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Old 11-22-2007, 09:44 AM   #1
DianaB
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A Blue Moment

I'm having a blue moment, actually it's kinda' put a damper on my day. My family wanted to have an open invitation to anyone at church that didn't have anywhere to go today to come to my house. I didn't care if they invited anyone but I didn't want it to just be open to anyone. I already had my son-in-law's aunt and uncle and their family coming besides my own family.

Well, I talked to my Mom on Sunday and she mentioned that she didn't think that my brother had anywhere to go on Thanksgiving so I mentioned it later to my husband and, while he didn't say no, I got the general idea that he didn't want to my brother to come. My brother is very hard for my family to be around because he "puts on a show" for us. What you see is not my real brother. He's been into drugs but, according to him, he's doing better and I've heard that he's really trying. He is my only sibling, which makes it rather difficult since it's just him and me. I love him but I understand why my family feels the way they do.

My brother called on Tuesday to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving and I felt so guilty because I didn't invite him to come. But it ended up that he did have plans. I cried after I got off the phone with him. I just wish that things were different. Anyway I'm just sad that I didn't feel that I could invite him. Life can be so hard sometimes.
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Old 11-22-2007, 10:16 AM   #2
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Awwwww thats a tough one on you, i'm so sorry it's put a damper on your day. Are you close to your brother? Maybe you can make a date with him, and go out for lunch together sometime? ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
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Old 11-22-2007, 11:36 AM   #3
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Diana that is a hard call. Like Mandy suggested sounds wonderful. I don't know the whole picture, but maybe your family can forgive him and if he is no longer doing drugs, have him slowly come back into your lives.


Your a very kind hearted family to extend the invititaion to the whole church, God Bless you. I do hope that your day turns out well.
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Old 11-22-2007, 02:28 PM   #4
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Brothers are hard sometimes. I am sorry that you had to have that old familiar ache at a time when you are celebrating. How nice that he was already welcome in someone's plans. Perhaps you can plan to have him over for next Sunday's breakfast or sometime like that - a more limited meal with places to go afterward so his visit has an endpoint. Perhaps that would be easier on your dh.
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Old 11-22-2007, 03:31 PM   #5
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I can't offer any help because I have the same situation with my granmother. I love her to pieces but there are a lot of reasons why I can't invite her to come. So i understand how you feel. HUGS
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Old 11-22-2007, 04:07 PM   #6
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Diana, I'm so sorry things were not as you envisioned. I understand completely though, I wouldn't want to have an 'open' invitation either. It's sad to say, but in this day and age, you just can't be too careful.

It's strange that the family was willing to have an open invitation to everyone at church, but not your brother. My nephew sounds a lot like your brother. I love him best at a distance. He is my late sister's only child and is 2 years younger than I am.

I really like the idea that maybe you and he can get together by yourselves....breakfast, lunch, dinner, it wouldn't really matter as long as you could just spend some quality time together so you could also get a feel as to how he is really doing.
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Old 11-22-2007, 04:24 PM   #7
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I'm sorry Diana you had a hard moment with this. Situations like these can be sorta tough. Don't know what to say, just know that I'm thinking of ya. **hugs**
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Old 11-23-2007, 01:12 PM   #8
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{{{Diana}}}
Family dealings can be so hard... and depressing.
I'm sorry it had to be that way for you. I think the others have given some good advice... so hopefully you can just spend some time with him by yourself.
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Old 11-23-2007, 01:34 PM   #9
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Today's my brother's birthday and I told him Happy Birthday when I talked to him the other day. He lives a ways from me but I think that maybe I'll go down and do some Christmas shopping and take him out to eat.

Thanks for all of your suggestions. I had a hard time even thinking about it yesterday and would get all teary every time that he came to mind. It really helped to know that he had plans.
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Old 11-23-2007, 03:47 PM   #10
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I'm glad you're feeling a bit better about this situation Diana. Sometimes holidays are just more stressful than they should be. *hugs*
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Old 11-23-2007, 04:35 PM   #11
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Isn't that the truth Angie. Let's hear it for NO MORE STRESSFUL HOLIDAYS!!!
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Old 11-23-2007, 07:18 PM   #12
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Sounds like a good plan, Diana.

This last week, I've been hearing stories of families that have it hard - really hard - I think we are all so fortunate to have all the good that we have, no matter what has been difficult. We are all blessed with so many people who love and respect us.

Sometimes we can't fix things for a few of the ones we love, and we are all such wise women, it can be hard to let go. But good will come in its own time - Lord willing and the creek don't rise!
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Old 11-26-2007, 11:22 AM   #13
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Diana,

I'm so sorry it's difficult with your brother. I think the others' ideas about getting together with him alone is a very good idea. I hope it works out. I think it would help you both a lot.
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