Too Many Chiefs

[DianaB]

Thanks so much, Cecil.

My husband came home a while ago and he's canceled all of the appointments in Bartlesville and his sister is coming from Nebraska in a few days to get their parents and take them home with her. I think that it's for the best since all of us are bungling idiots in her eyes! My husband said that she's coming to get them before he kills them!!!

It means that she has to take care of every single thing concerning them because she has no one up there to help her out with their care. Her kids are in college and her husband isn't any help. Oh well, that's her concern. Too many chiefs and not enough Indians!!!!!!

[Marilyn]

Diana, I know this must be very hard for you to go through. What a mess. It's so bad that families have to squabble and not get along. Will be praying for you and that it all works out with the most positive solution.

[Janet]

Diana I'm sorry you and your husband have to go through all this. We were very blessed on hubby's side that everyone was willing to pitch in and help, at least the ones that lived locally. The ones out of state wouldn't have helped anyway....too selfish.

It's really tough trying to take care of a parent. I only have my two brothers, but one of my sister-in-laws likes to kind of jump in where she doesn't belong. My brother would just as soon me handle it and so would Mom.

I hope things work out and your husband can still feel a part of their care.

[DianaB]

He doesn't seem to be bothered by it. He's had to deal with their strong personalities his whole life. If he felt very strongly about something he'd make himself heard. He's not a push-over, just easy to get along with. I just hate that they make it seem like he's incompetent. His whole family including aunts and uncles on his mother's side are all very prideful and difficult. Anyway it makes for very interesting family get-togethers!!!!!

[judy]

Dear Diana,

Your FIL and your family will be in my prayers. I hope he'll be just fine and the treatment they decide upon works just fine.

As far as your husband being considered incompetent, it is my belief that leaders (his sister for example) who do not know how to delegate are incompetent!

I love what Dr. Phil says. "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?"
Of course, you and your husband are right, but pray for his Dad and be happy that you are free to do that.

[Tink]

My prayers are with you all Diana.
Both my Dad and FIL died suddenly so there was no chance for anyone to take care of them. My mom thank God is is very good shape and MIL is doing very well for her 80+ yrs as well. I'm sure if something happens so MIL needs help, Gregs bro and sisters will charge to her side so we won't really be involved. With my Mom it will be a different matter since my oldest dd (a nurse who lives 4 blocks from mom) and I am usually the ones she comes to... So far we haven't had to deal with this.

I hope things improve there. It IS hard... and some more domineering personalities can just make it that much harder.

[Gina]

Diana my prayers are with you and your FIL. I was my parents main caretaker and its not easy taking care of eldery parents. I have brothers one lived an hr. away and the other brother was local. He use to come by and visit that was it. I took them to drs. etc.. It seems that your SIL is a take charge type of personality and it is her parents, so if she wants to bring them to her home. The rest of the family really can't say anything. Its her decision and as long as she doesn't complain thats it all on her. Don't worry about it. If she complains then the rest of the siblings can shut her up.

Good luck to your FIL.