Sentences based on public humiliation

[judy]

Originally Posted by AngieDoogles

In her situation, I pretty much believe she was socialized to be this way. Brendon says her father is exactly the same. I honestly don't think the prison system could "help" her because she doesn't feel guilt, she doesn't care who she hurts, and she seems to only have one emotion--anger. How can that be cured or changed? I think in her case, prison is simply what she needs to keep her from hurting people, especially her son who still lives at home with her.

I've been watching a lot of Dr. Phil and it sounds like she has the "anger disease." Or, it might have been Keith Ablow's show.

It sounds like she needs meds, but probably won't take them. Probably your best plan would be to keep out of her way. Poor Brendon being raised with her around!
He certainly turned out fine though.

Oh, and I don't believe in public humiliation. Of course, in NYC, who would even notice someone walking around with a sign that they're a shoplifter. Even if we did notice, it's not something most New Yorkers would even process, much less care about.

[Tink]

I had a neighbor/co-worker who I have long since lost track of who's mother taught her and her siblings to shoplift. No WAY would she spend any money on them, so if they wanted something she told them they'd better take it and not get caught. She too was a very odd person (the mother, not daughter). She'd been married many times, stole from anyone unlucky enough to turn their back on her and never felt any of it was wrong.

My neighbor left home at 14 because she felt she would do better on her own. When I met her she was well into her 40's and while she wasn't nearly as bad as her mother... who I did eventually meet, she had some really warped ideas on how to live. At one point she was in court fighting the federal govenment because they were trying to kick her and her tent off federal land where she'd been living for several months. Another time she lived on a beach in her pick up truck and spent her last 5 dollars to buy a bottle of booze.

I got to know her when she married (her first marriage) a man 12 yrs her junior who I worked with on the local ambulance service and lived near. She was interesting, and if she liked you she didn't steal from you, but she did have a very warped sense of entitlment and refused to ever work full time.

So Angie, your MIL isn't alone, but it's hard to deal with people like that for sure.

[katepoet]

The people we know!! The stories we could tell...

I don't believe in shame as a general rule but I do think a very tiny tiny bit helps at a certain stage of child rearing - that it matters how others perceive you or that you are making choices about how you are perceived. I don't mean that how we are seen by others should define us but that we should act respectful of others and sometimes that means dressing differently or maintaining quiet, or other things that make it easier on those around us.

But I do think anti-social people have undiagnosed or untreated illnesses and that there is help for them.