|
|
 |
05-29-2007, 08:06 AM
|
#1 |
|
Donating 4WT 2000 Club Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Rural Wisconsin
Posts: 3,707
 |
A young priests first mass
The young priest was so afraid at his first mass that he could hardly speak. Before his second week in the pulpit, he asked the monsignor, "How can I relax?"
The monsignor, a veteran of his work, said, "My son, this Sunday it might help if you put a martini in the water pitcher instead of water. After a few sips, everything should go smoothly." Sunday came and the young priest did as the monsignor suggested. He believed everything went very well. After the sermon, the young priest asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "Just fine, except you should remember the following before addressing the congregation again: "Next time, sip the martini rather than gulping it down. "There are 10 Commandments, not 12. "There are 12 disciples, not 10. "David 'slew' Goliath, he didn't 'kick the s*** out of him.' "We don't refer to the Cross as the 'Big T.' "We don't refer to our Savior Jesus Christ and his Disciples as 'J.C. and the boys.' "We don't refer to the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit as the 'Big Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.' "Next Sunday, there is a taffy-pulling contest at Saint Peters, not a 'peter-pulling contest at Saint Taffy's.' "The idea of a drive-in confessional is excellent, but the sign, 'Toot-n-Tell or Go to Hell' has to go. "Last, but not least, we say The Virgin Mary, not the 'Mary with the Cherry.'"
__________________
'A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in.. And how many want out.' England 's Prime Minister Tony Blair' |
|
|
|
05-29-2007, 08:12 AM
|
#2 |
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 612
|
I am going to have to send this to my hubby! Thanks, I needed a laugh. lol
__________________
  MICHELLE
|
|
|
|
|
05-29-2007, 08:17 AM
|
#3 |
|
Moderator
Donating 4WT 18K Club Member 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: INDIANA
Posts: 21,624
 |
I've seen this one and laughed just as hard as I did the first time!!!..LOL
__________________
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1 |
|
|
|
|
05-29-2007, 08:44 AM
|
#4 |
|
Donating 4WT 4000 Club Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 6,509
|
Oh my! Too funny!!
__________________
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~MT |
|
|
|
|
05-29-2007, 10:59 AM
|
#5 |
|
Donating 4WT 4000 Club Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Who cares!
Posts: 4,587
|
Good one! Thanks for the laugh LOL
__________________
 Many people will walk in and out your life, but only true friends leave footprints!
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2007, 04:44 PM
|
#6 |
|
Moderator
Donating 4WT 13K Club Member 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Kansas
Posts: 16,069
|
Ok, I really got to laughing on this one!!! Very funny!!!!
__________________
*´¨) ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Diana Baker ✞ You and I are friends.......
Always remember that if you fall I will pick you up...... After I stop laughing!!! |
|
|
|
 |
| Bookmarks |
|
|
Linear Mode
