Guess She's Going To Florida

[Janet]

Thank you all for understanding. AND yes Gayle....my brother is both. I don't speak with him often...he is so moody and I don't like walking on eggshells around him. I think I may email him and let him know how my other brother and myself feel about this, I just don't want a confrontation and it will surely get me one. Hopefully Mom will realize she shouldn't go, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

[gja1000]

I'm glad to hear that your other brother is on board with her not going!

Do you think you could have a heart to heart with your mom? If you can, you might tell her that you understand that she wants to go to FL, but that she has to understand that when she is down there, she is on her own. If she gets sick or needs something or someone, that you can't go down there to help her and you can't go down to get her. I'd let her know I didn't approve of her going, but that if she goes, she is on her own and you will not be able to help her from IN and you wish she would stay in IN for the winter.

[Janet]

I've already had the talk with Mom, Gayle. I'm sure you all can tell from my posts that Mom is a very determined and selfish person. I told her exactly that.....that I couldn't just drop my job and head to FL., if she got sick and needed me....that she would be on her own. I also told her I would rather her stay here and she could even spend the winter at my house most of the time so she wouldn't be shut up in a house alone, but she won't give an inch. She said she loved her place in FL and wasn't going to even think of selling or letting it go for a few more years yet.

Even when Mom said that her friends down there would help her, I tried to tell her that they go down their to enjoy their retirement...not take care of her. Most are her age and won't be able to carry her dialysis fluid in for her...she can't even do it. It all falls to deaf ears....she just won't listen. I'm just praying that she'll see differently as the time gets closer....it's just about all I can do.

[gja1000]

You know Janet, what will be, will be. As you said she is selfish and is being unreasonable. So, she's making her bed, and just let her lay in it. Problem is you worry about her and that is not fair, because there is nothing you can do to change the situation. Likewise, there is nothing you can do to fix the situation, so you just have to let it be and try not to worry.

[Janet]

That's exactly what I'm doing. Hopefully she'll change her mind, if not...there's nothing I can do.

[gja1000]

You are a wise woman, Janet!

[Marilyn]

She may realize that serious problems could happen, but enjoys her life there so much that she's willing to take the risk. It's a selfish attitude for sure, but as stated, what will be will be. It may sound harsh, but if she passes while she is there, she will be in a place where she is obviously happy, and she may be considering this. She just may not be considering the inbetween that could happen, that she could become seriously ill, rather than pass on and cause real problems for everyone.

Hugs, and hope all turns out well for you and her.