What's the right age?

Janet · 11-06-2006, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RLC12345678

I agree!!!!!!!! I think after high school is the perfect age for them to start being self-sufficient. If they are not off at college and they are still living at home, then I think they should definately be helping out financially as well as with the responsibilites of the household.

Rebecca....were we separated at birth??????? LOLOL That would have been great....I would be so much younger....LMAO!

Gina · 11-06-2006, 03:59 PM

Hummm lets see here... I have two children 19 yrs and 21 yrs old. They are both in college full time. My daughter dorms at the school , comes home maybe twice a mt. on weekends. My son lives home and lives the life of Riley lol. is a student at a local college. I am an italian mother I guess....lol I don't tell my son to ever leave, but I do tell him this summer he has to apply to a job in city for he has yr. left of school. Due to his playing baseball and then dropping it, he has classes to make up. They both work odd jobs to make extra money, now my daughter can't she has many science classes and I want her studying and passing.. On breaks and summer vacation she always works. When they are finished with school, I will take money from them, but I know me I will save it for them , for when they go out on their own.

2tiredmom · 11-07-2006, 08:11 AM

Not all situations are the same. Like for example me. My oldest was suppose to graduate college this spring. She ended up pregnant. So now she is taking 1 semester and wants to go back and finish next summer. She will be living here with me and her stepdad. She is 22. That is fine with me. She will need the help and I'd rather have her here than have to worry about her and the baby somewhere else. She will help around the house. I also have a son thats in college thats 19. He comes home every once in a while. In the summer he works. But he keeps that money for college which is fine. He also helps around the house and outside. Then I also have a 15 year old. So it works out for us right now this way. I love my kids and want them all to be independent. But I also want them to know that if they need us we are here for them. So many different situations.

Emmsmom · 11-09-2006, 03:22 AM

I don't know that there is a "right" age either. I do think that they should be helping out. Asking them to help clean or do their own laundry isn't going to hurt. Also asking them to help with a few bills wouldn't hurt either since they are both working. As much as you have been through with the both of them it is the least they can do. You have gone above and beyond for your DD on several occasions. So I don't think it would be harsh to ask for some help.

Janet · 11-09-2006, 06:08 AM

I also wanted to add that I think all kids should be taught to be self-sufficient. I know it probably sounds as if I'm bragging, but I'm not. I just felt it was important to teach my son. He's 15 and can do his own laundry, cook a meal, bake, balance his checkbook. Yes at 15 he has a checkbook, but he's been "working" since he was 12 years old. He started by going out in the fields and gathering corn that the combines missed. He use to shell it using an antique corn sheller, but then the grain elevator said it didn't need to be done. So his father drove him to the elevator to turn in his corn and they would pay him. His first fall season earned him over $300.00.

Heaven forbid, the good Lord would take me from him at this age, but if he so chose to do so, my son will be able to do well. He has all the basics, is kind, sensitive and also strong willed.

He does have a good work ethic and knows if he wants a car..he has to pay for it and all that goes along with it. He's ready..at least he says he is.

If he chooses to live at home for awhile after he graduates we will be thrilled to let him stay, but he will have chores or duties to perform here at home, just as he would if he was to live on his own. I pray that I have prepared him enough, but he's only 15 so hopefully we can instill even more within the next few years.

RLC12345678 · 11-09-2006, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janet

I also wanted to add that I think all kids should be taught to be self-sufficient. I know it probably sounds as if I'm bragging, but I'm not. I just felt it was important to teach my son. He's 15 and can do his own laundry, cook a meal, bake, balance his checkbook. Yes at 15 he has a checkbook, but he's been "working" since he was 12 years old. He started by going out in the fields and gathering corn that the combines missed. He use to shell it using an antique corn sheller, but then the grain elevator said it didn't need to be done. So his father drove him to the elevator to turn in his corn and they would pay him. His first fall season earned him over $300.00.

Heaven forbid, the good Lord would take me from him at this age, but if he so chose to do so, my son will be able to do well. He has all the basics, is kind, sensitive and also strong willed.

He does have a good work ethic and knows if he wants a car..he has to pay for it and all that goes along with it. He's ready..at least he says he is.

If he chooses to live at home for awhile after he graduates we will be thrilled to let him stay, but he will have chores or duties to perform here at home, just as he would if he was to live on his own. I pray that I have prepared him enough, but he's only 15 so hopefully we can instill even more within the next few years.

Janet, I do believe we were separated at birth!!!!!

My parents taught me the same thing. I got a checkbook at 15, I've had a job since I was 15, I have been doing my own laundry ever since I can remember, I've always helped my mom cook, and my parents never did the dishes (that was always me and my sisters' responsibility), and when I turned 16, I was given a lot of freedom to make decisions on my own. I could not WAIT to be out on my own. I am very mature in that respect. My parents always emphasized that I needed to be able to take care of myself and be independant and not ever have to rely on ANYONE for ANYTHING, not them (my parents) or a man.

Janet · 11-09-2006, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RLC12345678

Janet, I do believe we were separated at birth!!!!!

My parents taught me the same thing. I got a checkbook at 15, I've had a job since I was 15, I have been doing my own laundry ever since I can remember, I've always helped my mom cook, and my parents never did the dishes (that was always me and my sisters' responsibility), and when I turned 16, I was given a lot of freedom to make decisions on my own. I could not WAIT to be out on my own. I am very mature in that respect. My parents always emphasized that I needed to be able to take care of myself and be independant and not ever have to rely on ANYONE for ANYTHING, not them (my parents) or a man.

Sounds like your parents did a great job. From all your posts, here and at YT, I would be proud to call you my daughter.

Cribal · 11-09-2006, 01:51 PM

I think if their out of school then they should be out of the house or helping paying for things. At 16 I had a job, checking acct, I was paying for my first car and paying for my own car ins. I'm glad that my mom taught me how to keep up with bills and manage my money. I admit I did get my first credit card at 18 and went crazy but I never missed a payment b/c my mom also made sure I knew never to mess up my credit. Now I've paid for two cars, I'm paying on a mortgage on a house, married and I think doing quite well for myself.

Now my best friend Lindsey is another story. She is my age (almost 25) and still living with her parents and still working a part time job. She has never had a bill in her life except her cell phone bill. Her parents treat her and her brother (still living at home and working at a pizza place at the age of 28) like their still kids. They have no responsibility at all. And it would be different if they were saving up money to move out or something but neither one of them even have a checking acct. They have no savings even though they have NO BILLS. I don't know if they will ever move out of their house. Me and Lindsey's plans since we were kids was to move out together when we were 18. I moved out at 18 and she's still never left...LOL

So be careful. If you don't have them making some kind of effort to move out or be on their own then you could end up having them until their 28 too...LOL

Sorry this was so long

11-07-2006, 08:11 AM	#3
2tiredmom Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Indiana Posts: 1,367	Not all situations are the same. Like for example me. My oldest was suppose to graduate college this spring. She ended up pregnant. So now she is taking 1 semester and wants to go back and finish next summer. She will be living here with me and her stepdad. She is 22. That is fine with me. She will need the help and I'd rather have her here than have to worry about her and the baby somewhere else. She will help around the house. I also have a son thats in college thats 19. He comes home every once in a while. In the summer he works. But he keeps that money for college which is fine. He also helps around the house and outside. Then I also have a 15 year old. So it works out for us right now this way. I love my kids and want them all to be independent. But I also want them to know that if they need us we are here for them. So many different situations. __________________ The real measure of a woman's wealth is what she has invested in eternity. Linda aka 2tiredmom

11-09-2006, 03:22 AM	#4
Emmsmom Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 612	I don't know that there is a "right" age either. I do think that they should be helping out. Asking them to help clean or do their own laundry isn't going to hurt. Also asking them to help with a few bills wouldn't hurt either since they are both working. As much as you have been through with the both of them it is the least they can do. You have gone above and beyond for your DD on several occasions. So I don't think it would be harsh to ask for some help. __________________ MICHELLE

11-09-2006, 06:08 AM	#5
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,625	I also wanted to add that I think all kids should be taught to be self-sufficient. I know it probably sounds as if I'm bragging, but I'm not. I just felt it was important to teach my son. He's 15 and can do his own laundry, cook a meal, bake, balance his checkbook. Yes at 15 he has a checkbook, but he's been "working" since he was 12 years old. He started by going out in the fields and gathering corn that the combines missed. He use to shell it using an antique corn sheller, but then the grain elevator said it didn't need to be done. So his father drove him to the elevator to turn in his corn and they would pay him. His first fall season earned him over $300.00. Heaven forbid, the good Lord would take me from him at this age, but if he so chose to do so, my son will be able to do well. He has all the basics, is kind, sensitive and also strong willed. He does have a good work ethic and knows if he wants a car..he has to pay for it and all that goes along with it. He's ready..at least he says he is. If he chooses to live at home for awhile after he graduates we will be thrilled to let him stay, but he will have chores or duties to perform here at home, just as he would if he was to live on his own. I pray that I have prepared him enough, but he's only 15 so hopefully we can instill even more within the next few years. __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1

11-09-2006, 01:51 PM	#8
Cribal Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Mt. Ulla, NC Posts: 121	I think if their out of school then they should be out of the house or helping paying for things. At 16 I had a job, checking acct, I was paying for my first car and paying for my own car ins. I'm glad that my mom taught me how to keep up with bills and manage my money. I admit I did get my first credit card at 18 and went crazy but I never missed a payment b/c my mom also made sure I knew never to mess up my credit. Now I've paid for two cars, I'm paying on a mortgage on a house, married and I think doing quite well for myself. Now my best friend Lindsey is another story. She is my age (almost 25) and still living with her parents and still working a part time job. She has never had a bill in her life except her cell phone bill. Her parents treat her and her brother (still living at home and working at a pizza place at the age of 28) like their still kids. They have no responsibility at all. And it would be different if they were saving up money to move out or something but neither one of them even have a checking acct. They have no savings even though they have NO BILLS. I don't know if they will ever move out of their house. Me and Lindsey's plans since we were kids was to move out together when we were 18. I moved out at 18 and she's still never left...LOL So be careful. If you don't have them making some kind of effort to move out or be on their own then you could end up having them until their 28 too...LOL Sorry this was so long __________________ Crystal

11-06-2006, 03:59 PM	#2
Gina Donating 4WT 500 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 6,025	Hummm lets see here... I have two children 19 yrs and 21 yrs old. They are both in college full time. My daughter dorms at the school , comes home maybe twice a mt. on weekends. My son lives home and lives the life of Riley lol. is a student at a local college. I am an italian mother I guess....lol I don't tell my son to ever leave, but I do tell him this summer he has to apply to a job in city for he has yr. left of school. Due to his playing baseball and then dropping it, he has classes to make up. They both work odd jobs to make extra money, now my daughter can't she has many science classes and I want her studying and passing.. On breaks and summer vacation she always works. When they are finished with school, I will take money from them, but I know me I will save it for them , for when they go out on their own.

	Contact Us - 4WomenTalk.com - Archive - Top
		Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7 Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.