What's the right age?

[Janet]

Originally Posted by RLC12345678

Janet, I do believe we were separated at birth!!!!! My parents taught me the same thing. I got a checkbook at 15, I've had a job since I was 15, I have been doing my own laundry ever since I can remember, I've always helped my mom cook, and my parents never did the dishes (that was always me and my sisters' responsibility), and when I turned 16, I was given a lot of freedom to make decisions on my own. I could not WAIT to be out on my own. I am very mature in that respect. My parents always emphasized that I needed to be able to take care of myself and be independant and not ever have to rely on ANYONE for ANYTHING, not them (my parents) or a man.

Sounds like your parents did a great job. From all your posts, here and at YT, I would be proud to call you my daughter.

[Tink]

OMG Crystal, I couldn't handle that! THIS is driving me bonkers and they're 18 and 20. LOL

My kids have done their own laundry since they were 12. They might not like doing it, but if they want clean clothes, they get it done.

Both of my older 2 are good enough cooks that they've cooked in restaurants (one in a city cafe and bar and grill, the other in a steak house) and the youngest can cook enough to keep herself fed if she absolutely has to. She's just not as good at it as the other 2.

It's not a matter of them not knowing how to do things... they simply try to get away with not having to do any more than they have to.

I keep telling hubby that there's no reason for them to ever move out if they're TOO comfortable here. For example, Katie moved out for a few weeks and moved back home. When she moved back, she left her bed behind. NOW she expects US to buy her a new one. I refuse! Hubby was all ready to do it and I won't let him.
If she wants a bed, she can buy it! Right now she's sleeping on the sofa, which I don't like. I want her sleeping in her bedroom, but she rarely makes it that far.

[Miss_Sara]

I think it really depends
like if they were in community college, I'd say they could stay until they were done witht hat school (so 2 more years)
but if they weren't doing anything
I would say they better leave. Unless they're doing a year off thing, or have kids, or any other special circumstance.

It really depends ont he kind of people you are, and the kind of people they are.

If they have their life on track, are in college, have a job, etc. but haven't moved out yet, it's likely they're saving up for it...

I say don't charge them, I think that would really hurt them, unless they're in their 20s (meaning, OVER the age of 20) and not planning to leave. But they should be helping out around the house. Definitly

I think 18-19 is a good age cause that is usually when they go off to college. It's easier to do it that way by dorming because then you become independent and you have an excuse for it.

[Lissa]

There's no flat age to kick someone out, I'd say out by 28 at the latest, but it really depends on the person.

I moved out this past August and am living in a dorm (I'm turning 20 next month). My parents pay my tuition cause I don't qualify for financial aid, and they also pay my room and board. They won't let me get a job so they give me $60 every two weeks to get by. I hate it. I would rather have a job and be working to take over my own expenses. Even if they don't like it I'm going to try to get a job when I get back to school. I'm planning on getting an apartment in July so I need to be saving up for that so the bills wont sneak up on me, I want enough money to have the rent and expenses covered for at least 4-5 months in case I hit a rough spot.

I'd encourage your kids to get better jobs and start saving up. Chances are they want to move out, I know my sister(21) wants to and is planning to in August or so. If you think they feel too comfortable you could always start to get a little annoying about doing chores to light a fire under their rears and get them wanting to move out. I'd say my parents do a good job with that