Venting--Thanksgiving and In-laws!!

[Emmsmom]

Sadly when problems come up like this it is the wife is usually always to blame! Unless they are his inlaws like in my case. My mother HATES my husband and also says HE is the reason I don't come around anymore. That couldn't be farther from the truth. You haveevery right to visit your side of the family as well. I really wouldn't let this bother you. I know easier said than done... Sometimes you just have to face it your damned if you do and damned if you don't!! Enjoy your kids and grandkids and ignore the rest. ((HUGS))

[Janet]

Maybe one way to help ease the tensions when you can make certain family activities or holidays is to let him speak with his family and you speak with yours. Don't know if that would help or not, but it might.

Originally Posted by Janet

Maybe one way to help ease the tensions when you can make certain family activities or holidays is to let him speak with his family and you speak with yours. Don't know if that would help or not, but it might.

That is a great idea!! This is what I try to do. We try hard to "split the time" as best we can but we live near my H's family and mine are a 9 hour car ride aways so we don't see them as much. When the opportunity arises for us to see my family we usually take it because we spend birthdays, Easters, etc with those who are local.

My in laws and my entire H's family are very conservative and I am very liberal. With the recent political scene the way it's been, things can get strained if anyone brings up politics. I am not one to not speak my mind so i have to be very careful this year to "keep it zipped"!!!

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by Emmsmom

Sadly when problems come up like this it is the wife is usually always to blame! Unless they are his inlaws like in my case. My mother HATES my husband and also says HE is the reason I don't come around anymore. That couldn't be farther from the truth. You haveevery right to visit your side of the family as well. I really wouldn't let this bother you. I know easier said than done... Sometimes you just have to face it your damned if you do and damned if you don't!! Enjoy your kids and grandkids and ignore the rest. ((HUGS))

Thanks, Emmsmom!! Actually, my family loves my husband. If we were to ever get a divorce (not likely) they would probably keep him and get rid of me!!! He's a sweetheart.

My family is very accepting of other people. On the other hand, his family is very clannish and doesn't accept other people very well. My husband has even noticed the difference between the two families and prefers my family over his. His family has a hard time accepting the people who are married into the family and prefer to only do things with each other.

We don't invite my husband's sister to stay with us anymore because of the way that I was left out of her activities (not that I wanted to go, but it would have been nice to have been asked). My husband witnessed an exchange with her in which she had a whole list of reasons why I couldn't go on an outing with her and some other family. When she doesn't stay here she can't hurt my feelings by making me feel left out.

I've been married into this family for 32 years and I've learned to just get along with them. I try to stay away from them so I don't get my feelings hurt. They don't realize that they don't treat other people very good because this is the way they were brought up. I just take comfort in my own family and try to spend time with them. Every time I have to go to one of their gatherings I get stressed out and really dread going. I'm sure that there are families that are a lot worse to be around and that I probably wouldn't trade places with anyone else and their in-laws!!!!!