Too much or too little?

[AngieDoogles]

So I really need your advice. Those of you from YT might know this story, but just in case, I'll give you the background. My little girl Maddie came from a very loving home with a very nice family who simply could not keep her and their other two dogs due to their new landlord's policy. (They have now gotten the other yorkie, Tucker, back, but only very recently.)

The mother and 14 year old daughter are both active members of YT. Here's the problem. I just don't know if I am helping or hurting by giving them updates and letting them know how Maddie is doing. Do the pics, videos, and stories make them happy (bringing back good memories and knowing that she is safe, happy, and loved) or do they make them sad (by making them miss her more)? I don't want them to think I am neglecting them by not sharing these stories and pics, but I don't want to make them sad either.

I just feel so sorry for them. I couldn't handle it if I were in their position. I want to make things as easy as possible. I almost sent them pics with their Christmas card, but decided not to because I didn't want to make them sad during the holidays. I received a package from them tonight with a gift for Maddie and one for Marty.

What would you do in this situation??? Keep them updated with as many pics and videos as possible or not send these things so that they don't miss her more?

[Tink]

I love to get updates on my pups from their new families.
I don't know if it would be different if I'd planned to keep them and then later was unable to, but in my situation it's greatly enjoyed.

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by Tink

I love to get updates on my pups from their new families.
I don't know if it would be different if I'd planned to keep them and then later was unable to, but in my situation it's greatly enjoyed.

They had her for a year and then suddenly had to rehome. I don't know if that would make a difference. They say they like updates, but I feel so mean when I post about how much I love her or how well she's doing or even just playful videos. At the same time, I want them to know that I love her SO very much so that they don't worry and they know that she's in a good home and treated like a member of the family. I also want them to know how well she's adjusted--again so they don't worry about her. It's just a hard position to be in and I hate to cause pain. I feel like anything I do will hurt them and they are so nice and have already been through so much.

[Mandy]

Hmmmm.... Angie, i'm sure they love the updates. Maybe if you show them pics, videos once a month? I dont know really.

[rivermom]

Possibly you can just call her and ask. Explain you are in no way trying to cause her ill feelings by writing updates and if it bothers her you will no longer do so.


She will appreciate you thinking of her feelings and wanting to take them into consideration.

[judy]

Originally Posted by rivermom

Possibly you can just call her and ask. Explain you are in no way trying to cause her ill feelings by writing updates and if it bothers her you will no longer do so.


She will appreciate you thinking of her feelings and wanting to take them into consideration.

I totally agree Sheryl. She'll be able to be more honest on the phone than on YT for all the members to see.

I had to rehome a cat years ago and would have loved to get updates on her. I called the new owners, but they didn't call back. I figured they didn't want to feel a connection to her old home, but I'd sure love to know how she was doing.

[DianaB]

They've already said that they like the updates on Maddie, so I would continue to show pictures and videos. I'm sure that they enjoy knowing how much she's being spoiled and loved and in such a good home.

I'm glad to hear that they were able to get Tucker back. I remember this family from when I was on YT.

[Janet]

Yes, since they already said they would like to have updates...maybe just send some once a month or something like that. Not overload them. Plus, they will get to see on YT if you put some extra onces there. I love getting updates about my puppies, but I'm really not sure how I would feel if I had to rehome one of my adults that I've had for a long time and then get updates. I would be so afraid of the regret feeling.

[AngieDoogles]

Thanks for the great advice everyone! I think it helps that they were able to get Tucker back, but I bet they still miss Maddie and Rusty (their lab) SO much. I think I'm going to do updates about once a month like you guys suggested, that seems like a good solution.

[rivermom]

Ooops missed the part where she likes the updates. That's great. I'm sure she's happy to realize that Maddie is in your loving home and makes her feel good. She couldn't ask for a better situation for Maddie.