What to do...

[Lindsey]

I was just thinking about this some more... and maybe he doesn't really hate the dog, but hates me constantly telling him he can't do whatever he's doing. He plays rough with his dogs. So when he used to play with Layla and start getting a little rough I'd be like "Be careful of her back, that's hard on it" or "Don't hurt her legs!" or "That's scaring her!" So maybe now he just wants to not be around her at all. He's very very stubborn, and so am I. I know he hates to be wrong (what guy doesn't?!) so maybe this is just his way of acting out at me. It just came about so suddenly that I really can't make myself believe that he just started not liking her and being so expressive about it out of nowhere.

[Gina]

Lindsey, think of it ,Layla is your baby. If you had a human baby you would want your boyfriend to accept her or he be on his way. You can't make someone love your dog but he shouldn't be cruel to her either. I hope that your relationship works out with this guy, if not Layla will be the one comforting you when it is over.

You need to come to some happy medium, like most said I do to think that he is jealous of this little dog. Some men are stupid, love comes in different forms and there is plenty to go around. Lindsey you have to step up to the plate, compromise but don't let it come to me or the dog...

[Lindsey]

Thanks Gina. I know if he ever made me choose between him or the dog, Layla would win hands down. He knows that, and he said he would never ask me to get rid of her because he knows how happy she makes me.
This weekend I am going back home for the first time since Christmas. My parents won't be around (and Kyle's not ready to meet them yet anyway!) Anyways... I asked my new roommate if she would mind if I left Layla at home for the weekend. Kyle and I will get a whole weekend to ourselves and maybe we can just go out to the lake and get away from all the stress and just have a regular talk without yelling or getting frustrated. I guess I'll see how this weekend goes and then decide if there's any future for us...

[judy]

Lindsey,

When I was divorced the first time, my daughter was 7 months old. We were a package deal, of course. There were no concessions to be made because she absolutely came first, being such a young child.

It taught me a lot. The most important thing I learned was that there is no right or wrong, and the reasons don't really matter. What matters is if it the relationship works easily.

The other thing I learned was that if my needs weren't being met - in this case - around my daughter, then I wasn't happy. My needs became very important to me
because I deserve to be happy. I'm not talking about a Paris Hilton kind of lala land where every need is met, but some things are just basic.

I met my second (ex) husband and he fell right in about my daughter, who he loved in the same way I did. We've been divorced for about 10 years now, and he's still my daughter's "father." They're so close. So, not only my needs were met, so were his, and so were my daughter's.

Good luck with your boyfriend. I hope it works out well.

Judy

[Tink]

I agree with Judy.
If someone isn't making your life happier by being in it, you need to ask yourself WHY you want them. If you can adjust to putting Layla second, fine. If you can't, then you need to find someone who won't expect you to.

The only right or wrong about it is how YOU feel about it.

[Lindsey]

Well, I think things are looking up. Kyle and I spent the whole weekend together with no distractions.. no friends, no Layla, nobody. I took him back to my hometown and showed him where I grew up, where I worked, where I went to school... On Saturday we went out to my cabin and spent the whole day laying on the beach and then made supper together and cuddled and watched tv because we were both too lazy to make a fire and sit outside! We had a great time. I smiled all weekend. I've opened up to him so much, we were even belting out oldies in the car! I never ever sing in front of anyone, not even my friends!
Yesterday I came home and Layla was so happy to see me. My roommate and I went out shopping because she needed some fish food, so I replaced one of Layla's favourite toys that she chewed a hole in, and she hasn't put it down yet! She slept on my bed last night, and woke me up this morning by throwing her new toy off the bed and then chasing after it. I think maybe for now I just need to seperate my time with Kyle and my time with Layla. I guess I'll just see how it goes...

Lindsey, my fiance was never an animal person so that always worried me. But things changed when he first met Coco. He instantly fell in love and he loves the new little boy we got together. I never thought he'd want to get another one but he did. But because I made compromises for him along the way because he compromised for me. Coco would sleep in our bed, come out with us, and he'd walk her, feed her, clean up after her when I couldn't. So he put a lot of his feelings aside for me and Coco so when Rocco came we made new compromises together. They now sleep together instead of with us, which is comfortable for all involved. The pups dont care, we're not squished so it works out. We also gate them up to eat their own food when we're eating lunch or dinner, because they were constantly jumping all over us during meal time. So my point is you may not find someone who is also a HUGE dog lover, but you make compromises along the way for each other. But the compromise is not a one way street. You can bet your booty that if my fiance wasn't as giving I wouldn't be either and vice versa. So there's nothing wrong with compromising as long as it's fair and on both ends. Yes as much as we would like to deny it, men do often get jealous of the attention and amount of time we give our little ones, if we're not giving nearly as much to them, which is fair. So be sure to have Lindsey and Kyle time along together and then Lindsey, Kyle and Layla time. We spend a lot of time walking with our dogs and playing in the park and at home, that way we don't feel as bad when him and I just wanna go out just the two of us.