Direction Please

i have spoken to his parents and they said if my daughter would leave him alone and stop calling him there would'nt be a problem. guess i'm not going to get much of anything out of them

[Tink]

I'm sorry his family isn't more help.

The bad thing about inviting social services into your life is that once they're IN, you're stuck with them. Out of desperation I tried that with one of mine and ended up regretting it majorly. So quite seriously I'd save that as a last resort... in our case they did more damage than good.

thank you so much for replying to me.the comments are great.i'm trying to do all i can to stop her from doing this.as one lady said she would have beat them with an inch of their life. thats one thing i won't do.so far i have done other things as i said in comments. i tell her that i love her and i want her to help me understand why she is doing this and hope there is something we can do to make changes together

they make alarms you can put on the door. you might try that. However, irregardless of what the counselor said, I think I would put her on a pallet in my room until she grows up some. She may hate you for it, but she'll get over it. and truly even if she dont, as long as she is safe....
kids are like dogs, they need boundaries.
Are you married? Perhaps the dad and you can take turns sitting outside her room. I hope you come up with a plan!

[pearl]

i don't have any answers. just keep in counseling and do what you are doing. hormones and rebellion overtake them.
i would get her on birth control if possible. she may not be reliable taking the pill, but maybe the shot. it may sound like permission, but i believe it's protection at this stage.
some day she may wake up and take a better path.
you must be sleep deprived too!!!
i have been in the past on a "parents of teens" forum through ivillage.com. many many moms on there, they may have advice too!

[pearl]

that pallet idea is a good one! but make her sleep on it...LOL

Originally Posted by pearl

that pallet idea is a good one! but make her sleep on it...LOL

My thought EXACTLY!!!

[pearl]

wish they made electronic doors and windows like doggie doors, only unlocked by those wearing a collar. and you don't give the kid a collar.

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by hkw8881

thank you so much for replying to me.the comments are great.i'm trying to do all i can to stop her from doing this.as one lady said she would have beat them with an inch of their life. thats one thing i won't do.so far i have done other things as i said in comments. i tell her that i love her and i want her to help me understand why she is doing this and hope there is something we can do to make changes together

I wasn't telling you to beat your daughter. I was a very strict parent to my children and the punishment for doing something like sneaking out would have been very harsh. My kids have often observed other children's behavior and commented that "We would have never acted like that. Mom would have killed us!" As I said, I was very strict but as my children grew I received many compliments on their behavior. We've never had drug, alcohol, or discipline problems.

[Gina]

I do sympathize with you. I have two children boy 23 , daughter will be 21. Like Diana thank God I never had problems with school , drugs, alcohol, or discipline problems. I to was a strict mom, and wouldn't tolerate answering back etc. to this day my daughter may get mouthy but I put her right in her place.

She never ran away, so I have not been in your shoes. How would I handle it, not very well . I think I would keep her in my room and if she did take off at that young of age, I probably would hit her or pull her hair, sorry sometimes they need that. I would put the fear of God into her. I don't understand with whats going on in the world don't these kids have fear? of whom they may meet up with and the horrible stories that you hear. I would sit and make her read the newspapers and watch the news and show her what can happened if she meets up with the wrong person. Just a suggestion.

thank you all very much for your help. she has'nt be sneaking out for two weeks now.working on the third week.counseling is going well.my daughter and i have been talking alot about her actions and working on solutions.so far so good. we pray and talk alot. every one here has been wonderful.its been great to have a place to vent.

[pearl]

i'm so glad to hear that!!!!! keep up the good work, it would be such a hard thing to deal with.

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by hkw8881

thank you all very much for your help. she has'nt be sneaking out for two weeks now.working on the third week.counseling is going well.my daughter and i have been talking alot about her actions and working on solutions.so far so good. we pray and talk alot. every one here has been wonderful.its been great to have a place to vent.

It's good to hear that things are better. So many times people ask questions but never let us know how things are going. Communication is so important!