I need a friend

[Marilyn]

Originally Posted by blowry

... I have put this is Gods hands so many times he is probably sick of hearing from me...I love my husband so much and want him well...I just don't know what to do anymore.....

Never give up on prayer. God never gets tired of hearing from us. We are to pray without ceasing. That does not mean ALL the time, it means don't give up, don't quit going to God in prayer. He wants us to put our burdens on Him. and He does things on His time, not ours, so we must be patient.

Living with anyone can be work at times, I cannot imagine living in your situation. You have a heavy burden to bear. Do find a support group if you can and hopefully he will get on the right meds and stop the drinking.

[judy]

Bi-polar disorder is difficult to treat, but with the right doctor, the right meds can work. I don't know how involved you are in his treatment, but since you are so in love with him, you might want to jump right in there and be very pro-active, getting in touch with his doctor, perhaps finding another doctor, working with him on the meds, etc.

He, of course, has to stop drinking, so perhaps marriage counselling could help with someone else as a mediator. It takes time and patience to find the right meds, so
counselling might help you both get through it more easily.

Good luck with this, and we're all here to support you!

[DianaB]

I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this, Brenda. My Dad had mental problems too. He was paranoid schizephrenic and was probably bi-polar too. I was just looking at the Reader's digest a few days ago and I noticed an ad for the medicine he was on and it was to treat bi-polar. After my Mom and Dad divorced it was up to me to keep an eye on my Dad and I did have to deal with a lot of problems. I think that a lot of it is just getting them on the right meds. Dad was on Abilify and it helped him TREMENDOUSLY!!!! (I didn't realize that Abilify was to treat bi-polar. I thought that it was for his schizephrenia.) He was like a different person and I had a lot of comments from others on how much better he was. It WAS a fight to get him on the meds though and KEEPING him on the meds! I'll be glad to chat with you. I don't know if I can be of any help but I'll do my best. Mental illness is so hard because you can't reason with a mind that just doesn't think clearly.

[blowry]

Originally Posted by DianaB

I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this, Brenda. My Dad had mental problems too. He was paranoid schizephrenic and was probably bi-polar too. I was just looking at the Reader's digest a few days ago and I noticed an ad for the medicine he was on and it was to treat bi-polar. After my Mom and Dad divorced it was up to me to keep an eye on my Dad and I did have to deal with a lot of problems. I think that a lot of it is just getting them on the right meds. Dad was on Abilify and it helped him TREMENDOUSLY!!!! (I didn't realize that Abilify was to treat bi-polar. I thought that it was for his schizephrenia.) He was like a different person and I had a lot of comments from others on how much better he was. It WAS a fight to get him on the meds though and KEEPING him on the meds! I'll be glad to chat with you. I don't know if I can be of any help but I'll do my best. Mental illness is so hard because you can't reason with a mind that just doesn't think clearly.

Thank you DianaB! hubby is bi-polar with a mood disorder. He has been taking Lexapro and Lamictal which is a very good mood stabilizer however, his therapist is only increasing his meds at 25mgs every 2 weeks! This isn't working!!! I have told her and so hasn't hub! but, she will not up him anymore than that...she doesn't want to give him to much at one time incase he has a reaction to it..this way, she said, when he hits a "good place" then she will stop there...in the meantime I want to chock him! I work in a counseling center and, have spoken with our med prescriber, she told me that Lamictal is one of the best mood stabilizers...Hubby is over 200lbs and 6 feet so he isn't a small man...he could certainly take more than 125 mgs of the Lamictal. I guess I just want him the way he use to be quicker than it's happening..

Thank you for input DianaB I am sorry that you have to go through this also...I'm just glad to know that I am not alone

Brenda

[blowry]

Originally Posted by judy

Bi-polar disorder is difficult to treat, but with the right doctor, the right meds can work. I don't know how involved you are in his treatment, but since you are so in love with him, you might want to jump right in there and be very pro-active, getting in touch with his doctor, perhaps finding another doctor, working with him on the meds, etc.

He, of course, has to stop drinking, so perhaps marriage counselling could help with someone else as a mediator. It takes time and patience to find the right meds, so
counselling might help you both get through it more easily.

Good luck with this, and we're all here to support you!

Thank you Judy!

Bi-polar is a horrible thing to have to deal with. I am very involved with his treatment. Matter of fact I am seeing his therapist also...I want to know HOW to deal with this...maybe I am doing something wrong?! I don't know...I try so hard to make things right for him.
You are right...he does need to stop his drinking...he gets very abusive when he is drinking (verbally/emotionally) and...he realizes the next day how much he has hurt me and apologizes for days after! That's when he says he is going to do something about it (his drinking) because he loves me so much that he doesn't want to keep hurting me......until the next time he does it. I have actually told him that he has a drinking problem...he just doesn't see it and thinks because he gets drunk at home that makes it ok....because he isn't OUT and getting drunk. I know he loves me with all of his heart as I love him with all of mine...but mine is breaking right now...just not knowing what to do anymore..Thank you for your good thoughts and kind words and support Judy

Hugs,
Brenda

[blowry]

Originally Posted by Marilyn

Never give up on prayer. God never gets tired of hearing from us. We are to pray without ceasing. That does not mean ALL the time, it means don't give up, don't quit going to God in prayer. He wants us to put our burdens on Him. and He does things on His time, not ours, so we must be patient.

Living with anyone can be work at times, I cannot imagine living in your situation. You have a heavy burden to bear. Do find a support group if you can and hopefully he will get on the right meds and stop the drinking.

I don't know what I would do without God in my life. I pray to him all the time to give me the strength to help Hubby through this as well as giving me the strength to cope with it...Living with a bi-polar isn't easy.

Thank you Marilyn for your concern