Mother-Daughter relationships

[Brooke]

Well I was abused as a kid...my parents divorced and my Dad wound up just not calling one day. We didn't know if he was alive or dead for many years. it turned out he was alive and he came back into our lives for a long time then left again!!!

My Mom beat the living daylights out of my sisters and I...She was alos loving when we were little. She had a terrible temper so we never knew what would set her off...never knew if she was gonna TURN or not. It was like walking on egg shells.

To my mom I was so pretty and smart at times, but other tiems a stupid, moron, idiot, dope... No wonder my self estem has been so screwed up!!!

As teens my sisters and i never got hugs... never got an I LOVE YOU... I think once we got older she didn'tknow how to show her love. The good thing was she stopped beating us as teens too!

My Mom has ALWAY manipulted me and my sisters... As adults we deal with guilt trips. She tries to tell us what to do and how to do it. She got sick about 10 years ago and was ordering me around like crazy... Soemthing snapped in me and I have not been the same since. Now when she pushes I back away. I dont call often and she seems to know now I have my limit as far as what I will put up with. I know she thinks I am a horrible daughter for not taking better care of her but I don't care.. I have to take care of myself first...

The up side of all this is I am SO close to my kids. My daughter is 18 and my son is 22. They get tons of hugs all the time. I love yous overflowing. WE talk about every little thing and I tell them how wonderful and smart they are and I mean it! I think having the bad childhood I did has made me a much better parent and I don't know if I would change it if I could... My heart goes out to the underdog because I am one... I am compasionate and loving and giving because of what I went through as a kid and that really can't be ALL BAD! You always gotta look for the good in the tough times!!!

[Brooke]

Reading back on this I think it is only fair to tell you I know my Mom loves us... She just doesn't know how to show it at times... She was a huggable loveable mom also...she just would snap and hit us so we neer knew wht was coming next!...I know I didnt have a great childhood but in the big picture others are worse off!!! Just to be fair!

[Janet]

Originally Posted by Brooke

Reading back on this I think it is only fair to tell you I know my Mom loves us... She just doesn't know how to show it at times... She was a huggable loveable mom also...she just would snap and hit us so we neer knew wht was coming next!...I know I didnt have a great childhood but in the big picture others are worse off!!! Just to be fair!

Isn't it strange Brooke how both you and I were honest about our childhood and mother and then repost, basically saying the same thing, that we knew we were loved and vice versa. We still have this guilt at times as adults. I don't feel near as guilty as I use to. I've made peace with how things were and I think that helped ease some of the guilt. It wasn't our fault. It's just how it was. I think it made both of us who we are today and I think we're pretty darn good mothers, friends and daughters, in spite of it all.

[khardy57]

Brooke and Janet:

I read your posts and all I can say is you both turned out well. Brooke is close to her children and so are you, Janet. I've always believed that everything happens for a reason so maybe that's what made you both the good people you are today.

Maybe seeing the mistakes that your mothers made helped you both to be better mothers because you aren't repeating those behaviors.

God bless you both

Kim

[Brooke]

Originally Posted by Janet

Isn't it strange Brooke how both you and I were honest about our childhood and mother and then repost, basically saying the same thing, that we knew we were loved and vice versa. We still have this guilt at times as adults. I don't feel near as guilty as I use to. I've made peace with how things were and I think that helped ease some of the guilt. It wasn't our fault. It's just how it was. I think it made both of us who we are today and I think we're pretty darn good mothers, friends and daughters, in spite of it all.

Yeah Janet,

I think that the Lord has a way of taking the bad and working it for good...In this case we turned out to be good Mom's and that is worth everything to me! I don't feel as guilty any more either... I think it must be an age thing...LOL