**tissue alert** VERY heartwarming

[Janet]

Originally Posted by DianaB

That was wonderful, Tink! Thanks! We're going through something similar with my husband's dad but I don't think that a dog will help. He's just given up on life.

Diana, that is so sad...I hate the thought of someone giving up.

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by Janet

Diana, that is so sad...I hate the thought of someone giving up.

He found out several years ago that he had prostate cancer but decided to not do anything about it. I was really surprised that the family let him do that but it wasn't my decision. This last year he's been having a lot of trouble and has been in and out of the hospital several times. We finally found out that his problems were connected to the prostate cancer. His daughter finally talked him into having a test and the cancer is now in his bones and he's in pain but there's things that can be done to make things better for himself but he doesn't want to do anything about it. The kids finally talked him into going to a doctor yesterday and he's going to be taking some medicine and may have surgery in the future. He's always been so healthy that I think all of this has him depressed and he talks about dying. He makes sure that his life insurance is paid every year even though it's hard to come up with the money to pay for it because he is determined to leave something to his kids. (He's lost all of his farm ground because of the high interest rates and poor money management in the 1980's but he tried to hang on to all the ground until recently.) He's a really great father and grandfather and it's so hard to see him like this.

[Tink]

Diana, I'm sorry you're all having to endure that.
Sadly, Drs don't push very hard to talk older men into having surgery for prostate cancers because it's normally a slow moving cancer and they end up dying of something else before the cancer would have gotten them anyway. I wouldn't be at all surprised if it's the most commonly left UNtreated of the cancers.

We have friends who developed it in their 50s who had treatment and said later they almost wish they hadn't. The hormone treatment often makes them feel like a woman in full blown menopause complete with hot flashes, mood swings and crying at the drop of a hat. The radiation often leaves them impotent and incontinent. It's hard for a man to retain his dignity with any of that going on; and for some that's more important than living longer if that's the way their life will be.

It's a rotten thing to have to deal with, but I'm sure he had his reasons for choosing not to treat it and in spite of where he's at now, he probably wouldn't have done it any differently had he known.

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by Tink

Diana, I'm sorry you're all having to endure that.
Sadly, Drs don't push very hard to talk older men into having surgery for prostate cancers because it's normally a slow moving cancer and they end up dying of something else before the cancer would have gotten them anyway. I wouldn't be at all surprised if it's the most commonly left UNtreated of the cancers.

We have friends who developed it in their 50s who had treatment and said later they almost wish they hadn't. The hormone treatment often makes them feel like a woman in full blown menopause complete with hot flashes, mood swings and crying at the drop of a hat. The radiation often leaves them impotent and incontinent. It's hard for a man to retain his dignity with any of that going on; and for some that's more important than living longer if that's the way their life will be.

It's a rotten thing to have to deal with, but I'm sure he had his reasons for choosing not to treat it and in spite of where he's at now, he probably wouldn't have done it any differently had he known.

I think that when he found out that he had it it was already somewhat advanced. His psa numbers were already high and I think that he was thinking it was slow growing too, but he was more advanced in it then he thought. It's been really hard on my husband's family especially since his Mom's not in the best of shape either so they're actually dealing with both parents right now.

Even without treatment he's experiencing several of the symptoms that you've described. It's just the pits. As I said he's a great father and grandfather. I always wished that my own Dad was more like him.

[Tink]

Could be too that when you're 75 and someone tells you you have cancer and will only live till 85 if it's left untreated you think "10 more years at this age sounds ok" then you blink and you're 84.5 and suddenly that 85 doesn't sounds so old.

[Gina]

Oh Tink what a story it brought tears to my eyes too.. Diana I am sorry to hear about your FIL. My FIL was diagnoised with prostate cancer 10 years ago and he is now 85 and doing well. He goes for treatments every few mts. and it seems pretty contained. It is true when you get this cancer older it does not mutate so quickly. My girlfriend's dad is about 93 and he has it for many many years. I will keep your inlaws in my prayers..

[HALEY]

That was a great story, thanks for sharing.