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Old 02-08-2008, 01:00 PM   #1
Tink
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Too funny!

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard! The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.

"Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich,"
she said.

I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

I love mustard.

I had no napkin.

I licked it off.

It was not mustard.

No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do; only I did it on my tongue!

Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said, "Now you know why they call that fancy mustard ... "Poupon."
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Old 02-08-2008, 02:42 PM   #2
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Old 02-09-2008, 05:17 AM   #3
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That's hilarious. I've been making ham sandwiches this past week. I'm sure I will burst out laughing while making my next one and pulling out the "fancy" mustard thinking of this story.

Thanks for the laugh Tink.
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Old 02-09-2008, 07:28 AM   #4
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Oh,my!! That's a really good one!!!!
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Old 02-11-2008, 10:55 AM   #5
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OMGosh!!!!! I bet that husband didn't spread that story around to his friends! How awful!!!
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Old 02-19-2008, 10:31 AM   #6
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that was a good one.
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Old 03-24-2008, 06:45 PM   #7
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Lol!!
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Old 03-24-2008, 07:15 PM   #8
katcarasella
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Tink, you should be on Comedy Central with all your stories. You're so funny.
LMAO
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Old 03-25-2008, 05:02 AM   #9
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That is too funny!!!!
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Old 03-25-2008, 01:13 PM   #10
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Peeing here!!!!!
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