Don't know what to do!

[HALEY]

I wanted to thank all of you for your wonderful advice!
We have been talking the last couple of days, and he has been helping me more around the house too which is a big shocker! I can't believe he went grocery shopping with me yesterday, we even took the baby! It was nice not to carry all those grocery by myself. Then we did talk alittle bit last night about his mother and him working all these hours, it's hard having the baby everynight by myself, i have to cook, clean, laundry, feed the baby, wash the clothes, you ladies know the list is never ending, then i don't get to bed until 10:00 pm and im up at 4 am..
it's just not fair and he agreed with me.
She did show him the letter that i wrote to her, he didn't have a comment on it so i let it go, all i said is his family is welcome over here anytime they wanted to come over, just call ahead in case the baby is sleeping, or i have plans to go out with Micah, and i dropped it!!! i will let it go at that, that is all i'm saying about his family, i put the ball in there corner.. Now it's up to them.. This fighting about them is going to stop before i have a breakdown here....
I did feel alittle less stressed last night, i was glad we had that talk and we'll see how it goes , im just taking it one day at a time, and praying everynight on it.

[Gina]

I am glad to read your post this morning Communication is the key and its making him see. Just keep expressing your feelings. Trust me there is nothing out there. I have girlfriends my age 50's who are on third divorces and are bitter women. Some have regrets of leaving their first marriages years ago. Remember the grass is not always greener on the other side. You find it hard now with a husband, forget it when he is not there you will be on call 24/7 working , paying bills taking care of your son.

Just think it through and give him a chance see what happens.. Good luck!

[HALEY]

Originally Posted by Gina

I am glad to read your post this morning Communication is the key and its making him see. Just keep expressing your feelings. Trust me there is nothing out there. I have girlfriends my age 50's who are on third divorces and are bitter women. Some have regrets of leaving their first marriages years ago. Remember the grass is not always greener on the other side. You find it hard now with a husband, forget it when he is not there you will be on call 24/7 working , paying bills taking care of your son.

Just think it through and give him a chance see what happens.. Good luck!

im trying Gina, but it's a shame it takes almost separting for men to wake up!!
He should be helping me around the house, with our son, etc. and with his mother he knows i was right, he should have been on my side on that one!!
it just gets to me! I don't want to yell or scream at him for him to listen to me, he married me.. he should be my other half that makes me whole... It just makes me look like the bad person all the time. He needs to stand up to his mother once in a while.. But i refuse to fight about her anymore. she is not babysitting for me no more, and she will always be welcome in my house if she wants to come over and see her grandson..

[Janet]

I sure wish I had some good advice to offer. Gina's done a really good job. You do need to think it through, because she's right, if you separate, you'll definitely be doing it all then.

Remember too that your husband as worked all day. Don't jump him when he walks in the door. Give him some time to adjust to being home and then just ask him to help do this or help do that.

Men really don't think the way we do..a shame isn't it?...so some of them need to be told or asked nicely to do whatever. The things around the house that are important to us are not important to them. We have to tell them.

As far as the in-laws...don't fight with them, the battle will always be there if you do. There is a big difference in wanting to be right and having respect for them, after all they did something right or you wouldn't have fallen for their son. I always found keeping a small distance and not giving out all information is a great way to keep the family together.

[HALEY]

Originally Posted by Janet

I sure wish I had some good advice to offer. Gina's done a really good job. You do need to think it through, because she's right, if you separate, you'll definitely be doing it all then.

Remember too that your husband as worked all day. Don't jump him when he walks in the door. Give him some time to adjust to being home and then just ask him to help do this or help do that.

Men really don't think the way we do..a shame isn't it?...so some of them need to be told or asked nicely to do whatever. The things around the house that are important to us are not important to them. We have to tell them.

As far as the in-laws...don't fight with them, the battle will always be there if you do. There is a big difference in wanting to be right and having respect for them, after all they did something right or you wouldn't have fallen for their son. I always found keeping a small distance and not giving out all information is a great way to keep the family together.

Thanks Janet, Yes i am done talking about the in-laws, i said what i had to say to his mother and Mike also..
As for the stuff around the house, he needs to realize that i work also 8 1.2 hours a day too, then i run home to pick up the baby, feed him, bath him, cook, dishes, laundry, clean the house etc. i need help too... he wants to work 7 days a week and he does side jobs at night so i don't see him til 9:00 at night and i know we have tons of bills so does everyone else! were managing. He needs to spend time with his son too. That's another one of our fights too! Micah is only yound once. He's going to regret it one day, not spending time with him. its' sad.

[Janet]

don't know what happened there, but had a double post so I deleted one....duh!!!...LOL