I'm Ticked

[Tink]

I'm sorry you're unhappy about this. I think the only way to deal with it is to be honest and open about how you're feeling, which it does sound like you're doing.

My hubby adores my best friend. They hug and joke around like old pals, and I'm just glad they sincerely like each other! She is much prettier than I am, is very outgoing and fun... but I'm not jealous because I know neither of them are the type of person who would have any respect for themselves if they cheated.

Hubby is an over the road semi driver, so is gone most of the time. He is friends with female drivers who he has called and have called him on the rare time that he's home. Only once did it bother me, and that time it turned out I was right... Greg didn't have shady motives. but the woman did! Once he figured out what she was interested in with him, he told me and cut off ties with her right away. She used to do some modeling, was a college professor, and just seemed to have it ALL going on. Yet she wasn't able to lure Greg into something he didn't feel right about.

I really think either someone is trustworthy or they aren't... if they are, you really have little to worry about. If they aren't, being jealous isn't going to change them one iota.

HUGS
I hope this turns out well for you.

[Ponyup]

Originally Posted by Tink

I really think either someone is trustworthy or they aren't... if they are, you really have little to worry about. If they aren't, being jealous isn't going to change them one iota.

Thanks for this. He is a good guy, he treats me well & he's very trustworthy & we do everything together. You're probably right, it's just hard to tell yourself not to feel something. I'm a very emotional person & even though I know in my head he would never cheat, I have a hard time convincing my feelings of that fact.

[rivermom]

I am trying to think of myself in your position and how Id feel. Honestly, if I knew hubby was text msg'ng a female that I was not friends with I doubt Id be happy with it.

Hubby and I both have "couple" friends. Once in a great while I will call the guy friend but it's normally because hubby tells me too since he didn't have time. And usually there is a reason for such call.

And personally I have a guy buddy but both hubby and I are friends with. I contact him on a regular basis because it's horse related and my horse is in his care. Yes, we have hung out a time or two down at the river but there have always been other folks around. But...I don't sit and call him or text him "just to chat".

I realize it all depends on the situation at hand and in no way do I want to say no or yes to your situation. But honestly, a womens intuition is very STRONG. And if you are uncomfy w/ the situation then I feel you have every reason to stop that situation. Your marriage comes first, friends second imo. If ANY friend ever came between hubby and I, Id have to confront the situation and make changes to please my marriage. At times, it has called for losing a friend.

I do agree with the other posts in that it would be best to completely open up to hubby about it and express your feelings. There's a reason for your jealousy and I seriously doubt it's just because she is attractive.

I hope it all works out in the end because bottom line is the two of you are the priority, all else falls second.

[Marilyn]

Originally Posted by rivermom

I realize it all depends on the situation at hand and in no way do I want to say no or yes to your situation. But honestly, a womens intuition is very STRONG. And if you are uncomfy w/ the situation then I feel you have every reason to stop that situation. Your marriage comes first, friends second imo. If ANY friend ever came between hubby and I, Id have to confront the situation and make changes to please my marriage. At times, it has called for losing a friend...........

OMG! First off for this lady to open up to your hubby about her sex life is totally uncalled for and not appropriate whatsoever! No male and female should EVER discuss personal information about the sex life within their own marriage to another male or female. What happens in the marriage bedroom is to stay in the marriage bedroom unless all couples involved kinda just chat/joke about it. But in this ladies situation to be opening up to your hubby just aint cool at all.

Adding booze to the situation just makes it all the worst. Don't even get me started on this subject. WOW

I completely agree with Sheryl's comments above, and Angie's also. Your husband and this woman are playing with fire here. I've seen it all too many times. You are doing the right thing to "nip it in the bud". Bad things can start so innocently. Even if your husband doesn't cheat physically with this woman, he may be doing so mentally. Better to end a friendship than lose your marriage.

Hope all this works out well for you and strengthens your marriage in the process.

[Mandy]

I agree with whats been said above! Talking to your husband about their sexlife is plain wrong, and definatly uncalled for!
Talking about sex to the oposite sex is playing with fire, especially when there is booze involved. If she needs to talk about it, surely she can discuss the issue with a female friend.
I have to agree, its better to lose a friend, than your marriage. Stop the situation while you can, and while you can still control it!!

Good luck, and please keep us posted.

[Ponyup]

We went for a walk & talked last night, I truely believe he is innocent in all this, but I explained how it looked & how it made me feel & he understands. He brought up the fact that her husband & I talk on IM during the day. I explained that that was different because her husband & I have been friends since highschool & usually we just talk to make plans for the weekend. Sometimes he tries to turn it sexual (just because he's a guy) & I nip it in the bud. I guess I just got worried because I've been in relationship before that weren't going good & I met this a guy that was so nice & listened to me & one thing let to another. I'm just afraid they might get into a bad situation. My husband is very naive in the relationship world. He never had a relationship before me & I know he thinks he's just being her friend, which is nice, but if she unhappy in her relationship & then they become close, etc.. As of right now I think we can still be friends with them as a couple. I wouldn't hang out with her husband alone & I made it quite clear he is not to have contact with her that I don't know about. So hopefully this will all go away.

I think the reason I'm jealous is because I used to be a cheater. I've never cheated on my husband & I won't, but i've been there. In a Bad relationship, meet a nice guy that will listen, & it leads to something else. I trust my husband would never come on to her, but I don't know what he'd do if she came onto him. Honestly in my heart I believe he would stop it & leave. I actually just realized that I truely believe that, he knows that would hurt me & he hates to hurt me. I guess I really got upset over nothing.

[Mandy]

You didnt get upset over nothing girl. You know what "can happen" and saw the warning signs, its a good thing you reacted on it, and cleared things up with your hubby. He sounds like a great guy, and i dont blame you for your actions.
Glad you guys sorted this out!