Online dating or fostering children?!

Lindsey · 07-18-2011, 07:41 AM

Sandy, I have to agree with Gayle on all points!

My great-aunt fosters children. Some of these kids are in such horrible condition when they come to her. One was born to a heroin-addicted mother, and the baby was addicted itself, and my aunt had to give the baby morphine and wean her off it. She gave the baby a chance at a better life, because she would not be alive otherwise. One of her fosters, nicknamed "Lucky" was born with heart problems and had to have open heart surgery within days of being born. He survived. My aunt fostered him for 3 years, and then his mother came back and wanted to take him. I think she was able to do that if he wasn't adopted by some point. So, my aunt adopted him. She couldn't stand to see him go back to a mother who could not care for him.

Her husband passed away and like you, she didn't want to date again. She had her own little foster family, and grown children and grandchildren as well. She spent a lot of time in Mexico with her sister. Then, she met a man down there and a couple of years later, they were married! He lives up here now and they're a happy family together.

I think you just need to follow your heart and happiness will find you eventually!

Tiramisu · 07-18-2011, 04:59 PM

Wow, I was so afraid you'd all tell me to live a good single life. I'll go to the meeting and make my decisions. Thanks

Janet · 07-18-2011, 06:03 PM

Sandy....I think it would be nice to have foster children, but I no longer have the patience I'm afraid. I do want to offer one bit of advice that I've always remembered.... to not do anything after a life changing event such as a death, divorce..etc. for 6 months to a year. It made a lot of sense to me and I've always remembered it. Just something to think about.

If it's what's in your heart...then you'd be great at it.

judy · 07-19-2011, 05:09 AM

Good for you Sandy! Put your toe in all of the waters! You will know what is best for you, and it is wonderful that you are beginning your life as a divorced woman! It can be very exciting to start over, especially when you have life experience and wisdom!

Follow your instincts!

DianaB · 07-19-2011, 10:28 AM

I'm afraid that I agree with Janet. Take some time for yourself to recouperate from your divorce and being single again.......THEN make a decision about this. Take some time first to just become used to the life you have now.....which I'm sure is so different from what you had....before you decide to make such a life changing decision. Good luck!!!

JJJ · 07-19-2011, 03:43 PM

I have never foster kids but I think thats a great idea.

I have done the on-line dating before. And I absolutely love it. I do not go there looking for love just friendship. Someone who will take you out to have dinner, movies talk and laugh. Get as many dinner dates as you can.

I am very careful and only chat with them on the website. I do not give out my number or e-mail. I meet them at the location and that's it. Most men just want company for a bit. I am very upfront about telling them not to get their hopes up.

Tiramisu · 07-26-2011, 07:18 PM

I went to the informations meeting this evening, praying that I would find something to turn me off about foster/adopting, but I feel stronger about it now. Of course, I can't do anything until I'm divorced and have a bigger place, so that'll probably be after the first of the year.

07-18-2011, 07:41 AM	#1
Lindsey Donating 4WT Talker Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Saskatchewan Posts: 3,764	Sandy, I have to agree with Gayle on all points! My great-aunt fosters children. Some of these kids are in such horrible condition when they come to her. One was born to a heroin-addicted mother, and the baby was addicted itself, and my aunt had to give the baby morphine and wean her off it. She gave the baby a chance at a better life, because she would not be alive otherwise. One of her fosters, nicknamed "Lucky" was born with heart problems and had to have open heart surgery within days of being born. He survived. My aunt fostered him for 3 years, and then his mother came back and wanted to take him. I think she was able to do that if he wasn't adopted by some point. So, my aunt adopted him. She couldn't stand to see him go back to a mother who could not care for him. Her husband passed away and like you, she didn't want to date again. She had her own little foster family, and grown children and grandchildren as well. She spent a lot of time in Mexico with her sister. Then, she met a man down there and a couple of years later, they were married! He lives up here now and they're a happy family together. I think you just need to follow your heart and happiness will find you eventually! __________________ Lindsey "I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it..." -Marilyn Monroe

07-18-2011, 04:59 PM	#2
Tiramisu Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: New Caney, Texas (outside Houston) Posts: 1,776	Wow, I was so afraid you'd all tell me to live a good single life. I'll go to the meeting and make my decisions. Thanks __________________ SANDY

07-18-2011, 06:03 PM	#3
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,625	Sandy....I think it would be nice to have foster children, but I no longer have the patience I'm afraid. I do want to offer one bit of advice that I've always remembered.... to not do anything after a life changing event such as a death, divorce..etc. for 6 months to a year. It made a lot of sense to me and I've always remembered it. Just something to think about. If it's what's in your heart...then you'd be great at it. __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1

07-19-2011, 05:09 AM	#4
judy Donating 4WT Yakker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Denver, NY Posts: 8,097	Good for you Sandy! Put your toe in all of the waters! You will know what is best for you, and it is wonderful that you are beginning your life as a divorced woman! It can be very exciting to start over, especially when you have life experience and wisdom! Follow your instincts! __________________ *Judy*

07-26-2011, 07:18 PM	#7
Tiramisu Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: New Caney, Texas (outside Houston) Posts: 1,776	I went to the informations meeting this evening, praying that I would find something to turn me off about foster/adopting, but I feel stronger about it now. Of course, I can't do anything until I'm divorced and have a bigger place, so that'll probably be after the first of the year. __________________ SANDY

07-19-2011, 10:28 AM	#5
DianaB Moderator Donating 4WT 13K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Kansas Posts: 16,069	I'm afraid that I agree with Janet. Take some time for yourself to recouperate from your divorce and being single again.......THEN make a decision about this. Take some time first to just become used to the life you have now.....which I'm sure is so different from what you had....before you decide to make such a life changing decision. Good luck!!!

07-19-2011, 03:43 PM	#6
JJJ Donating 4WT Addict Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 1,073	I have never foster kids but I think thats a great idea. I have done the on-line dating before. And I absolutely love it. I do not go there looking for love just friendship. Someone who will take you out to have dinner, movies talk and laugh. Get as many dinner dates as you can. I am very careful and only chat with them on the website. I do not give out my number or e-mail. I meet them at the location and that's it. Most men just want company for a bit. I am very upfront about telling them not to get their hopes up.

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