Mother-in-laws??

[Marilyn]

You've gotten some good advice here. Kimberley, Gina and Rebecca are right on track. You need to take care of your family as you are doing, and let her stew in her own mess. Sometimes we have to wish them well and leave them be. Your children will not miss out on anything from the way it sounds, but your MIL will miss out on them.

We have family that we have chosen not to have contact with. It's sad, but we are much happier because of it. We sometimes feel that we have reset the family. Just started over. Our dear friends are our family.

My MIL was actually a nice lady. Frustrating at times, but overall we had a very good relationship. She is gone now, but I do miss her.

[Mandy]

I don't have a MIL, but what i read is that, she's one sad old lady.
All you have to do is look after your own family and let her be, don't worry about her, and don't let her upset you in any way.
She is missing out, not you.

[Janet]

I've read and reread the posts on this subject, including mine. I'm just so sorry you have to go through this. I guess after losing my FIL and with step-MIL in nursing home, and my mother of 83 years in not the best of health, I'm realizing life is so short.

Have you tried writing her an honest, non-attacking letter? I feel sometimes a letter instead of a confrontation can work really well. I would put everything in it that you posted, including reminding her that she took her hubby away from his mother too. Maybe someday she can enter her grandchildrens life again, there is nothing in the world like grandparents (if they are good grandparents). You don't ever have to be best friends, but if you let her know just how much you love her son, maybe her heart will soften.

I wish you and your family the very best, no matter how you chose to handle it.

[khardy57]

My MIL didn't like me when my late husband and I got married. Since he's died, I've gone thru hell with my inlaws and my husband's brother. I'll be glad when everything is all settled and I can cut all ties with them.

[Janet]

So sorry about your husband's passing and that you are having a difficult time with the in-laws. Sure hope things get worked out for you real soon.

[khardy57]

Originally Posted by Janet

So sorry about your husband's passing and that you are having a difficult time with the in-laws. Sure hope things get worked out for you real soon.

Thank you. If it weren't for my family, I don't know what I'd do. My MIL is riding both sides of the fence and right now the brother in law doesn't speak to me at all. (That just breaks my heart! ) If my husband knew how they were acting, he'd beat the s*** out of his brother and disown his parents! He worked himself to death trying to take care of them and still do everything at our house. (We lived on a 250 ac farm and he did everything himself and still worked for the state of Georgia) I am very bitter because I feel that if his brother had taken any responsibility for the farm and his parents, Mark would still be with me. He was the love of my life.

I am sorry you ladies are having in law problems, I'm one of the lucky ones, I love my mil..and when my fil passed away ..that was just as hard as when my dad passed away.