Just Not Going To Work!

[Janet]

Thanks Michelle. I'm not ready to write her off just yet. My Mom would never do the things you mentioned yours did. It's just that mine is very selfish. She wants things done for her...nice compliments made to her. She doesn't do that to everyone else. Never would babysit (unless absolute emergency), said she raised hers, she wasn't raising ours. She is just very thoughtless and doesn't go out of her way for anyone except for one lady friend she has who is almost blind.

If you try to help her...it has to be on her time, her way. I'm just tired of the bickering and the way I feel when I'm with her and after I leave her. She leaves for Florida on the 5th and stays until the end of April. Maybe I'll find a way to get a newer strength to be able to tolerate it while she's gone. I just have to keep praying.

[Brooke]

I know how you feel janet... I have such a hard time with my mom and I am the only one who lives near her so I am the one she calls when things go wrong... She drives me crazy and we fight a lot, but since I have gotten to the point where I stick up for myself and do what I want she has backed off a bit... It is SOOOO HARD! I do the best I can so I don't feel guilty some day!!! But it might kill me in the mean time!!!

[Janet]

I haven't talked with Mom since I took her to the Dr. I'm sure she'll call New Year's day. She always does and tells me what I should be fixing for dinner...some kind of wilted green stuff so we'll have money during the year. I tell her every year that we don't like it...and she thinks we're nuts. You can see how much I block things out when I can't even remember what that stuff is called.

I spoke with a man last night who lives across the street from her and he was saying she has started looking so much older. I honestly thought the same thing on Wednesday. I will do something I haven't done in recent past years, but I will go in and tell her bye and to enjoy her time in Florida. I really don't think she'll make it home. I mentioned that to the man I was speaking with and he said he really didn't thing she would either, but didn't want to tell me so and if that was the case at least she would be somewhere she enjoys being. She loves her place in Florida. I guess only time will tell....

[Gina]

Janet from what you tell us your mother does sound like a very selfish lady, she does love you and your family but probably doesn't know how to show it. She will be gone for a few mts. I don't know if you speak to each other while she is in Fla. if not being she is old , act like nothing has happened when you do speak. You both need the reprieve from each other. When she gets back in April , you both will forget this fight. Like the others have mentioned she is up in age, try to ignore her ways, I know that its easier said than done.

Happy New Year!

[Janet]

Yes, I do know she loves me and my family, I have no doubt and we do love her...really. It just seems like she wants to have confrontation...and I don't know why. For 2007, I know I will be trying not to fall into that trap. Thank you all for the advice....I'm going to try to start the new year off with a better attitude and understanding for my mother.

[Tink]

Janet, I'm sorry this is to difficult.
Family can be so challenging! I can understand not wanting to write your Mother off regardless of how hard she is to deal with. I think you're right in trying to just make the best you can of the situation since she's not likely to change no matter what you say or do.

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by Janet

I spoke with a man last night who lives across the street from her and he was saying she has started looking so much older. I honestly thought the same thing on Wednesday. I will do something I haven't done in recent past years, but I will go in and tell her bye and to enjoy her time in Florida. I really don't think she'll make it home. I mentioned that to the man I was speaking with and he said he really didn't thing she would either, but didn't want to tell me so and if that was the case at least she would be somewhere she enjoys being. She loves her place in Florida. I guess only time will tell....

Janet, if you really don't think that she'll ever be cominig back home then I would definately make an effort to make sure that she knows that you love her and say everything that you would want to say to her. Maybe write her a letter and tell her the things that you are proud of her for. You may never have that chance to tell her. Don't leave things the way they are.

My Dad died so suddenly. We knew that he wasn't in good health and I knew that he could go any time, but he had emphysema and I thought that he would linger with his breathing, but it ended up that his heart gave out and he was alone when he died. I told him often that I loved him but there were other things that I would have liked to have said too.

[Janet]

Originally Posted by DianaB

Janet, if you really don't think that she'll ever be cominig back home then I would definately make an effort to make sure that she knows that you love her and say everything that you would want to say to her. Maybe write her a letter and tell her the things that you are proud of her for. You may never have that chance to tell her. Don't leave things the way they are.

My Dad died so suddenly. We knew that he wasn't in good health and I knew that he could go any time, but he had emphysema and I thought that he would linger with his breathing, but it ended up that his heart gave out and he was alone when he died. I told him often that I loved him but there were other things that I would have liked to have said too.

I've thought seriously about your advice. I may do what you suggest..I just don't know yet. I know it would end up in a confrontation of some sort, so I'll consider it a little bit more, see if I can find a way that won't get a smart remark from her.