How do I tell him??

[Gina]

Your not a bad person at all for wanting your husband to be back in shape, and that you are not attracted to him like you once were. If memory serves me right you had some issues awhile back with the tattoos and so on. For one, my husband and myself are both in shape , don't get me wrong I gained on and off through the years since I have been married , but always manage to get it off. My husband has not really gained any weight he walks a lot and his takes after his dad they eat all they want and not gain weight.

The point I am trying to relay to you is that yes becoming heavy can turn off someone sexually, but put yourself in his place. If you were the one gaining the weight and he didn't want to be intimate with you how would you feel?. It is hard to lose weight, maybe you should motivate him, like some suggested. Walk with him after dinner, cook differently change his eating habits, he is not a child but men usually need to be led by the hand. As I mentioned in the begining I think there are other issues here and you are not being honest with yourself. I can be wrong and I hope that I am, reading your past posts I think there is more than you are admitting... Regardless I think you should talk to him and express your feelings. Good luck

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by Gina

The point I am trying to relay to you is that yes becoming heavy can turn off someone sexually, but put yourself in his place. If you were the one gaining the weight and he didn't want to be intimate with you how would you feel?. It is hard to lose weight, maybe you should motivate him, like some suggested. Walk with him after dinner, cook differently change his eating habits, he is not a child but men usually need to be led by the hand. As I mentioned in the begining I think there are other issues here and you are not being honest with yourself. I can be wrong and I hope that I am, reading your past posts I think there is more than you are admitting... Regardless I think you should talk to him and express your feelings. Good luck

Good comment, Gina. I was going to make about the same remark. How would you feel if the tables were turned and it was you who had gained the weight? Work with him and find a solution that works for you two. Remember that there's more to a person than just the packaging.

To be honest, if you have tried hinting, cooking better, and suggesting working out together, I think it's now time to just tell the truth. I think you not wanting to be intimate with him is probably hurting his feelings more than just telling him that you just don't feel as sexually attracted to him as you once were before he gained weight. I am a firm believer in honesty, even if its a little brutal. It serves no one good to beat around the bush. You'd be surprisd at how well people can take the truth sometimes. Maybe it's something he already knows and feels but doesn't want to admit.

[toodles]

Originally Posted by Gina

Your not a bad person at all for wanting your husband to be back in shape, and that you are not attracted to him like you once were. If memory serves me right you had some issues awhile back with the tattoos and so on. For one, my husband and myself are both in shape , don't get me wrong I gained on and off through the years since I have been married , but always manage to get it off. My husband has not really gained any weight he walks a lot and his takes after his dad they eat all they want and not gain weight.

The point I am trying to relay to you is that yes becoming heavy can turn off someone sexually, but put yourself in his place. If you were the one gaining the weight and he didn't want to be intimate with you how would you feel?. It is hard to lose weight, maybe you should motivate him, like some suggested. Walk with him after dinner, cook differently change his eating habits, he is not a child but men usually need to be led by the hand. As I mentioned in the begining I think there are other issues here and you are not being honest with yourself. I can be wrong and I hope that I am, reading your past posts I think there is more than you are admitting... Regardless I think you should talk to him and express your feelings. Good luck

no, our relationship isn't perfect, but it is great. yes, we had an issue with me getting a tattoo, but we worked it out.

don't get me wrong, I am intimate with him. but i am not as attracted to him as i feel i should be. He wouldn't ever tell anyone he is neglected in the intimacy department. I just wish I could be more "into" it i guess.

you are all right, i just need to talk to him about it. I have tried to, but I don't think he is really understanding that I am serious. I have talked to my best friend about it and she has talked to him a little, in passing, but I think he just takes it as joking around.

I agree that I need to just bite the bullet and talk to him. And yes, if the tables were turned, I would want him to talk to me. so, I will do it.

thanks!!

[Gina]

Good luck!! let us know how it goes ..

[DianaB]

In talking to a man you can't beat around the bush about what you want. They do not have a clue when you don't get right to the point. So just tell your husband very plainly what you're having a problem with.