOL

[Mandy]

Sorry to hear you have probs. with your inlaws... your definatly not the only one, so don't feel bad! Some people you can just never please no matter what you do, they always have something to say

[Taurus Babe]

Sorry you are having these problems with your husband's side of the family. It's sad that they are being like towards you, but just remember, you married your husband, and as long as your love stay strong, it'll be fine!

[magnolia]

I'm so sorry to read of the problems you're having with your in-laws. Evidently, they aren't seeing the fact that it's not YOU but both you and your husband who don't make these trips but they are blaming you for his not going. As we get older in life and have our own families, we want to spend the holidays with them.

As a child, we were always at my grandparents for Thanksgiving and Christmas. We'd get up on Christmas morning, see what Santa brought us and while we were playing with our new toys, my dad was loading the car and my mom was taking down the christmas tree. Then, when all that was done, it was time to go. My brother and sisters could pick one new toy (and nothing big) to take with us, the rest had to stay behind until we returned a week later!!! As much as I enjoyed seeing my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousings, to a child leaving behind new toys was upsetting. As I got older, I vowed I would never do that to any children I may have.....and so far, I held true to that! We spend either the week-end before Christmas or after the new year with my in-laws but Christmas is spent at home. As for Thanksgiving, we've been with my mother-in-law once in the 14 years we've been living where we are now and it was a nightmare!! She wanted ALL of her family to stay with her!! There were 8 adults, not counting her, and at that time, 6 grandkids - in a 2 bedroom, 1 bath house!! I think NOT! And she had the nerve to get mad at all of us because we had gotten hotel rooms!! There was no way we were all going to be comfortable in that situation.

I know it upsets you and bothers you but try not to let it. After all this time, the family is going to say what they want about the absence of you and your husband at get-togethers. You are spending time with your own family, making lasting memories with them - that's reason enough to smile

[Janet]

Originally Posted by magnolia

I'm so sorry to read of the problems you're having with your in-laws. Evidently, they aren't seeing the fact that it's not YOU but both you and your husband who don't make these trips but they are blaming you for his not going. As we get older in life and have our own families, we want to spend the holidays with them.

As a child, we were always at my grandparents for Thanksgiving and Christmas. We'd get up on Christmas morning, see what Santa brought us and while we were playing with our new toys, my dad was loading the car and my mom was taking down the christmas tree. Then, when all that was done, it was time to go. My brother and sisters could pick one new toy (and nothing big) to take with us, the rest had to stay behind until we returned a week later!!! As much as I enjoyed seeing my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousings, to a child leaving behind new toys was upsetting. As I got older, I vowed I would never do that to any children I may have.....and so far, I held true to that! We spend either the week-end before Christmas or after the new year with my in-laws but Christmas is spent at home. As for Thanksgiving, we've been with my mother-in-law once in the 14 years we've been living where we are now and it was a nightmare!! She wanted ALL of her family to stay with her!! There were 8 adults, not counting her, and at that time, 6 grandkids - in a 2 bedroom, 1 bath house!! I think NOT! And she had the nerve to get mad at all of us because we had gotten hotel rooms!! There was no way we were all going to be comfortable in that situation.

I know it upsets you and bothers you but try not to let it. After all this time, the family is going to say what they want about the absence of you and your husband at get-togethers. You are spending time with your own family, making lasting memories with them - that's reason enough to smile

Your post sounded so much like my family. Hubby's side never made any demands. His Dad and StepMom left it up to the kids when to come for the holidays. They always had Thanksgiving on Thanksgiving Day and if the kids could come, fine, if not fine. We never had the gossipy rude remarks with hubby's side either. His sister is really the only one I don't care for and she feels the same about me, but we get along. I enjoyed the holidays with hubby's side much more than with mine. There was no drama or competition among anyone.

Now my side of the family...totally different. My mother (please know I do love my Mom) is the most selfish, self centered person I have ever met. She has to have things her way and pouts and carrys on like a 3 year old. No, it's not her age (83) she has always been this way. I use to get so sick on the holidays, but it was just nerves. She threw an absolute fit when my son was born and we decided to stay home Christmas morning, even though we opened presents on Christmas eve at her house. She doesn't like change and last year when I prepared the Thanksgiving meal at our house for his side, she was not happy. Even though she knew there was no one on his side that could. His father had just passed, step mom in nursing home and no one else had the room. She's not liking it this year either. Holidays have never been a "good" think for me, but I try my best to make my son's holidays the most memorable that I can. Okay, I guess that's enough about me........

[2tiredmom]

Holiday's. Since we moved 4 years ago my little brother and his new wife are having Thanksgiving at their house. Along with all of her family. This will be the first one without my mom. I don't like going to my brothers house. His wife is very very opionated. She has 4 girls ages 18, 17, 15, and 4. My brother has a son 17 and a daughter 15. They live in a 3 bedroom home with 1 bathroom.
I hate it. All they do is brag about all the girls and their boyfriends. The oldest girl
is dating a sophmore in high school and the 17 year old's boyfriend just moved in.
So this should be a wonderful year. Needless to say we won't stay long.
My husbands mom will be having supper at her house. That will be another sad affair. It will be the first year with out his dad. And the sister in law from down below where the fire is. SO I can't wait till it's over and I'm back home.
But I need to count my blessings. I do have many...........

[Emmsmom]

Sadly when problems come up like this it is the wife is usually always to blame! Unless they are his inlaws like in my case. My mother HATES my husband and also says HE is the reason I don't come around anymore. That couldn't be farther from the truth. You haveevery right to visit your side of the family as well. I really wouldn't let this bother you. I know easier said than done... Sometimes you just have to face it your damned if you do and damned if you don't!! Enjoy your kids and grandkids and ignore the rest. ((HUGS))