Opinions needed!

[Amber_lv]

I think for sure she should know how to do everything but not to serve a man she should learn for her and for future kids lol! The mil thing OMG i would have told her to get off her lazy a$$ and server her own husband damn i hate that well just teach her but make it clear to your hubby how he is treating her is wrong and he is not teaching her to be strong and independent

[rivermom]

I wanted to add from my previous post on this....Growing up my Mom worked over full time hours outside of the home and still did EVERYTHING in that house. Of course us kids helped out as expected.

The downfall was my Dad never helped my Mom in the house. Male chauvinist all the way. His belief was that the woman did all the inside work, and the man did all the outside work. And that's how it went, brother mowed the grass and I helped cook and clean.

Well, now as my Dad has aged he feel tremendous remorse for those beliefs and making my Mom feel overwhelmed with all her expected duties. He knows he could never make that up.

As a grown woman myself I do 99% of the inside house chores and outside I wash/wax the vehicles, garden, etc. All of this which is NEVER expected of hubby, thank goodness for that.

[RLC12345678]

My mother never taught me those things. She said that I would learn soon enough on my own. And I have. Now I am married and I have learned to do all those things out of necessity. But I didn't learn how to do them for my husband's sake, but my sake. My husband knew from day 1 that we will share the household chores....that includes cooking, cleaning, laundry, everything. We both cook and we both clean. I do my own laundry and he does his own. I think your daughter should know how to do those things, but not so she can take care of a MAN, but so she can take care of HERSELF! I think you are absolutely teaching her the right thing by not waiting on a man. They should both be equals! However, I did learn to do my own laundry at a very young age and my sisters and I were always the ones responsible for cleaning the kitchen every night.

[Carolyn]

WTF is that! I think BOTH your girl and boy should learn how to do these things. I would never make my daughter clean her brother's room! I have made him clean hers when he trashed it though. I can't belive your MIL made your daughter serve her husband. Oh man I would be sooooooo pissed!

[Tink]

All 3 of my kids learned to do and became responsible for their own laundry at age 12. 2 of the 3 have cooked in restaurants based on what they learned at home. They all were responsible for their own messes and helping with household chores regardless of gender.

My hubby was 34 and had never been married when we met. He can cook, clean, and anything else he needs to do to take care of himself. I think we ALL need to know how to do that because sooner or later many of us DO end up living alone.

As for waiting on a man, that's just not my "thing". I wouldn't encourage my daughters to do it, since I don't see any need for it on a regular basis. If we want to do it and it's reciprocated, then fine... if it's "just another chore" then forget it!

[Marilyn]

Okay, girl, you ask for opinions, and we all have one....

Like everything else in life, this is all about attitude. There is nothing wrong with girls and boys learning how to do just about anything, from scrubbing the bathroom, cooking, folding clothes, sewing, changing the oil in the car, fixing a flat. These are basic life skills.

Here's where the attitude part comes in. My husband and I wait on each other. I don't resent waiting on him, and he does not resent waiting on me. Sometimes I get him a glass of coke and sometimes he brings me a snack. It's give and take.

When a husband has the attitude that his wife must wait on him, and she's otherwise pulling her weight in the family, then he has the wrong attitude. If a husband asks his wife to get him a glass or something to drink, because he's had a hard day, she should not have the attitude that he should darn well get it for himself.

If you truly love each other, and have care and compassion for one another, there is no resentment. That does not mean that we don't get aggravated from time to time, we are all human, but we need to be respectful of each other.

My girls aren't perfect, but they have been taught basic life skills, they've folded clothes and cleaned for years, and sometimes they wait on their dad. I don't have a problem with that, because he does a lot of things for them like buy them nice cars and fixes them when they have fender benders, buys them clothes, cell phones, Ipods, etc, etc.

It's just not that big a deal in our family.

[Mandy78]

I grew up with a stay at home mom, and she did everything for my dad and for us kids. But that is what she loved to do. I was at the age where she was starting to teach me things such as cooking and all that when she passed away very suddenly. By that time, my brother was already at college, so it was Dad and me to fend for ourselves! So we both had to learn to cook and clean! GRRR!!!! It was such a hoot the 1st time we had to do a load of laundry. We had no idea how to start the darn thing! So my Aunt had to come over to show us!!!!! But I was 13 when all this happened!!! So it just became a way of life for the 2 of us!

But...I am soooo not a good cooker. I wish I had someone to HELP me along the way. I am learning to cook now from my MIL, who was also a stay at home and waited on her kids and hubby hand and foot! And Italian at that....(Stubborn) LOL!!!

But she still taught her kids how to do everything! And I love the fact that if I cook, Ray cleans up. If he cooks, he still cleans up! HE tells me to relax! He cleans the house, takes care of the yard, does laundry!!! EVERYTHING!!! I love it!

IMO...I think EVERY child no matter what sex should be taught how to do everything. Taught how to do things...not wait on anyone!!!! I like what was said earlier, you do things for someone such as your spouse out of love. When you are in a great relationship, thats what you want to do! But it goes both ways! When I am off during the week, and Ray comes home to all the laundry done, clean house and dinner ready, he is always soo appreciative!!! On his day off during the week, and I come home to everything done and dinner ready, and he serves me, I am sooooo happy!!!!! And of course he gets lucky too! LMAO!

I guess what I am trying to say is that I wish I was able to learn from my mother all the things I had to learn on my own. I still to this day have no idea how to even thread a needle to sew a button on a blouse if it fell off. I wish I knew all the "secret" ingredients to her special recipes. I guess I would love to have had that bonding time! Her technigue for ironing, my mom always had our stuff ironed perfectly. I do a lousy job at it.

And my parents had GREAT respect for each other, Ray's parents had GREAT respect for each other. Our mothers did things out of love! Our Dads did things for our Moms too out of love. Why wouldn't they want to? So that is how we are, and if and when we have kids, I hope they would see the same with us. Doing things for each other out of love.

Sorry so long!

[Marilyn]

Originally Posted by Mandy78

I grew up with a stay at home mom, and she did everything for my dad and for us kids. But that is what she loved to do. I was at the age where she was starting to teach me things such as cooking and all that when she passed away very suddenly. By that time, my brother was already at college, so it was Dad and me to fend for ourselves! So we both had to learn to cook and clean! GRRR!!!! It was such a hoot the 1st time we had to do a load of laundry. We had no idea how to start the darn thing! So my Aunt had to come over to show us!!!!! But I was 13 when all this happened!!! So it just became a way of life for the 2 of us!

But...I am soooo not a good cooker. I wish I had someone to HELP me along the way. I am learning to cook now from my MIL, who was also a stay at home and waited on her kids and hubby hand and foot! And Italian at that....(Stubborn) LOL!!!

But she still taught her kids how to do everything! And I love the fact that if I cook, Ray cleans up. If he cooks, he still cleans up! HE tells me to relax! He cleans the house, takes care of the yard, does laundry!!! EVERYTHING!!! I love it!

IMO...I think EVERY child no matter what sex should be taught how to do everything. Taught how to do things...not wait on anyone!!!! I like what was said earlier, you do things for someone such as your spouse out of love. When you are in a great relationship, thats what you want to do! But it goes both ways! When I am off during the week, and Ray comes home to all the laundry done, clean house and dinner ready, he is always soo appreciative!!! On his day off during the week, and I come home to everything done and dinner ready, and he serves me, I am sooooo happy!!!!! And of course he gets lucky too! LMAO!

I guess what I am trying to say is that I wish I was able to learn from my mother all the things I had to learn on my own. I still to this day have no idea how to even thread a needle to sew a button on a blouse if it fell off. I wish I knew all the "secret" ingredients to her special recipes. I guess I would love to have had that bonding time! Her technigue for ironing, my mom always had our stuff ironed perfectly. I do a lousy job at it.

And my parents had GREAT respect for each other, Ray's parents had GREAT respect for each other. Our mothers did things out of love! Our Dads did things for our Moms too out of love. Why wouldn't they want to? So that is how we are, and if and when we have kids, I hope they would see the same with us. Doing things for each other out of love.

Sorry so long!

Mandy, this is great!! You have a wonderful relationship. Sad you could not have learned those special things from your mom, but you can make you own things special and pass them on to your children. Great Post!!

[Janet]

Originally Posted by Mandy78

I grew up with a stay at home mom, and she did everything for my dad and for us kids. But that is what she loved to do. I was at the age where she was starting to teach me things such as cooking and all that when she passed away very suddenly. By that time, my brother was already at college, so it was Dad and me to fend for ourselves! So we both had to learn to cook and clean! GRRR!!!! It was such a hoot the 1st time we had to do a load of laundry. We had no idea how to start the darn thing! So my Aunt had to come over to show us!!!!! But I was 13 when all this happened!!! So it just became a way of life for the 2 of us!

But...I am soooo not a good cooker. I wish I had someone to HELP me along the way. I am learning to cook now from my MIL, who was also a stay at home and waited on her kids and hubby hand and foot! And Italian at that....(Stubborn) LOL!!!

But she still taught her kids how to do everything! And I love the fact that if I cook, Ray cleans up. If he cooks, he still cleans up! HE tells me to relax! He cleans the house, takes care of the yard, does laundry!!! EVERYTHING!!! I love it!

IMO...I think EVERY child no matter what sex should be taught how to do everything. Taught how to do things...not wait on anyone!!!! I like what was said earlier, you do things for someone such as your spouse out of love. When you are in a great relationship, thats what you want to do! But it goes both ways! When I am off during the week, and Ray comes home to all the laundry done, clean house and dinner ready, he is always soo appreciative!!! On his day off during the week, and I come home to everything done and dinner ready, and he serves me, I am sooooo happy!!!!! And of course he gets lucky too! LMAO!

I guess what I am trying to say is that I wish I was able to learn from my mother all the things I had to learn on my own. I still to this day have no idea how to even thread a needle to sew a button on a blouse if it fell off. I wish I knew all the "secret" ingredients to her special recipes. I guess I would love to have had that bonding time! Her technigue for ironing, my mom always had our stuff ironed perfectly. I do a lousy job at it.

And my parents had GREAT respect for each other, Ray's parents had GREAT respect for each other. Our mothers did things out of love! Our Dads did things for our Moms too out of love. Why wouldn't they want to? So that is how we are, and if and when we have kids, I hope they would see the same with us. Doing things for each other out of love.

Sorry so long!

You did a great job with this post!!! Thanks