I think it's over.

[Lindsey]

I am going to his house in 15 minutes to talk. I know nobody here agrees with it. I just feel I need to.

[rivermom]

Originally Posted by Lindsey

I am going to his house in 15 minutes to talk. I know nobody here agrees with it. I just feel I need to.

Ya know Lindsey...I am pretty much guessing that none of us members can agree with 100% of what each of us does. But it doesn't mean we are never here to listen if that's what ya need.

[Mandy]

Lindsey, most of us are MUCH older than you, and most of us have had the experience, and think "been there, done that" BUT only you know what you feel, and only you know the finer details. The advice most of us have given you, is from our own experience, and want to guard you from bumping your head like we have done. Bottom line is, these are things that you have to experience yourself, and we are here for you no matter what, you have to do, what you feel is right.

Good luck

[rivermom]

Originally Posted by Mandy

Lindsey, most of us are MUCH older than you, and most of us have had the experience, and think "been there, done that" BUT only you know what you feel, and only you know the finer details. The advice most of us have given you, is from our own experience, and want to guard you from bumping your head like we have done. Bottom line is, these are things that you have to experience yourself, and we are here for you no matter what, you have to do, what you feel is right.

Good luck

Beautifully said Mandy!

[Marilyn]

Lindsey, we are here for you, and we do have lots of life experience with relationships and we do care very much for you and are very concerned about you. I really think you need counseling. You have issues that you need to work out with someone who can give you an objective viewpoint and help you sort things out.

You are a very worthwhile person. You need to learn to stand on your own two feet and not be defined by who you are with. You need to find ways to enjoy life on your own without depending on someone else to be with you all the time.

You need to be able to say goodbye to a man who does not share you goals and interests. He is setting too many priorities over you. Why would you want to spend the rest or even the next few months of your life with someone who treats you like he does. He's sweet one minute and cold the next.

You deserve more than this!!!!!! Please find a counselor to talk to. Maybe a pastor could help, or could advise who you can go to. We all need a little help from time to time.

Know that we are always here for you and that I'm writing this out of care and concern for you wellbeing.

[katepoet]

Hey Lindsey
No matter how the rest of us feel about protecting you and nurturing you so you become all that we can see in you (which is a lot!) you are the one who has to live your life moment to moment. Do what you need to do and we will still be here. It's OK. I get the feeling you don't have anyone else to support you emotionally and are really feeling lonely. What's happening with other people in your life?

[Lindsey]

Okay, I'm going to give you all an update. I made this stupid little card on my computer this morning, saying I miss us being happy, and I want us to try to do what we can to get back to that. Then I drew a little stick person with my hair and a sad face, and an arrow pointing to it that said "me" I went to his house and he wasn't being very receptive for a minute, and then I gave him the card and he tried really hard not to smile, and he said "you're a geek" and he smiled and we talked about everything. We're not going to talk ALL THE TIME anymore, no emails at work or anything, and we're not going to see each other as much as we do, so the time we do have together is a little more special and we'll have things to talk about. This way it's easier for us to do our own activities and have our own lives with our own friends, because I think I was starting to feel smothered by the relationship. I was losing myself.
I know I have to get back into "me" mode. I need to find myself some NEW better friends here. My best friend Tyler hasn't been around much, but lately we've talked more and more and he's a good support for me. He doesn't tell me what to do, but he lets me talk out my problems and he gives advice but never in the "you should do this" sort of way. It's nice to just have a guy's viewpoint on a lot of things, and to know that none of what he says is influenced by jealousy or insecurity or anything that I get from a lot of girl friends around here. Tyler and I have been close since we were 17. He knows me better than I know myself! I really want to spend more time with him.
Another thing I want to do for myself is guitar lessons. I have a guitar but I've never learned to play well. I don't have money for lessons right now, but I'm going to see if I can persuade my parents to pay for a month of lessons for a Christmas present There's a place that does lessons about 2 minutes from my house! I also want to get back into shape. I luckily have my mom's metabolism so I could eat bags chips and chocolate bars for months on end and never gain a pound, but I don't FEEL as good as I used to. I have so much exercise equipment that I never use. I also want to start doing yoga again to feel more in tune with my inner self.
I don't open up to people well, so I've never really been able to push myself to go to counselling. One thing that helps me see things in perspective is writing. I have a journal I used to write in every single night, and now it's more like once every 6 months. I think I owe it to myself to take a few minutes before I go to bed to write in there again. Getting out my feelings and hopes and dreams and frustrations on paper really helps unjumble my mind and sort of destresses my whole life.
I really do appreciate all of your advice and support. I owe a lot to everyone here!
Oh yeah, and after he threw everything in the dumpster, he went back and dug to the bottom of the dumpster to get the bag back. He went through that to get the little bulldog stuffed animal he won for me at the fair this summer, and he gave it back to me tonight.