Our Girls Just Left

[Janet]

I dread the day Ricky leaves. I don't know if I'll be able to handle it well. It makes me so sad that I have to quickly get it out of my mind.

[Tink]

I'm sorry ladies.
And then you have mothers like me who are SO glad to see them go. LOL
I've had friends who just hated when their kids left home, so I do believe I'm the odd man out here.

[Marilyn]

It's almost 10:00, and I'm still crying off and on. I don't know why exactly it's harder this time than before. Melissa turned 21 and is getting married in June. Karen will be working on Saturday's now, so it is possible that this will be the last weekend when both will be home together before the wedding. I really don't know why it is hitting me so hard this time, but maybe this is part of it.

Hubby doesn't get it at all. He's pretty much oblivious to what I'm going through. He was too involved with the NFC playoff game this afternoon.

Maybe going to bed and getting back to work tomorrow will calm me down.

I know I'm feeling sorry for myself when I have so very much to be thankful for. It's really kinda silly and selfish. Thank you for being there to listen to my silliness.

[DianaB]

It's really hard to adjust to having the kids gone and it probably doesn't help that at this time of our life hormones make us cry too. I know that I have days where I cry and can't stop, especially in the past. All it would take is a mean word from someone and I'd start crying and cry all day. I hate to think that you have to go back to work to take your mind off of it but maybe a good rest would definitely help. BTW--Men just don't have a clue!!!!!

I hope that tomorrow is a much better day for you, Marilyn!!!

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by Tink

I'm sorry ladies.
And then you have mothers like me who are SO glad to see them go. LOL
I've had friends who just hated when their kids left home, so I do believe I'm the odd man out here.

I don't think that there's any thing wrong with "mothers like you"! My last daughter, Dae Lynn, that moved out recently was told it was time to get a place of her own. At the age of 25 we had seen her through college where she moved in and out with us depending on where she went to college. She graduated this spring and was ready to move into someplace of her own but we had the flood and all available housing was taken by displaced families so she couldn't find any place to live. Something finally came up for rent with some people that we knew and she jumped right in and rented it. It was really rough with her moving in and out and living on her own. She learned to live on her own and needed to be on her own because she wasn't used to having rules to live by and having a parent tell her once again that her room needed to be cleaned or else!!! I told her many times that she needed to move out. I was kind but she knew that I wasn't kidding. I think that there is definitely a time for them to move out on their own!!!!! It's still hard to think about her having to handle everything on her own but we're still here for her. So see, you're not necessarily the "odd man out"!! I'm riding the fence on this thread!!!!

[Tink]

Marilyn, no need to apologize or feel bad for being honest about your feelings. We all have our days when we need to cry and just get it out. That's just part of being women I think. I cried when Lily left... I cried when my grand dd went home after a few days with me. Sometimes I cry watching commercials! LOL

[Janet]

My heart just goes out to you Marilyn. It makes me think ahead and I know I will be feeling the same as you. Maybe by speaking often and keeping busy will help some.

[Marilyn]

It's not that I don't want them to leave. Karen, our oldest was a lot like Diana's Dae Lynn in many respects. She had been in and out of our home depending on where she went to college, too. When she was home after living away, there were conflicts with rules and I worried about her a lot when she was out late. Karen will turn 23 this year, is attending her 3rd college (she took one course a a 4th but that does not really count). Now she is in a really good place, with a direction and an end to her education in site. She transferred with her employer, and the new branch is not the same as the other one. Much larger, but they don't follow the rules and this is bothering her. She has to make her own way, and is where I want her to be, but it's still hard. If she'd stayed in our home much longer, we'd have been asking her to leave, I'm sure. Tink, this is just life.

Knowing this is not a fix though. I'm still weepy this morning. I just wanted to pull the covers over my head and tell the world to go away, but can't do that. Must get up, go to work. Zoe was barking to be let out. Life must go on and they must grow up.

I need to focus on things like Genesis 27:46 when Rebekah expresses her disappointment and frustration with her daughters-in-law, the wives of Esau. It helps us to realize that none of this is new. Women have been going through these same feelings from the beginning of time. But it's still not easy.

[DianaB]

Come here, Marilyn, you need a big hug! I'll say a prayer that your heart will be comforted.

[Marilyn]

I'm feeling a little better. Got to work and lots going on here today. I'm taking a quick lunch and sneaked on here through Google. This site was blocked but for some reason it's not right now.

Thank you for the hugs and prayers. I'm just being a baby about this. Hubby called earlier checking on me, so maybe he's not as clueless as I thought.

Y'all are wonderful friends!!!!!!

[janc]

No, you're not the odd man out. Me too! I was thrilled to see them go out on their own. They are all doing well, standing on their own 2 feet, and the girls call often, sometimes the oldest calls every day. Bob and I are happy to be alone!

[Tink]

Exactly Janc! My idea of parenting has always been that I will know that I've done ok by them when they're happy to go out the door and build their own lives without needing to lean on me. Maybe that's what bugged me... they didn't seem too eager or happy to take that step. I wanted them to bounce out eagerly... not have to be nudged. LOL

[janc]

My younger daughter was the lazy one. She hated high school and after graduation (barely) didn't like either of her jobs sooo she went in the Army . I couldn't believe she lasted through boot camp. Getting her up in the mornings was a REAL chore. 9 years later (she was out for 2 years- had 2 babies a year apart and a divorce) she's still in the Army and taking flying lessons. She wants to fly helicopters in Iraq! She's been there twice. The older one was climbing out of windows when she was 14, a dropout at 15 or 16 (the school asked her to leave) and has been with her significant other since she was 17. She has 2 kids who she makes tow the line (she's like a drill sergeant) and she's been in college for almost a year! That is a miracle! She wants to be in charge of a Dr. office. She has epilepsy that's been under control for 6 years. She's 35 almost 36. The middle child, my boy, was valedictorian in high school and never got in trouble. He's married and has 1 kid. Life can sure throw some surprises.

[Janet]

I'm glad you're feeling a little better Marilyn. I know it has to be tough. We know they NEED to be out on their own, but when we've had them for so long it's hard to let them leave. I know just when my son is away at a friends house for the weekend or at camp..I get so lonely. But...I also enjoy that time alone so much. Kind of a catch 22.