What is your marital status?

[Ponyup]

Originally Posted by Janet

My choice wasn't there so I had to pick Other. I am so envious of all the ones in good marriages. I've been married 32 years too, but it's not what I expected or hoped for. I long to feel that "connection" and tingle when I see he's home instead of thinking "crap" he's here.

My husband is a good man and is liked by many people. He just hasn't grown any in all this time and just isn't the best of husbands. I don't want to start a downer, but my whole life has not turned out the way I had dreamed of, not even close. I sure wish I could go back and start over and find a true love. I'm just too old now to want to do anything about it and who in their right mind would want a 51 year old overweight woman ?

Can you tell the seasonal depression has started?

Sweetie I wanna come down there & give you a big hug. You aren't too old to change things in your life. I under stand that going out & finding mr. right might not be an option, but you could pick up things you always wanted to do. Hobbies or go back to school. Maybe if you have more things you enjoy & are happier with yourself you will be happier with your husband. You are never to old to take steps to make your life better.

My choice wasn't there so I had to pick Other. I am so envious of all the ones in good marriages. I've been married 32 years too, but it's not what I expected or hoped for. I long to feel that "connection" and tingle when I see he's home instead of thinking "crap" he's here.

My husband is a good man and is liked by many people. He just hasn't grown any in all this time and just isn't the best of husbands. I don't want to start a downer, but my whole life has not turned out the way I had dreamed of, not even close. I sure wish I could go back and start over and find a true love. I'm just too old now to want to do anything about it and who in their right mind would want a 51 year old overweight woman ?

That sounds so familiar. It has only been 15 years for me and I am 34. But I know what you mean. Not a bad life, just not what I had hoped for.

[Miss_Sara]

I picked other because I'm not married but I'm dating someone and I have been for a long time. And marriage is a big part of our discussions, but I don't wnat to get married at 18, even though he wants too.
He has been my best friend since I was about 13, so we're very close, but I always refused to date him until I was 16 and realized I had been living a selfish life and I wasn't making myself happy in the right ways.
I love him so much, and he loves me very much too. A lot of times I think he loves me more than I love him, he knows me very well and knows that I will pull away from him a lot (I have commitment issues) and abandon him. But he always keeps trying. He just knows me so well, that I don't even understand it. He's just too good, you know? My problem is that I'm personally not physically attracted to him, but I try not to think about that, since he's definitly attracted to me!

and best of all, he respects all my decisions about my life, even though he knew me and how I used to act, he respects how much has changed since I found God, and never tries to change it.

[RLC12345678]

Originally Posted by Miss_Sara

I picked other because I'm not married but I'm dating someone and I have been for a long time. And marriage is a big part of our discussions, but I don't wnat to get married at 18, even though he wants too.
He has been my best friend since I was about 13, so we're very close, but I always refused to date him until I was 16 and realized I had been living a selfish life and I wasn't making myself happy in the right ways.
I love him so much, and he loves me very much too. A lot of times I think he loves me more than I love him, he knows me very well and knows that I will pull away from him a lot (I have commitment issues) and abandon him. But he always keeps trying. He just knows me so well, that I don't even understand it. He's just too good, you know? My problem is that I'm personally not physically attracted to him, but I try not to think about that, since he's definitly attracted to me!

and best of all, he respects all my decisions about my life, even though he knew me and how I used to act, he respects how much has changed since I found God, and never tries to change it.

That is wonderful. Does your bf share your religious views? I know that my dad made my hubby and I go on a Christian retreat (separately) before we could get married. We also went through pre-marital counseling with our preacher before we got married. Having God in our relationship is really what holds us together. I love being able to share my religion with my hubby. It's a good feeling.

[Ponyup]

Originally Posted by Miss_Sara

I picked other because I'm not married but I'm dating someone and I have been for a long time. And marriage is a big part of our discussions, but I don't wnat to get married at 18, even though he wants too.
He has been my best friend since I was about 13, so we're very close, but I always refused to date him until I was 16 and realized I had been living a selfish life and I wasn't making myself happy in the right ways.
I love him so much, and he loves me very much too. A lot of times I think he loves me more than I love him, he knows me very well and knows that I will pull away from him a lot (I have commitment issues) and abandon him. But he always keeps trying. He just knows me so well, that I don't even understand it. He's just too good, you know? My problem is that I'm personally not physically attracted to him, but I try not to think about that, since he's definitly attracted to me!

and best of all, he respects all my decisions about my life, even though he knew me and how I used to act, he respects how much has changed since I found God, and never tries to change it.

Your boyfriend sounds similar to my husband. I too have commiment issues & try to push people away. He wouldn't take it from me. He'd come right back. I couldn't get rid of him & now he's my rock & my everything.

I personally don't think physical attraction is the biggest thing. You can't find the person repulsive, but they don't have to be your idea of perfect male specimen either.

[Miss_Sara]

really unfortunately, we don't share the same religious beliefs. he's agnostic (which I used to be) and is always saying that he wants to believe but there isn't enough proof, which I don't understand, because in reality there is a lot of proof. Did anyone here see my post about like 7 scientific facts that God exists? and other than that, I can just feel that there is a God and the fact that when I started believing I felt so much love I thought I was going to burst, proves it.


Ponyup, it's nice to see I'm not the only one with commitment issues. Ya your hubby sounds like my boyfriend, I pushed him away for years but he just never left. Now he tells me "stop being avoidant" because sometimes I honestly don't even realise that I'm using school work as an excuse.


ya I hope you're right about the physical attraction part. It's just that there is none, it's like, blah. idk like I wouldn't have dated him based on looks at all, it's only because I know him so well.

[Tink]

I too chose "other" because none of the above fit.

I married at age 18 and was in that abusive situation for 7 years. When I divorced him, I had no plans on ever marrying again.

4 years later I married my current hubby. It took him 3 years to convince me to marry him. He's basically a decent man, and I have no intention of leaving him, yet we don't have anything like the marriage that I'd wish for. He's an over the road semi driver, so is home only a day each week. We're not close or intimate, even though we have 2 children and 24 yrs together as our history. I feel we're more a business partnership than married, but since I have no interest in ever remarrying and don't want to tear our family apart, I choose to stay where we're at and so does he. Actually, he won't admit there's anything wrong with what we are... so who am I to shatter his denial?

[Janet]

Originally Posted by Tink

I too chose "other" because none of the above fit.

I married at age 18 and was in that abusive situation for 7 years. When I divorced him, I had no plans on ever marrying again.

4 years later I married my current hubby. It took him 3 years to convince me to marry him. He's basically a decent man, and I have no intention of leaving him, yet we don't have anything like the marriage that I'd wish for. He's an over the road semi driver, so is home only a day each week. We're not close or intimate, even though we have 2 children and 24 yrs together as our history. I feel we're more a business partnership than married, but since I have no interest in ever remarrying and don't want to tear our family apart, I choose to stay where we're at and so does he. Actually, he won't admit there's anything wrong with what we are... so who am I to shatter his denial?

I think there are a lot of marriages like yours and mine out there. Quite a few people try to put on a front, so most friends and family have no clue. I know I act like everything is fine, but here, I can be honest and feel you all understand on some level.

I'm not willing to do anything about it either. There are so many things I like to do such as sewing clothes for the babies although I need much more practice and I love woodworking, really any kind of craft. I still havent' tried the beads thing yet. It's just finding the time to do it all. By the time I run the bus route, take care of laundry, the house and the doggies, there is very little time left. When there is...I'm goofing off with my son or watching some relaxing TV.