Today...not such a good one

[judy]

Gayle, that is so beautiful! You are wonderful and understanding! I am so glad you were able to put all of this into these wise words so that Janet can know how much she needs to talk to us.

If you are not okay, Janet, then we are all affected! You are loved and needed here. 4WT is like a support group, and a chain is only as strong as it's weakest links! That's why, when one of us needs support, we are here for you.

Not only that, all of us have been, or will be, in a caretaker role, and we are all learning to cope together.

I am sorry you got stuck in for the weekend!

[Gina]

Gayle you have said it beautifully as usual. Janet I can understand exactly what you are going through. I myself was in the same situation many years ago, when both my parents were alive. I for one was the sandiwich generation where I was in between raising my children and taking care of my elderly sick parents. I was the last one born after soon many years and the only girl to. The responsibility was on my shoulders, I had three brothers but one had passed away young many years ago.

To much to get into but Janet sons don't do much sometimes even if they like to they have their wives complaining in the background. I was under so much stress back then, my husband was a good SIL I do have to give him credit. He did a lot for my parents for we lived in the same house but different apartments. One thing you have to remember and I don't know if your mom is doing this yet. But once they are old and sick they don't like to be left alone much and my mom use to complain everytime I went out , I was not allowed a social life lol and my mom had an aide stay with her a few hrs. of the day. You just have to put your foot down.

In hindsight if I had known what I do now I may have done things a little different for myself. Fast forward to today I still get digs from an older brother as to what did you do for parents.. not appreicative at all.. But you know what I know what I did and God does to.. I don't have to prove to no one especially when they were hardly there... I do miss my parents and life has changed. But you are one person Janet and you can only do what you can...

So Janet vent all you like and if you ever want to talk call me... hugs to you....

[Janet]

Thank you all so much. I decided to write to both of my brothers. That way I can reread it a few times and make sure it doesn't sound like I'm attacking. I hope you don't mind Gayle, but I'm using your post in it. It was so wonderfully spelled out that I think they will understand co
ming from someone other than me. You ladies have no idea what you mean to me and that your constant support keeps me going. I truly truly love you so much.

[gja1000]

Of course I don't mind if you use my post! I hope they take it to heart.

[Marilyn]

Janet, so sorry I haven't been on here much to keep up with what is going on, but you know that I think of you and you are in my prayers. I went through these times with my mother when my girls were in middle and high school. She was in an assisted living and then nursing home, but I went to see her every evening after work and fed her. Our girls did their homework many evenings in the nursing home. I didn't have the constant burden that you have, working full time, I wasn't able to have mother at home. We couldn't afford a full time in-home caregiver for when I was at work, and her dementia significantly complicated her care. She was like a baby near the end. Being her only child, it was up to me to make all the decisions concerning her care, and accept the blame when things didn't go like others thought they should.

These are very tough times to deal with, and my heart truly goes out to you. I'll try to be on here more and keep up with you, but if I'm not here, you and your family will be in my prayers.

[Janet]

Thank you Marilyn, you've been missed here at 4WT. Hope you can be here more often.

[judy]

A letter to your brothers is a really good idea Janet. If nothing else, they will know how you feel, and you can get it off your chest to them.

Maybe they will pitch in and help some too!